PDA

View Full Version : Unaswered questions answered



grantyg
14-Apr-06, 10:23
Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court , is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

Or watch a white thing come out a chicken behind and think, "that ought to taste good."

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

grantyg
14-Apr-06, 10:23
Can you cry under water?

Yes, obviously.


How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

When it's for a political reason.


If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches?

What's another word for 'Thesauus'?


Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

'cos cuts of meat traditionally are


Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?

Ever gone a day without spending a penny?


Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Heaven consists of 8mm wetsuits you don't know you're wearing, that's why it's heaven!


Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Ever tried making a flat-packing round box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?
Could be anything!



How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Because moveable socks weren't a pre-cursor to intercontinental missiles.


Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Because they've never had kids....and do babies not wet the bed????


If a deaf person has to go to court , is it still called a hearing?

Yup, but you can't type it in sign language.



If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Yes. True.


Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Because the movie you're *in* is *on* TV....simple.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Because they look different from there?! Ever climbed a mountain?! Brings **** like this into perspective...


How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America

Ask Americans....QED (And while you're at it, ask a US president what 'QED' means!)


Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Er......same reason they don't giggle whilst sticking a finger up your bum....it's easier to let the patient deal with it than spend an hour explaining how little they care.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Anyone.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Americans. Again.


Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Do dyslexics? I certainly enjoyed it, but preferred Birdseye Alphabites.



Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

A calf, surely?


Or watch a white thing come out a chicken behind and think, "that ought to taste good."

Probably a fox type creature, and if they can eat it....

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Crumpets.



Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

There's one in our freezer. Both of them.



When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?

No idea, in my passport I wasn't allowed to smile. Probably Americans again.


Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Goofy: Weird. Pluto: Planet. Dog: Animal given dumb names. Probably by Americans.

What do you call male ballerinas?

Er.....Male ballet dancers. Sorry.


Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

Yes, in their own experiences. And yes.


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Minerals, you put it on babies. Leave a baby long enough (a million years or so) and you might get real baby oil.



If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Electricity doesn't come from electrons, it's the movement of electrons. As such, morality is the movement of morons...explains the Daily Mail I suppose.

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

No, it's run by a huge group of enormously wealthy humans. Can't believe you fell for the mouse thing...


Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Most western songs have the same cadence and melody deep down, so yes.


Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

I didn't, I'd heard the theory before. But you did before posting this didn't you?!


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

Really? Your breath must be so bad even your dog hates it...