breaking wind

[Billy Boy]

Myself and a colleague were talking today about breaking wind and how some people say they just dont do it. (found that really amusing) I mean be honest if you were walking up the street and needed to break wind what would you do let rip or walk funny:confused:
It seems it is acceptable for a man to break wind, but not a woman why is this:confused:
Also i am wondering what everyone else's views are on this:evil

[obiron]

folk who say they dont let off are talking crazy. if you need to let off you do. besides you can always blame the kids, your other half or some person in front of you. as my dad tells me when he lets rip wherever you may be let your wind be free.

[SJR]

I cant burp but i suppose that is irrelivent!

[Billy Boy]

folk who say they dont let off are talking crazy. if you need to let off you do. besides you can always blame the kids, your other half or some person in front of you. as my dad tells me when he lets rip wherever you may be let your wind be free.
your dad is a man of many wise words. i hope you always listen to him:lol:

[Billy Boy]

I cant burp but i suppose that is irrelivent!
depends is it a botty burp[or as posh folk say a trouser cough]:lol:

[acameron]

Cant recall ever breaking wind! Im too mean to let go of something without getting some kind of remuneration for it.

[obiron]

your dad is a man of many wise words. i hope you always listen to him:lol:

thats why im so wise the day. [lol]
trouser cough for a posh person never heard that one. very funny[lol] [lol]

[connieb19]

I cannot believe that some people would not break wind in front of their husband or partner, I mean, how do they manage to hold it in??[lol]

[lol] Saying that, I am single....I wonder why???:confused: :evil

[Billy Boy]

I cannot believe that some people would not break wind in front of their husband or partner, I mean, how do they manage to hold it in??[lol]

[lol] Saying that, I am single....I wonder why???:confused: :evil
it canna smell that bad lol!!!!!

[unicorn]

definately not something I could do in front of people, I go to the bathroom!

[connieb19]

definately not something I could do in front of people, I go to the bathroom!Not even your hubby?:confused: [lol]

[unicorn]

other than occasionally in front of hubby and daughter lol but not in front of anyone else not even my mum!!

[Billy Boy]

definately not something I could do in front of people, I go to the bathroom!
you will get a good echo in there lol:lol: :lol:

[unicorn]

I shout at hubby for doing it so I have to try to be good then lol :)

[connieb19]

other than occasionally in front of hubby and daughter lol but not in front of anyone else not even my mum!!Well, come to think of it, I don't do it in front of just anyone, but if I lved in the same house as someone, i woud imagine it would be quite difficult not to do it...lol

[landmarker]

There are ways of trumping in silent mode. Though it's a little delicate to mention here. Oh well.....you wouldn't be reading this thread if you were that delicate. Parting your bum cheeks helps, but the downside is a stinky hand for a while. This only works if you have a reasonable amount of fat on your buttocks.Often a cause of acoustic reverberations when not parted.

I often let rip though, just for the hell of it. Always when alone, sometimes with my wife - she always looks at me disaprovingly, even though I always say 'excuse me' .She herself has only broken wind 'out loud' in my presence a handful of times in thirty odd years. Bless her.

I'm definitely a follower of the 'better out than in' school of thought.

[connieb19]

[quote=landmarker .She herself has only broken wind 'out loud' a handful of times in thirty odd years.[/quote]I bet shes fartin like a trooper when you're not about...lol[lol] [lol]

[connieb19]

http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/cza0155l.jpg

[Billy Boy]

mrs billy boy here.......heck connie that looks like mr billy boy after a day at work about as romantic anyway :lol:

[acameron]

Mrs Billy Boy ---- Thats what he looks like when he is at work!!!

[connieb19]

This was Billy boy at work the other day!!!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/917759_d8fb776a6d_m.jpg

[WeeBurd]

I never every trumped in front of my hubby... I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried! Until I fell pregnant, that is, just try keeping it in then, hahahaha:lol: !!

[Billy Boy]

Mrs Billy Boy ---- Thats what he looks like when he is at work!!!

what tune does he play to you then ac:confused:

[Billy Boy]

This was Billy boy at work the other day!!!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/917759_d8fb776a6d_m.jpg

always knew he was hot stuff connie ha ha ha:lol:

[angela5]

http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/rjo0469l.jpg

[connieb19]

Myself and a colleague were talking today about breaking wind :evilIs it ok to break wind at work or are there rules about it?:confused: Would being in a union make any difference?

[Billy Boy]

I know someone who was reported for breaking wind at work because it offended a colleague of his when he was eating his sandwich......thought it was a joke, but it wasnt.....[disgust]

[teuchter]

I really dont think you need to be in a union before you can break wind.
Altho if your in a good union they could probably arrange for you to get a 5 minute fart break per hour, to bring you into line with smokers.

[Billy Boy]

I really dont think you need to be in a union before you can break wind.
Altho if your in a good union they could probably arrange for you to get a 5 minute fart break per hour, to bring you into line with smokers.


some may laugh but i think a 5 minuit let rip break would do everyone the world of good....... maybe not so good for the ozone layer though lol!:lol:

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Folk say eating beans,brussel sprouts,cabbage are the ingredients for a good fart.True,but in ma experience their only good for sound and velocity.

Sugar Puffs,now these are the TRUE meaning of a fart.They make the bottom rip oot yir troosers and to describe the smell would put ye all off yir tea!!! :lol: :lol:

[Billy Boy]

where ever you may be church or chapel, dont be shy just let it rattle.

do you know a fart it the sharpest thing in the world....it can go throught the seat o yer breeks withoot tearing it.....:p

[2little2late]

Me and the wife always play stick it in bed. That is, I fart in bed, we both put our heads under the quilt and see who can stick it the longest. [lol] [lol]

[Tugmistress]

If you didn't let it out you would explode! :eyes:lol:
if you have to, then you have to, it's as simple as that. Luckily my own bodily wind doesn't come out noisily, or very very rarely it has volume and usually no odour either, so i just let it free when i like :D

[connieb19]

Me and the wife always play stick it in bed. That is, I fart in bed, we both put our heads under the quilt and see who can stick it the longest. [lol] [lol]Dosn't she get a turn at the farting?:confused:

[connieb19]

If you didn't let it out you would explode! :eyes:lol:
if you have to, then you have to, it's as simple as that. Luckily my own bodily wind doesn't come out noisily, or very very rarely it has volume and usually no odour either, so i just let it free when i like :DIt's got odour alright!! You're just immune to it...lol[lol]

[2little2late]

Dosn't she get a turn at the farting?:confused:

No, coz mine are better.

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Me and the wife always play stick it in bed. That is, I fart in bed, we both put our heads under the quilt and see who can stick it the longest. [lol] [lol]

:lol: :lol: Must be a popular game jokemeister,cos me and ma wife have a rare time at this too.Its the silent one's that catch ye off guard....yer thinking...oops a backfire and then Whoosh!!!! its like the Alex Fergusons blowdrier treatment....oops!!!fitbaw talk!!!

[young_fishin_neep]

me and farting are like one! i just dont care where i am and if im just on the puter mnding my own buisness i fart away as both mum and davey know!

kaz xx

[angela5]

http://www.clublaugh.com/es-items/776.jpg

[teuchter]

If i was to release my bottom brake and let one go airborne just now, would it be concidard rude because im in company? Could it lead to getting bad rep and a weeks ban? If the answer is no then why cant i do it in the middle of the street? At least there i wouldnt have anounced it first. And never mind beans and sprouts i always find pot noodles cause the most distress for children, small animals and anything else thats to near the release site.

[angela5]

oops! nearly put myself in the .org jail with brandy..chillie and grantyg..it's always wise to double check links.

[Lavenderblue2]

Sorry - but I just couldn't resist this:-


One Wee Scottish Farty ( Tae A Fart )


Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie,

Lurks in yer bellie efter a feastie,
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin.
There starts to stir an enormous wind.


The neeps and tatties and mushy peas,
Start looking like a gentle breeze.
But soon the pudding wi’ the sauncie face
Will hae ye blawin’ a’ ower the place.


Nae matter whit the hell ye dae,
A’body’s gonnae hae tae pay.
Even if ye try tae stifle,
It’s like a bullet oot a rifle.


Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair
Tae try tae stop the leakin’ air
Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Pray tae God it disnae reek.


But a’ the efforts go asunder,
Oot it comes like a clap O’ thunder
Ricochets arrond the room
Michty me! A sonic boom.


God almighty it fairly reeks,
A’ hope a’ huvnae soiled ma breeks
Tae the bog a’ better scurry
Whit the hell, it’s no ma worry.


A’ body roon about me choakin’
One or two are nearly boakin.
I’ll feel better for a while,
Cannae help but raise a smile.



It wis him ! I shout and glower
Alas too late, he’s just keeled ower.
Ye dirty brute! They shout and stare
I’m no that welcome any mair.



Where e’re ye go let yer wind gang free
That sounds jist the joab fir me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie’s party
Ower the sake o’ one wee farty

[krieve]

Vain
You love the smell of your own farts.

Amiable
You love the smell of other people's farts.

Proud
You think your farts are exceptionally fine.

Shy
You release silent farts and then blush.

Impudent
You boldly fart out loud and then laugh.

Anti-Social
When the need arises, you excuse yourself from the room and fart in private.

Strategic
You fart and then conceal it with loud coughing.

Sadistic
You fart in bed and then pull the cover up over your partner's head.

Intellectual
You can determine from the smell of any fart exactly what food item had been consumed.

Athletic
You fart at the slightest exertion.

Miserable
You would love to let one out, but you are unable to fart.

Sensitive
You fart and then start crying.

Unfortunate
You try really hard to fart, but you poop instead.

Scientific
You fart regularly but you're concerned about pollution.

Nervous
You stop in the middle of your fart.

Honest
You admit that you farted but offer good medical reasons.

Dishonest
You far and then blame the dog.

Foolish
You suppress your farts for hours.

Thrifty
You always keep a couple of good farts in reserve.

[krieve]

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known,
To sound just like a song.

Some farts do not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger awhile.

A fart can create
A most-curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, but deadly.

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairies,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of us
Sooner or later.

So be not afraid
Of the invisible gas,
For always remember,
That farts, too, shall pass.

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

In Edinburgh after a night on the tiles.We took one of those glass milk bottles and all took it in turn to fart in it and then put the foil cap on.Twenty farts in all and sealed to perfection.

In the morning the bottle was placed in the kitchen and the top was removed.Nobody had breakfast that morning.

P.S This was a year before the cow tipping.

P.P.S Honestly I have grown up since then or have I?????:evil

[angela5]

In Edinburgh after a night on the tiles.We took one of those glass milk bottles and all took it in turn to fart in it and then put the foil cap on.Twenty farts in all and sealed to perfection.

In the morning the bottle was placed in the kitchen and the top was removed.Nobody had breakfast that morning.

P.S This was a year before the cow tipping.

P.P.S Honestly I have grown up since then or have I?????:evil
http://thumbs.ebaystatic.com/pict/6267723595_0.jpg (http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/MILK-BOTTLE-COVENTRY-FARMERS-DAIRIES-LIMITED_W0QQitemZ6267723595QQcategoryZ10906QQtcZph otoQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem)
Just a wee reminder of your youth cedric:lol:

http://www.lotd.com/Images/xcow87.jpg

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Cheers Angela.:lol: Milk and cows and methane gas.Maybe I should have been a dairy farmer!!:lol:

[angela5]

Cheers Angela.:lol: Milk and cows and methane gas.Maybe I should have been a dairy farmer!!:lol:


[lol] do ya think....
http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/rth0519l.jpg

[lasher]

Has no one noticed since the smoking ban that thepubs stink of farts and BO!!:lol:

[George Brims]

They always did, plus the men's bathrooom. It's just now you can smell them because there isn't the smoke. Perhaps another good consequence of the smoking ban - people will start to shower more! Don't know how they'll stop the farting though...

There are two questions that go through my mind when I hear someone fart in a confined space. Will it smell bad? Will everyone think it was me?

[trinkie]

Can anyone tell me
Does anyone know?
Where does wind come from
Down there below?

I go to a concert
Of Bach or Mozart
Up goes the baton
Out comes a fart

I'm waiting at Heathrow
En route to Belfast
Bend down for my luggage
And let off a fart

I'm playing a bridge hand
The usual stuff
I bid seven diamonds
And suddenly guff

I'm sitting at dinner
With stylish aplomb
I sneeze - the result is
A hydrogen bomb

Can anyone tell me
Does anyone know?
Where does wind come from
And where does it fo ?

With this Thread I really think we have reached the bottom !!
Whatever next ??