plasticjock
13-Nov-09, 00:05
This bloke walks into a bar, notices a very large sweetie jar on the counter and sees that it's chokka to the brim with £10 notes. He guesses there must be thousands of pounds in it. Intrigued, he approaches the landlord and asks. ‘What's the situation with the jar?’
’Well, you pay £10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money.’
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. 'What are the three tests?'
'Pay first, those are the rules.' says the landlord. So the man gives him the £10 and the landlord slips it into the jar.
'OK,' the landlord says. 'Here's what you need to do......first, you have to drink an entire litre of pepper tequila, the whole thing, all at once...and you can't make a face while doing it.
Second, there's a pit-bull chained-up out back with a rotten tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.
And third, there's a 90-year old woman upstairs who has never had an orgasm. You've got to put things right for her.'
The man is stunned. 'What! I know I paid my £10, but I'm not an idiot, I won't do it! You have to be nuts to drink a litre of pepper tequila, and then do those other things.'
'It’s your call,' says the landlord, 'but the money stays where it is.'
As time passes, the man has a few drinks, all the while staring at the sweetie jar, then a few more and finally gets up and slurs, 'Where’z zat sequila?'
He grabs the bottle off the landlord and downs it with big slurps. Tears are streaming down both cheeks, his ears are trying to get off his head but he doesn't make a face.
Next, he staggers out back where the pit-bull is chained-up and soon the people inside the bar can hear a noisy scuffle begin outside.
They hear the pit bull barking, then the guy screaming, then the pit bull yelping and then silence.
Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar with his shirt in tatters and huge bloody scratches and welts all over his body.
'Now!' he gasps. 'Where'z’old woman with the sore tooth?'
’Well, you pay £10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money.’
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. 'What are the three tests?'
'Pay first, those are the rules.' says the landlord. So the man gives him the £10 and the landlord slips it into the jar.
'OK,' the landlord says. 'Here's what you need to do......first, you have to drink an entire litre of pepper tequila, the whole thing, all at once...and you can't make a face while doing it.
Second, there's a pit-bull chained-up out back with a rotten tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.
And third, there's a 90-year old woman upstairs who has never had an orgasm. You've got to put things right for her.'
The man is stunned. 'What! I know I paid my £10, but I'm not an idiot, I won't do it! You have to be nuts to drink a litre of pepper tequila, and then do those other things.'
'It’s your call,' says the landlord, 'but the money stays where it is.'
As time passes, the man has a few drinks, all the while staring at the sweetie jar, then a few more and finally gets up and slurs, 'Where’z zat sequila?'
He grabs the bottle off the landlord and downs it with big slurps. Tears are streaming down both cheeks, his ears are trying to get off his head but he doesn't make a face.
Next, he staggers out back where the pit-bull is chained-up and soon the people inside the bar can hear a noisy scuffle begin outside.
They hear the pit bull barking, then the guy screaming, then the pit bull yelping and then silence.
Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar with his shirt in tatters and huge bloody scratches and welts all over his body.
'Now!' he gasps. 'Where'z’old woman with the sore tooth?'