Preventing Alien Abductions [Archive]

crayola

17-Oct-09, 01:57

I discovered the following website when I was researching the diverse opinions expressed on swine flu vaccines tomight:

How You Can Prevent Alien & Military Abductions & Spiritual Attack (http://www.metatech.org/preventing_alien_abductions.html)

Has anyone here been abducted by Martians and if so do you have a tale to share with us?

Metalattakk

17-Oct-09, 02:22

I'm safe, I wear my Thought Screen Helmet (http://www.stopabductions.com/) at all times.

;)

How The Thought Screen Helmet Works
The thought screen helmet scrambles telepathic communication between aliens and humans. Aliens cannot immobilize people wearing thought screens nor can they control their minds or communicate with them using their telepathy. When aliens can't communicate or control humans, they do not take them.

[lol]

Dog-eared

17-Oct-09, 02:28

Kitchen foil under all my clothing works for me....:eek:

Metalattakk

17-Oct-09, 02:34

Another riotous excerpt from http://www.stopabductions.com/

A Record of Success
The thought screen helmet has effectively stopped several types of aliens from abducting or controlling humans. Only four failures have been reported since 1998.
Only four failures sine 1998? Brilliant stuff.... :D

joxville

17-Oct-09, 09:36

I discovered the following website when I was researching the diverse opinions expressed on swine flu vaccines tomight:

How You Can Prevent Alien & Military Abductions & Spiritual Attack (http://www.metatech.org/preventing_alien_abductions.html)

Has anyone here been abducted by Martians and if so do you have a tale to share with us?
I have, and maybe I'm not who I say I am. ;)

[lol]

Gronnuck

17-Oct-09, 09:37

I always carry a copy of the John O'Groats Journal in the boot of the car. Handy for putting dirty boots on, stuffing into wet shoes and thwarting Alien abductions. In fact since carrying the journal I've never seen an Alien never mind been visited by one! ;)
As far as I'm concerned its, Journal 1 Aliens 0.

dietcokegirl

17-Oct-09, 11:48

I always carry a copy of the John O'Groats Journal in the boot of the car. Handy for putting dirty boots on, stuffing into wet shoes and thwarting Alien abductions. In fact since carrying the journal I've never seen an Alien never mind been visited by one! ;)
As far as I'm concerned its, Journal 1 Aliens 0.

:lol: :lol: Nice to see the groat has other uses other than using it to start my fire!

Phill

17-Oct-09, 12:11

I have thwarted many alien abduction attempts over the years.
No need for these fancy smancy thought screens or tin foil under your hat.
Just brute force and fast moves will save the day.

In my experience they always attack late in the evening, especially Friday and Saturdays. And after closing time for some reason!
The often morph themselves into the shape of a hedge, small wall or gutter.
My tactic is to throw yourself at them and this simply overpowers them, due to the sheer energy clash I sometimes passout but they just disappear afterwards, totally defeated.

Leanne

17-Oct-09, 12:13

I'm safe, I wear my Thought Screen Helmet (http://www.stopabductions.com/) at all times.

;)

[lol]

I have one of those too!!!

crayola

17-Oct-09, 13:26

Another riotous excerpt from http://www.stopabductions.com/

Only four failures sine 1998? Brilliant stuff.... :DFrom the same website....

Perfumes
Several abductees report that aliens do not like perfume. One abductee claims that they stopped an abduction by exposing strong cheap perfume to aliens.Strong cheap perfume may not look awful but on balance I prefer the helmet.

http://i38.tinypic.com/11afka0.gif

unicorn

17-Oct-09, 13:35

I'm safe, I wear my Thought Screen Helmet (http://www.stopabductions.com/) at all times.

;)

[lol]

You don't have to though, you are an alien [lol]

Metalattakk

17-Oct-09, 14:37

You don't have to though, you are an alien [lol]

:D You're not wearing the helmet, are you?

redeyedtreefrog

17-Oct-09, 14:50

You're safe as long as they dont read your thoughts. Wear a hat and remain thoughtless at all times.

unicorn

17-Oct-09, 15:16

I am safe, I have no coherent thoughts [lol]

Stavro

17-Oct-09, 16:52

http://i38.tinypic.com/11afka0.gif

So he's worn it for 18 years and never been abducted by aliens once. I think that is conclusive proof of something.

[lol]

davie

17-Oct-09, 17:23

Has anyone here been abducted by Martians and if so do you have a tale to share with us?

Its many years ago now but I certainly have been abducted by aliens at least once. I distinctly remember leaving a dance in Melness around maybe 0200 one Saturday morning and then being transported somewhere, I know not where. The little green uggers dumped me and the old Anglia in a ditch somewhere around Drumhollistan about 0830 that same day.
There were other times when the same thing happened, never during the week but always in the dead of night at weekends. I think these aliens maybe work at Dounreay during the week and get up to their devilment on Friday & Saturday nights.
I have never told a soul about these strange happenings but trust me its all the honest truth.

crayola

17-Oct-09, 17:25

Its many years ago now but I certainly have been abducted by aliens at least once. I distinctly remember leaving a dance in Melness around maybe 0200 one Saturday morning and then being transported somewhere, I know not where. The little green uggers dumped me and the old Anglia in a ditch somewhere around Drumhollistan about 0830 that same day.
Were you wearing a helmet?

davie

17-Oct-09, 17:28

Were you wearing a helmet?

Now that I can not remember !. I know my mother had knitted me a nice balaclava about that time but being a bit vain I doubt if I wore it to a dance in Melness.
Probably if I had, the strange out of body experiences would not have happened.

Stavro

17-Oct-09, 19:27

Were you wearing a helmet?

If he was, he could take it back and get a full refund.

catran

17-Oct-09, 19:41

Its many years ago now but I certainly have been abducted by aliens at least once. I distinctly remember leaving a dance in Melness around maybe 0200 one Saturday morning and then being transported somewhere, I know not where. The little green uggers dumped me and the old Anglia in a ditch somewhere around Drumhollistan about 0830 that same day.
There were other times when the same thing happened, never during the week but always in the dead of night at weekends. I think these aliens maybe work at Dounreay during the week and get up to their devilment on Friday & Saturday nights.
I have never told a soul about these strange happenings but trust me its all the honest truth.

I believe you:lol:Cracker