Blonde genies

[WickWitch]

A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand.
He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.
Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes.
The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.
The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a golf-course mansion, surrounded by 50 beautiful women.
After he makes love to all of them, he begins to explore this fabulous house.
Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor is covered in $100 bills.
Then, there's a knock at the door.
He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he's dead.
As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods.. It's the two blonde genies.
One blonde genie says to the other one, 'I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to.
I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire.
But why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me.'

[maverick]

wee shuggie is in a bar, when in walks this oriental gent, turns looks at shuggie bows then chops him right in the throat, he looks at shuggie and says " thats a chop from china", wee shuggie picks himself off the floor, then the oriental chap kicks him right in the tatties, shuggie falls to his knees in agony and the oriental says to him " that's a kick from korea", once again shuggie picks himself off the floor and the oriental grabs him and throws him to the other end of the bar next to the door, the oriental says " thats a judo throw from japan", wee shuggie gets himself up off the floor and runs out the door, he returns 20 minutes later walks up to the oriental smack him over the head, turns to the barman and says " see when that wakes up tell him it was a crowbar from B&Q".....