View Full Version : MWAAHAHA - meow
Signs your cat is planning world domination:
Sits on your newspaper in the morning and carefully reads the coded message that Garfield sends out every day.
Used to sleep on top of TV, now monitors CNN 24 hours a day.
Notably absent from home during surprise feline invasion of Poland.
When you enter the room, Snowball and the other members of the Tri-Cateral Commission stop talking and begin playing with yarn.
Behind the couch you find a forged passport, plane tickets, and a bomb-making kit
Well, *somebody* subscribed to alt.cats.world.domination.
Autopsy of the last mouse left on your doormat reveals "tattoo" to be blueprint of the UN Building.
Constantly petting that bald man he keeps on his lap.
Kitty Chow spilled on the floor spells out "Drop the car keys and leave the door open or the dog gets it in the head."
Then -- dead mice in the kitchen. Now -- dead third world dictators in the basement.
Judging from the kitchen, he seems to be working on some kind of "land mine" technology.
Fluffy is now sleeping only 21 hours a day, down from 23.
Has recently been acting somewhat... aloof.
What your cat lacks in charisma and good looks, he makes up for with his ruthless handling of rival software companies.
Somehow, you're now subscribed to "Pussy of Fortune" magazine.
heh heh!
Yawn... not another cat thread:(
Bill Fernie
24-Mar-06, 08:48
Not for nothing was Caithness apparently peopled by the ancient "Catti" or People of the Cat. Maybe there is someting in the water.
Perhaps someone can point to the references as I cannot find them on the web.
Here on Caithness.org another description - but no Catti as People of the Cat - from
HISTORIC CASTLES AND FAMILIES OF THE NORTH
Ackergill Tower - the Keiths and Dunbars of Hempriggs
by D B Miller
http://www.caithness.org/caithness/castles/ackergill/historicfamiliesackergill.htm
"Regarding the genealogy of the Keiths, there is an ancient tradition that they came to Scotland from the province of Hesse in Germany, original home of the "Catti", until they were conquered by the legions of Rome.. "Landing in the north of Scotland, they gave the name of Caithness to the territory they settled, land of the Catti. Their chief married the daughter of the Pictish king Brude. Robert, the chief of the Catti, in 1010 fought against the Norsemen and slew Comus, the leader of the invaders, and thus gained a complete victory for which Malcolm II gave the lands of Keith in East Lothian (Keith - British "Caith", "confined" or a "narrow", such as a channel hemmed in by steep banks) from which they took their surname."
It would be interesting to hear from any historians if there is any substance to the references occasionally made in articles to the Catti as "People Of The Cat" in connection with Caithness's ancient period. I have read it somewhere but cannot at the moment recall exactly where.
Yawn... not another cat thread:(
I'm with you Chillie,
A small plea to those from above, may I humbly suggest that you open a new category in the forums front page, exclusively for those who love cats.
Thay really need to have their own space that the rest of us can avoid. [mad]
knightofeth
24-Mar-06, 10:12
I thought it was funny :)
crashbandicoot1979
24-Mar-06, 10:19
I think its funny too.....but then I love cats :)
The Angel Of Death
24-Mar-06, 10:28
Yawn... not another cat thread:(
A small plea to those from above, may I humbly suggest that you open a new category in the forums front page, exclusively for those who love cats.
Thay really need to have their own space that the rest of us can avoid. [mad]
Simply put if you dont want to read the thread dont click on the link its really that easy
Simply put, if you don't want to read the thread, don't click on the link, it's really that easy
Gosh, why didn't I think of that.
Gosh, why didn't I think of that.
Me Too, I wrote a funny true story onthe dead cat in Girnigoe street but this was scrubbed.:~(
Niall Fernie
24-Mar-06, 17:53
Chillie & DW, perhaps you should spend a little more time starting threads on topics you do wish to discuss rather than complaining about the topics of interest to other people.
Chillie & DW, perhaps you should spend a little more time starting threads on topics you do wish to discuss rather than complaining about the topics of interest to other people.
Well said!!!
Well said!!!
I'll second that!:lol:
I thought it was cute! One of my cats lies on the newspaper, but I've never really seen her reading it! Lol!!
Yawn... not another cat thread:(
Whats wrong chillie.....no like cats then....shame
Very funny. Thanks for sharing that!
PS: you don' wanna read it then don':evil
hee hee how funny (I thought the "meow" in the title was a BIG clue for the non-cat people - so they could avoid it!) ah well, obviously I was being far too subtle - apologies - btw DW, my cat knows where you live....
ok i couldn't resist it - I found this hilarious! btw I reckon the dog one is funnier!!
"Cat Haiku"
You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.
You *must* scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.
The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.
Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.
Blur of motion, then --
Silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?
You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.
My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.
Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a 'term paper?'
Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner.
I want to be close
to you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?
Wanna go outside.
Oh, crap! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!
Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!
Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams.
My claws are not that sharp.
Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!"
The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
Time for "Cup Hockey."
In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomit hair ball somewhere
Will find in morning.
We're almost equals
I purr to show I love you.
Want to smell my butt?
"Dog Haiku"
I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.
I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be
Today I sniffed
Many dog butts - I celebrate
By kissing your face.
I sound the alarm!
Paperboy - come to kill us all -
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend - come to kill us all -
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I sound the alarm!
Meter reader - come to kill all -
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I sound the alarm!
Garbage man - come to kill all -
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat - come to kill all!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I lift my leg and
Wiz on each bush. Hello, Spot -
Sniff this and weep.
How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.
I hate my choke chain -
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!
Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot - no greater bliss - well,
Maybe catching cats.
Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do.
Dig under fence - why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.
My owners' mood is
Romantic - I lie near their
Feet. I blow a big one.
:o) Thanks for that Elaine; I love Haiku.
Ann
hee hee how funny (I thought the "meow" in the title was a BIG clue for the non-cat people - so they could avoid it!) ah well, obviously I was being far too subtle - apologies - btw DW, my cat knows where you live....
Excellent, my exceedingly crabbit dog loves cats, she just can't eat a whole one at once :Razz
Excellent, my exceedingly crabbit dog loves cats, she just can't eat a whole one at once :Razz
awww I think you LOVE cats really - look, here you are, still reading this thread...
p.s. my cat can out-smart your dog any day, in fact I think I can hear him singing "come and 'ave a go if you think you're hard enough" he's a right little ned - don't mess with him!!
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