View Full Version : Berks who Air Kiss
Gene Hunt
16-Aug-09, 17:55
Sorry Northener in stealing your thread type but in keeping with the theme of "Berks Who .. " I feel we need to add another category.
Berks who Air Kiss. In particular that double Air Kiss.
What on earth is that about ??, I am currently sitting upstairs after one of my wifes friends arrived. She is one of those women who wears a blouse and fashion scarf every day (why ??), sunglasses in the winter and she reeks of that sickly perfume that makes your eyes water and strips the lining of your throat. When she greets you it is always with that pathetic double air kiss gesture .. Why ?? .. on entering the house she referred to me as "Darling", grabbed me by the shoulders and did the fake double kiss to the air six inches to the left and right of my face.
It was all I could do not to grab HER shoulders, look her in the eyes and say "Im not French. Im not Gay. Stop It or I will kill you with Fire", its just so false. Right now she is sitting downstairs talking with my wife and every second phrase is "Oh you cant be serious", shreiked out at a volume to rival Concorde on take off. I am dying to go downstairs and just say "Yes she is serious. If she wasnt she would say its a joke. And I really mean it about the Fire. Stop It."
I really hate it. Almost as much as that Berk on the mobile phone ad singing "And I need you now tonight .. I need you more than ever", god I want to pee in a water baloon and throw it at him. In fact I bet he air kisses too as he thinks its cool. Which sasy it all really.
Im off to the Pub now. Because at least there no one will think Im a Gay Frenchman and they can actually work out if I am serious or not without asking.
Haha.
That sounds terrible. :lol:
LMAO at your story, Gene! Maybe she'd rather air kiss so she doesn't spread any germs - or perhaps she'd just rather not kiss you at all, LOL! :lol:
If you were any man at all you'd be able to get a well placed headbutt in between the air kisses!
Sorry Northener in stealing your thread type but in keeping with the theme of "Berks Who .. " I feel we need to add another category.
Berks who Air Kiss. In particular that double Air Kiss.
What on earth is that about ??, I am currently sitting upstairs after one of my wifes friends arrived. She is one of those women who wears a blouse and fashion scarf every day (why ??), sunglasses in the winter and she reeks of that sickly perfume that makes your eyes water and strips the lining of your throat. When she greets you it is always with that pathetic double air kiss gesture .. Why ?? .. on entering the house she referred to me as "Darling", grabbed me by the shoulders and did the fake double kiss to the air six inches to the left and right of my face.
It was all I could do not to grab HER shoulders, look her in the eyes and say "Im not French. Im not Gay. Stop It or I will kill you with Fire", its just so false. Right now she is sitting downstairs talking with my wife and every second phrase is "Oh you cant be serious", shreiked out at a volume to rival Concorde on take off. I am dying to go downstairs and just say "Yes she is serious. If she wasnt she would say its a joke. And I really mean it about the Fire. Stop It."
I really hate it. Almost as much as that Berk on the mobile phone ad singing "And I need you now tonight .. I need you more than ever", god I want to pee in a water baloon and throw it at him. In fact I bet he air kisses too as he thinks its cool. Which sasy it all really.
Im off to the Pub now. Because at least there no one will think Im a Gay Frenchman and they can actually work out if I am serious or not without asking.
Maybe she'd rather air kiss so she doesn't spread any germs - or perhaps she'd just rather not kiss you at all, LOL!
Methinks, you have hit the nail on the head Sporran[lol]
Nothing wrong with the continental greeting of a male and female friends kissing cheeks (not air kisses), we Brits are too staid and stuffy as far as i am concerned, my Netherlands friends taught me this habit many years ago, i.e. males shake hands each day they meet and females and males kiss cheeks.
This form of greeting is common all over the world. I personally find nothing wrong with it, and Gene I am neither French or limp wristed [lol]
Kathy@watten
16-Aug-09, 21:52
On receiving an unwanted/unwarrented air kiss you should respond with your own regional greeting be it the eskimo kiss (rub nose vigourously), the glasgow kiss (quick heed butt), or hug for slightly longer and harder than really necessary and think you will find the air kisser may not bother you again! This also works for the hand shakers! good luck!
Sorry Northener in stealing your thread type but in keeping with the theme of "Berks Who .. " I feel we need to add another category.
Berks who Air Kiss. In particular that double Air Kiss.
What on earth is that about ??, I am currently sitting upstairs after one of my wifes friends arrived. She is one of those women who wears a blouse and fashion scarf every day (why ??), sunglasses in the winter and she reeks of that sickly perfume that makes your eyes water and strips the lining of your throat. When she greets you it is always with that pathetic double air kiss gesture .. Why ?? .. on entering the house she referred to me as "Darling", grabbed me by the shoulders and did the fake double kiss to the air six inches to the left and right of my face.
It was all I could do not to grab HER shoulders, look her in the eyes and say "Im not French. Im not Gay. Stop It or I will kill you with Fire", its just so false. Right now she is sitting downstairs talking with my wife and every second phrase is "Oh you cant be serious", shreiked out at a volume to rival Concorde on take off. I am dying to go downstairs and just say "Yes she is serious. If she wasnt she would say its a joke. And I really mean it about the Fire. Stop It."
I really hate it. Almost as much as that Berk on the mobile phone ad singing "And I need you now tonight .. I need you more than ever", god I want to pee in a water baloon and throw it at him. In fact I bet he air kisses too as he thinks its cool. Which sasy it all really.
Im off to the Pub now. Because at least there no one will think Im a Gay Frenchman and they can actually work out if I am serious or not without asking.
The current trend for air kissing doesn't worry me, what does is the thought of British men taking on the custom of an African tribe (I can't recall which one) in which the tribesmen greet by shaking their penis at each other. :eek:
Mwah mwah. :cool:
Lol, I must confess that I air kiss with the French connection of the family. A pet hate of mine is the over dressed, perfume reeking, too much money, white carpets, 2.4 kids plus nanny, showhouse 'daaahhhling ' brigade. Another reason I moved up here.
OOOhhhh i wonder if the lady in question has read this..then you will get an air smack!!
Gene Hunt
17-Aug-09, 08:00
OOOhhhh i wonder if the lady in question has read this..then you will get an air smack!!
She probably has a decent right hook. She is a shrink who likes to play mind games and intimidate people, she thinks she is smarter than everyone else. When I first met her at a Hospital function she attempted to belittle me at the table because I dont work in Medicine. What then followed was me retaliating with what everyone else at the table had thought for a while. Namely that she used to be a man. She has a chin that looks a bit too rough for a woman, knuckles like a street fighter and and an adams apple with movement like a ballcock. Plus the "feminine act" is just a bit too much. We have a "Lady Ga-Ga" situation going on there for sure.
Thats said she is my wifes friend, so I just disappear when she arrives. But she does the "air kissing" and falseness because she knows it annoys me. Whats wrong with a handshake or a good old fashioned hug ??
She is a shrink who likes to play mind games and intimidate people, she thinks she is smarter than everyone else. When I first met her at a Hospital function she attempted to belittle me at the table because I dont work in Medicine.
I know the type, you're not clinical you see!
Namely that she used to be a man. She has a chin that looks a bit too rough for a woman, knuckles like a street fighter and and an adams apple with movement like a ballcock. Plus the "feminine act" is just a bit too much. We have a "Lady Ga-Ga" situation going on there for sure.Adams apple! Deffo a bloke, stick with the headbutt.
Namely that she used to be a man. She has a chin that looks a bit too rough for a woman, knuckles like a street fighter and and an adams apple with movement like a ballcock.
LMAO! Well in that case, perhaps you should be grateful that she only air kisses you, and nothing more!! :lol: [lol]
Gene Hunt
17-Aug-09, 17:48
LMAO! Well in that case, perhaps you should be grateful that she only air kisses you, and nothing more!! :lol: [lol]
Well no one actually knows for sure if she used to be a man. But she looks a LOT like she did. She doesnt get close enough to me to even try to air kiss me, if she did I fear a re-enactment of this piece of cinema gold .. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgOIEGz7o_s
She scares me to be honest.
arana negra
17-Aug-09, 17:58
I am one of them ! well NOT air kisses byt the european two cheek kiss. It is custom here in Spain. My intercambio would be offended as would many spanish if you shunned their friendly greeting.
Gene Hunt
17-Aug-09, 18:11
I am one of them ! well NOT air kisses byt the european two cheek kiss. It is custom here in Spain. My intercambio would be offended as would many spanish if you shunned their friendly greeting.
Its fair enough if you are in a country like Spain where it is the custom, I do believe in going along with the customs of a country you visit. I was in Lisbon not that long ago and two of the female controllers we met did the whole cheek kiss thing. Not my cup of tea but if you are visiting their country its only manners to go along with the custom. Plus they were VERY easy on the eye so it was easy to make the exception.
I just find it weird when people with cockney accents who smell like a cheap perfume factory and have more stubble on their chin than me do it. Its just not right.
Ah Gene you disappoint me! I had you down as a real touchy feely kinda guy who wore their heart on their sleeve and group hugged at every opportunity!;) I have to admit I too am a "kisser" but its not air kisses but real smooches so does that count? :) x
I just find it weird when people with cockney accents who smell like a cheap perfume factory and have more stubble on their chin than me do it. Its just not right.[/quote]
Oooh dear, I have a cockney accent and i wear perfume, but not cheap..........and i like to hug and kiss on the cheek pals and family i haven't seen for a while.
Gene Hunt
18-Aug-09, 09:53
I just find it weird when people with cockney accents who smell like a cheap perfume factory and have more stubble on their chin than me do it. Its just not right.
Oooh dear, I have a cockney accent and i wear perfume, but not cheap..........and i like to hug and kiss on the cheek pals and family i haven't seen for a while.[/quote]
Dont worry. Unless you swim and bathe in cheap perfume and have stubble that a Miami Vice lookalike would be proud of your a long way from scaring me.
Im just 'avin a larf .. ;)
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