View Full Version : Berks buying pies
northener
14-Aug-09, 19:59
I was out shopping today for pies and went into the pie shop to purchase a fine pie.
Imagine my dismay when I got stuck behind some people who were complaining about pies and were taking ages to make their pie purchases.
What is wrong with you people?
Can't you discuss the finer points of pie purchase away from the pie purchasing queue? Hells' teeth, I thought you'd have the nonce to work out which sodding pies you inconsiderate gits were going to buy before getting to the flaming counter! Some of us would like to buy a pie before the ones on display go out of soddin' date, you dozy morons! And stop whingeing about the price, I don't care if it only cost thruppence when Wick was being bombed by the Zeppelins*!
I WANT TO BUY A PIE AT THE GOING RATE FOR PIES TODAY!!!
Pull over and let the sensible pie purchasers get served![mad]
That is all.
* The airships...not the rock band.
I was out shopping today for pies and went into the pie shop to purchase a fine pie.
Imagine my dismay when I got stuck behind some people who were complaining about pies and were taking ages to make their pie purchases.
What is wrong with you people?
Can't you discuss the finer points of pie purchase away from the pie purchasing queue? Hells' teeth, I thought you'd have the nonce to work out which sodding pies you inconsiderate gits were going to buy before getting to the flaming counter! Some of us would like to buy a pie before the ones on display go out of soddin' date, you dozy morons! And stop whingeing about the price, I don't care if it only cost thruppence when Wick was being bombed by the Zeppelins*!
I WANT TO BUY A PIE AT THE GOING RATE FOR PIES TODAY!!!
Pull over and let the sensible pie purchasers get served![mad]
That is all.
* The airships...not the rock band.
That's amusing.
Gene Hunt
14-Aug-09, 20:33
Now Northerner.
The more "experienced" Orgers will soon be along to complain about how "antipiebuyerist" that is. In the meantime though .. crack on. At the speed they drive we have at least another eight hours before they get here.
Anyone taking longer than ten seconds to chose a Pie should be taken to court and given an ASPBO. Thats an Anti Social Pie Buying Order. They are then banned from buying Pies and tagged with a plastic explosive filled tag that detonates on sensing Pastry and Meat. We then pelt them with Ginsters pasties and laugh as they try to avoid instant detonation.
DCI Gene Hunt .. Tough on Pie Crime .. Tough on the Causes of Pie Crime.
NEXT .. Gene will solve the problem of women taking a week to withdraw a tenner at a Cashpoint by installing microphones that tell them they look fat. Bet that makes them speed up.
that's the trouble with the world today... everybody thinks they're a pie expert!
However, laboratory tests have proven that the majority of pie eaters over estimate their knowledge of pies and seriously underestimate their the pie eating abilities. A spokesman from the Advanced School of Pie Eating (ASPE) declared that amateur Pie eating without proper training could leave you with egg on your face, or was that a load of quiche?
Would you like pickle with that sir? [lol]
northener
14-Aug-09, 20:58
Now Northerner.
The more "experienced" Orgers will soon be along to complain about how "antipiebuyerist" that is. In the meantime though .. crack on. At the speed they drive we have at least another eight hours before they get here.
Anyone taking longer than ten seconds to chose a Pie should be taken to court and given an ASPBO. Thats an Anti Social Pie Buying Order. They are then banned from buying Pies and tagged with a plastic explosive filled tag that detonates on sensing Pastry and Meat. We then pelt them with Ginsters pasties and laugh as they try to avoid instant detonation.
DCI Gene Hunt .. Tough on Pie Crime .. Tough on the Causes of Pie Crime.
NEXT .. Gene will solve the problem of women taking a week to withdraw a tenner at a Cashpoint by installing microphones that tell them they look fat. Bet that makes them speed up.
:lol:
that's the trouble with the world today... everybody thinks they're a pie expert!
However, laboratory tests have proven that the majority of pie eaters over estimate their knowledge of pies and seriously underestimate their the pie eating abilities. A spokesman from the Advanced School of Pie Eating (ASPE) declared that amateur Pie eating without proper training could leave you with egg on your face, or was that a load of quiche?
In forty-odd years of pie eating, I have never been left with pie on my face.
My gob's far too big to miss with something the size of a pie......
I was out shopping today for pies and went into the pie shop to purchase a fine pie.
Imagine my dismay when I got stuck behind some people who were complaining about pies and were taking ages to make their pie purchases.
What is wrong with you people?
Can't you discuss the finer points of pie purchase away from the pie purchasing queue? Hells' teeth, I thought you'd have the nonce to work out which sodding pies you inconsiderate gits were going to buy before getting to the flaming counter! Some of us would like to buy a pie before the ones on display go out of soddin' date, you dozy morons! And stop whingeing about the price, I don't care if it only cost thruppence when Wick was being bombed by the Zeppelins*!
I WANT TO BUY A PIE AT THE GOING RATE FOR PIES TODAY!!!
Pull over and let the sensible pie purchasers get served![mad]
That is all.
* The airships...not the rock band.
A plausible story except for one thing-it's a well known fact that only ladies and gay people go shopping, not real men. Time for you to 'fess up!
I'm now also doubting the manliness of DCI Gene Hunt, have you seen those shoes he wears? Nuff said.
[lol]
Now this is just getting silly, pathetic and childish.
You should be ashamed of your behaviour, it's a big world and we need to learn to live with, and amongst each other.
We do not need this sort of churlish behaviour on a very public forum such as this.
Just look at what you're all writing, c'mon, grow up!
ASPE !?
ASPBO !?
For crying out loud!
Now I have a suggestion, it's not going to be easy for some. Some of you are going to have to face up to some big choices and start being honest with yourselves.
Berks Anonymous. A kind of self help group but we could assist externally with electro shock therapy, waterboarding etc.
I'm sure in time we can re introduce these unfortunates back into society.
:cool:
tiggertoo
14-Aug-09, 23:39
http://img199.imageshack.us/img199/483/078copy.jpg
:lol:
Tom Cornwall
14-Aug-09, 23:49
how many people in Wick don't pass the pie shops...does nobody go to the salad bar any more,,,have we got more 'chunky' people per square mile than anywhere else in the country..or is that not true...tell me that I'm wrong...please
A plausible story except for one thing-it's a well known fact that only ladies and gay people go shopping, not real men. Time for you to 'fess up!
I'm now also doubting the manliness of DCI Gene Hunt, have you seen those shoes he wears? Nuff said.
[lol][lol][lol] that made me chutney eh chuckle sir....wink.. cos im only aloud 3 pics
Kevin Milkins
15-Aug-09, 04:31
Who ate all the pies ?:)
I was asked that question by someone I had not met for over twenty years and as we had both put on a bit weight I was quick to reply "we did".:eek::lol:
Do you not feel a little sorry for Sausage Rolls. Not one mention of these poor beasts.
Gene Hunt
15-Aug-09, 09:02
Do you not feel a little sorry for Sausage Rolls. Not one mention of these poor beasts.
HERETIC !! .. GET THE FIRE !! .. GET THE FIRE !!
Thats a naked sausage in a really cheap outfit. Sausage Rolls belong in the same category as mopeds. They are both fun but you wouldnt want your mates to see you with one. A sausage roll eater should avert his eyes and throw himself prostate at feet of a pie eater he sees in the street and pray to the Gods Fray and Bentos for forgiveness. And dont even get me started on Pasties .. they are the devils work.
Have to go now. I am off to confiscate the "inflatable" collection of some bald bloke who slagged off my shoes and questioned my manliness.
Mutton pies cannot hold their heads up against a guid auld Forfar Bridie, would love to walk in to a bakers shop and say "Geis an ingan ane an aw", sadly bakers in the capital have no idea what a good bridie looks or tastes like :(
Mutton pies cannot hold their heads up against a guid auld Forfar Bridie, would love to walk in to a bakers shop and say "Geis an ingan ane an aw", sadly bakers in the capital have no idea what a good bridie looks or tastes like :(
Indeed! But it's the same the country over! Who ever heard of using puff pastry for a bridie. Sacrilege!
The only decent ones are in Farfar. McLarens were a tad superior to Saddlers IMHO. You got a no bad effort as well in Dundee in Wallaces at one time.
Wish I hadn't started this reply now as the sight and taste is with me and cannot now be sated! Pure torture:D
Ginsters.GINSTERS,GINSTERS!
Gene Hunt
15-Aug-09, 12:13
Ginsters.GINSTERS,GINSTERS!
Oh Lizz. For all that is good in the world of tender meat filling and luscious pastry No No and thrice .. No.
If Pies are the force then Ginsters are the dark side. Its not even a Pie, its not even a Pastie. Its a semi profitable way of recycling goat eyelids and donkey entrails. I sense here the presence of the dark forces of the pastie/bridie fanciers attempting to seduce people away from all that is good and holy to the dark side and road to ruin that can only lead to .. *gasp* .. Pastie addiction. Why do you think Ginsters are in every motorway Petrol Station ??, its because those who seek its ruinous presence can do so without being openly mocked by the population. Go and buy a pie and gain redemption, if not you may soon be on the slippery slope to Pot Noodle addiction. Save Yourself !!
Oh and take your time in the Pie Shop. Hopefully Northener will behind you .. ;)
Kevin Milkins
15-Aug-09, 12:39
Whatever hapened to those gadgets that they used to have in the old style cafe's that was a steel pipe that went into the top of the pie and steam came out untill the pie was piping hot?
I am not a big pie fan, (you would not tell that by my shape), but if I were then that is how I would like my steak pie cooked. :Razz
tonkatojo
15-Aug-09, 12:50
Whatever hapened to those gadgets that they used to have in the old style cafe's that was a steel pipe that went into the top of the pie and steam came out untill the pie was piping hot?
I am not a big pie fan, (you would not tell that by my shape), but if I were then that is how I would like my steak pie cooked. :Razz
I havn't seen a steal one but my mother used a bodie/china one to keep the pie crust up on her rabbit pies.
Should all the best scotch pies be only 3.14159265 inches in diameter?:confused:
northener
15-Aug-09, 15:55
Whatever hapened to those gadgets that they used to have in the old style cafe's that was a steel pipe that went into the top of the pie and steam came out untill the pie was piping hot?
I am not a big pie fan, (you would not tell that by my shape), but if I were then that is how I would like my steak pie cooked. :Razz
That's called an expresso coffee machine, Kev. The thing that the steel pipe was being stuck into is called a cup and it contains a substance called coffee. The idea is that the steam heats the coffee and the liquid that is in the cup.
Nothing to do with pies, my deluded Welsh friend.
Cup/pie-pie/cup....easy to confuse the two*.
*if you're Welsh, that is.......;)
northener
15-Aug-09, 15:58
I havn't seen a steal one but my mother used a bodie/china one to keep the pie crust up on her rabbit pies.
Good God, they're all abusing expresso machines.:eek:
Anybody tried steam cleaning their curtains with one?...
Maybe given the cat a fettle prior to going to the vets?
Gene Hunt
15-Aug-09, 16:14
That's called an expresso coffee machine, Kev. The thing that the steel pipe was being stuck into is called a cup and it contains a substance called coffee. The idea is that the steam heats the coffee and the liquid that is in the cup.
Nothing to do with pies, my deluded Welsh friend.
Cup/pie-pie/cup....easy to confuse the two*.
*if you're Welsh, that is.......;)
Hes right you know Kevin.
I got confused when looking for a video called "Two Women, One Pie" and had to rinse my eyes out with Domestos.
And they still feel dirty.
Kevin Milkins
15-Aug-09, 16:41
That's called an expresso coffee machine, Kev. The thing that the steel pipe was being stuck into is called a cup and it contains a substance called coffee. The idea is that the steam heats the coffee and the liquid that is in the cup.
Nothing to do with pies, my deluded Welsh friend.
Cup/pie-pie/cup....easy to confuse the two*.
*if you're Welsh, that is.......;)
So are you telling me they did not use them to heat up a pie? :confused
And yes I am Welsh.:D
northener
15-Aug-09, 18:22
So are you telling me they did not use them to heat up a pie? :confused
.:D
Maybe in the darker Pagan corners of the Blitish Isles someone gained access to an Expresso machine without seeing it in operation. One could assume that the close proximity of a couple of cold pies lead to some experimentation. I'm just glad no-one tried to find out if it was any good for keeping sheep warm.........
But it's just not right, Kevin. It's like seeing someone wearing a stetson who obviously isn't American....wierd.
Ginsters are the devil's work,pastry that's flakey and soggy,minced heaven knows what and not even crimped proper,sold to the unsuspecting and ignorant who would not recognise a proper oggie if it fell out of the sky and clippered 'em one.
Right me 'andsomes I be of to make a girt big tiddy oggie an' an even girter Star Gazey Pie.
Personally, I liked the pies they used to sell at Starks Park in Cowdenbeath.
Booby-trapped they were; the trick was to nip off a bit of the base and let the hot fat run out onto the ground.
Saved you getting scalded!:lol:
how many people in Wick don't pass the pie shops...does nobody go to the salad bar any more,,,have we got more 'chunky' people per square mile than anywhere else in the country..or is that not true...tell me that I'm wrong...please
well I do no often go shopping but my goodness when I went to Tescos the other day, yes there is a lot of chunky people so they must all be on the pies but saying that I was in Inverness last weekend and the same could be said about people there so they too must have good pie shops..
assinpoon
15-Aug-09, 20:31
Mutton pies cannot hold their heads up against a guid auld Forfar Bridie, would love to walk in to a bakers shop and say "Geis an ingan ane an aw", sadly bakers in the capital have no idea what a good bridie looks or tastes like :(
Ha! Yeah, I once asked for a Johnston's pie in Gregg's in Bruntsfield! Got a strange look before realising what I'd said!! :lol:
that's the trouble with the world today... everybody thinks they're a pie expert!
However, laboratory tests have proven that the majority of pie eaters over estimate their knowledge of pies and seriously underestimate their the pie eating abilities. A spokesman from the Advanced School of Pie Eating (ASPE) declared that amateur Pie eating without proper training could leave you with egg on your face, or was that a load of quiche?
Are you sure it shouldn't be the Advanced Pie Eating School?? ie APES:lol:
Powered by vBulletin® Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.