Feng Shui

[Errogie]

I've recently been enlightened about the importance of having a good Feng Shui adviser to offer offer advice on building developments or indeed any major rearrangement of furniture and decor.

This happened during a tour of Hong Kong when I asked why a hole had been left in the middle of a large block of flats and the explanation was that the Feng Shui doctor had requested that the space should be left to allow the resident dragon an easy access route from his hill top lair down to the sea. Similarly a swimming pool had been added to another high rise building because it too closely resmbled one of the candles commonly burnt at Chinese funerals.

So then I learn that our local hydro electric scheme at Glendoe above Loch Ness is to be closed for at least a year after a major rock fall in the tunnel down to the loch just two months after her majesty opened it. Suddenly the answer to this disaster is apparent, Scottish and Southern Energy failed to consider the effect of their development upon the Loch Ness Monster particularly the implications of messing up the energy fields and ley lines upon the lochs most important and much valued resident.

I therefore feel that I must study the art more fully so that upon my return to Scotland I am able to offer my services to Highland Council's Planning Service as a very reasonably priced Feng Shui consultant upon Wind Farms and any other such devlopments. Regrettably, I feel that it may be too late for Dounereay.

[Gizmo]

I've recently been enlightened about the importance of having a good Feng Shui adviser to offer offer advice on building developments or indeed any major rearrangement of furniture and decor.

This happened during a tour of Hong Kong when I asked why a hole had been left in the middle of a large block of flats and the explanation was that the Feng Shui doctor had requested that the space should be left to allow the resident dragon an easy access route from his hill top lair down to the sea. Similarly a swimming pool had been added to another high rise building because it too closely resmbled one of the candles commonly burnt at Chinese funerals.

So then I learn that our local hydro electric scheme at Glendoe above Loch Ness is to be closed for at least a year after a major rock fall in the tunnel down to the loch just two months after her majesty opened it. Suddenly the answer to this disaster is apparent, Scottish and Southern Energy failed to consider the effect of their development upon the Loch Ness Monster particularly the implications of messing up the energy fields and ley lines upon the lochs most important and much valued resident.

I therefore feel that I must study the art more fully so that upon my return to Scotland I am able to offer my services to Highland Council's Planning Service as a very reasonably priced Feng Shui consultant upon Wind Farms and any other such devlopments. Regrettably, I feel that it may be too late for Dounereay.

Is this post a joke?, or do you also believe in little green men from Mars, the easter bunny, and Fairies at the bottom of the garden?...geez oh, what a load oh codswallop.
Perhaps i should go fetch that pot of gold from the end of the Rainbow i just saw?, or maybe i'll just send my pet Leprechaun to fetch it on his magical bike made from stardust :p

[crayola]

My Glesga pal Big Shui does Hydro homers, he'll fix it for them.

[redeyedtreefrog]

I know, let's all go buy some unicorns to ride to the Feng Shuei doctor! Then we can invite Dumbledore to tea in our feng-shuied underwater palace, which we built with the help of the mermaids!

[Gizmo]

I know, let's all go buy some unicorns to ride to the Feng Shuei doctor! Then we can invite Dumbledore to tea in our feng-shuied underwater palace, which we built with the help of the mermaids!

Come on now, don't be silly, everyone knows that Dumbledore is real :lol:

[Stefan]

I wouldn't make too many jokes about feng shui... it might back fire...

[gleeber]

I wouldn't make too many jokes about feng shui... it might back fire...
I was going to make a flippant comment about Errogie getting more like his brother every post and whether feng shui could be genetic, but ive changed my mind. :eek:

[black16i]

well av hurt ma foot and am struggling to get ma fengin shui on now, :Razz

[Gleber2]

Ah, blessed are the sceptics. Then I wonder, is sceptic synonymous with ingnorant. There is a fair body of people who believe in the concepts of Feng Shui and the Chinese and Japanese have been civilised for an awful lot longer than the West. I have been a firm believer in the concepts of Feng Shui for a long time. After all, there must be something we have done wrong to have reduced the planet to the state of barbarism that it is presently enjoying.[evil]

[davem]

Its just tidying up - no biggie! You don't want dragons trippin over stuff.

[redeyedtreefrog]

Ah, blessed are the sceptics. Then I wonder, is sceptic synonymous with ignorant. No, any good sceptic would change their mind presented with good strong evidence, of which feng shui has none.
There is a fair body of people who believe in the concepts of Feng Shui and the Chinese and Japanese have been civilised for an awful lot longer than the West.

There once was a fair body of people who believed the Earth was flat, there are a fair body of people who believe in White supremacy- Doesn't make it fact.

[canuck]

Errogie, it sounds like your journey has been most enlightening.
Return safely!

[ciderally]

I'm fair Feng Shui'ed oot......

[domino]

Everybody to their own as long as it does not harm anyone>.

[Errogie]

Two thousand years ago the Chinese had a civilisation and technology which was far ahead of anything recorded in Caithness at the same time.
We still make use of a lot of it today from fireworks to acupuncture so perhaps we need to have an open mind about feng shui, but hey, what has happeened to the famous org sense of humour and horizontal thinking which was it's trademark of several years ago?

I'm afraid that some of the more recent contributors need to lighten up.
Occasionaly feel like i've strayed into the A.G.M. of the Citizen's Advice Bureau, or even the famous handbook for my last Lada car which of course all have a legitiimate place in the order of things but don't (in my opinion) provide the greatest entertainment.

[Stefan]

Lada... I had one once... terribly enjoyable car if walking is the alternative... not sure about dragons in the boot though...

[Gleber2]

Two thousand years ago the Chinese had a civilisation and technology which was far ahead of anything recorded in Caithness at the same time.
We still make use of a lot of it today from fireworks to acupuncture so perhaps we need to have an open mind about feng shui, but hey, what has happeened to the famous org sense of humour and horizontal thinking which was it's trademark of several years ago?

I'm afraid that some of the more recent contributors need to lighten up.
Occasionaly feel like i've strayed into the A.G.M. of the Citizen's Advice Bureau, or even the famous handbook for my last Lada car which of course all have a legitiimate place in the order of things but don't (in my opinion) provide the greatest entertainment.
Weel sed check!!!!

[redeyedtreefrog]

Two thousand years ago the Chinese had a civilisation and technology which was far ahead of anything recorded in Caithness at the same time.
Still doesn't mean they know everything. The whole world hasn't adopted communism, have they? And China are utterly terrible at controlling their emissions.


We still make use of a lot of it today from fireworks to acupuncture
Acupuncture doesn't work.



I'm afraid that some of the more recent contributors need to lighten up.
Occasionaly feel like i've strayed into the A.G.M. of the Citizen's Advice Bureau, or even the famous handbook for my last Lada car which of course all have a legitiimate place in the order of things but don't (in my opinion) provide the greatest entertainment.

Sorry for not "Lightening up", but I just can't leave it alone when people think things like this are real.

[Gizmo]

Acupuncture doesn't work.

I'll second that, i've had acupuncture dozens of times, on my knees and back, and while it does seem to give some short term pain relief (a few days), it certainly does NOT work in the long term.

[George Brims]

...the Chinese and Japanese have been civilised for an awful lot longer than the West.

The Japanese showed little sign of being civilised in the late 1930s and first half of the 40s. Depends on your definition I suppose.

[Gizmo]

The Japanese showed little sign of being civilised in the late 1930s and first half of the 40s. Depends on your definition I suppose.

And the Chinese still hold public executions, hardly the sign of a civilised society.

[scorrie]

Feng Shui tip number 13:-

"Good afternoon Gentlemen. If we could get these tanks into a straighter line, it will bring much positive energy to the Square"

http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i237/scorrie57/tianan06.jpg

[redeyedtreefrog]

Good one Scorrie

[crayola]

After I read this thread I tried to learn some Feng Shui. The most useful tip I found was one I already knew.....


Knickers, yes you heard right (not the sort of tip I would normally give but so many people swear by it), they say if you wear red knickers to a job interview, your chances are greater of being offered a position, even a visit to your bank manager. Now I have to say this only applies to the ladies, I don't want any men saying to their partners, that Jo from the Feng Shui Store told me to wear them. I suppose red Y fronts or boxers would have the same effect. Just to clarify, you don't just wear the knickers; it would be advisable to wear other clothes on top, although maybe that's why I am getting such good feedback on this advice.

http://i34.tinypic.com/6fv2qd.jpg
It works every time for me. Please try it and report its success back here. Gentlemen welcome.


Feng Shui tips on what to look for in your present home/office or a new one if you are thinking about buying. (http://www.fengshuiweb.co.uk/advice/tipsfornewhome.htm)

[Errogie]

I hesitate to expand this fascinating exchange into a comparison or even a slanging match between eastern and western cultures and communism and capitalism but would rather have an open mind when looking at the smorgasbord of our global village. But, here goes....

Yes, I admit to having owned a number of Lada cars (interesting motoring) and to a fondness for Russian authors and composers. I also like jazz and bluegrass but find U.S. fascination with guns and their intolerance of access to private land incomprehensible in the supposed land of the free. And as for their take on freeing the Lockerbie bomber what is that about, when Lieutenant Calley walked free from the Ma Li massacre by his soldiers.

There's good and bad on both sides and while veneration of the elderly may not be as strong as it once was in China I think the concept of keeping elderly members of your family with you is way ahead of the U.K.'s trend to ship them out to "granny farms". Incidentally Hong Kong where I met feng shui gave up capital punishment about the same time as we did.

But perhaps my dig at Highland Council's recent much criticised budget for consultants and its sometimes tortuous town and country planning process was too obscure for some readers.