View Full Version : Your Perfect Public House? You tell it as it is!
I would like my perfect pub to have...
A pool table and dartboard
Reasonable prices, no rip off stuff
Genuine artifacts being displayed of the area.
Food served but of a standard that it doesn't displace the quality of the drink.
A barman that has room under the bar for everything that gets exchanged, a bit like a 'stationary DHL'.[lol]
Low ceiling so that the craic carries
No tv
No coffee
A landlord that will not agree with everything I say just because he is frightened that he will scare me away. I might want to buy another drink to argue my case!
Fellow customers that have done everything and know everyone.
A dog that sleeps all the time by a rip roaring fire.
A sticky carpet
Clean toilets but with humorous graffitti.
Music on a Saturday from a band that I can honestly say in 20 years that I've seen them in concert.
Not asking for much else. Have I missed anything?
A Ideal world but sadly no more Rheg
I like courteous bar staff that actually know what they are doing and not robotic and can actually hold a conversation with the punter instead of punching a keyboard
Bar meals at a good price well cooked and presented not going with the flow of healthy living after all its a treat and a day out for many and its gonna get fewer allegedly
background music maybe but not in your face bands or kareoke
Fire sounds nice crackling in the foreground or back ground maybe roast a piglet or 2 alas another world lol
I like the old local photos in the Comm and the park, I think they used to have some in Top Joes. The photos of the old and deceased regulars in the St Clair was a nice touch.
When training in Gosport I loved the English pub meals, giant plates stacked with food so high it couldn't make them any money. They did that to get you in to drink. You don't seem to get that in Scotland, certainly not Caithness.
Oh,
and no kids!
'Family friendly' is okay for a lounge bar, not for a pub.
teenybash
01-Jul-09, 00:14
My ideal pub would be...............
A rich mahogony bar that gleamed with a well stocked gantry , brass topped pumps polished and gleaming. A fire burning brightly with soft comfy chairs with the cat curled up beside a big peat basket and a dog that welcomed everyone with a wagging tail.
Home cooked proper food and snacks, served with a smile and a warm word.....A smoking room for those who enjoy a cigarette and an old piano for a bit of a sing song and a big welcome for musicians to crack away and lift the roof....................:Razz
Kevin Milkins
01-Jul-09, 00:18
A decent pint of beer would be top of the list for me. :Razz
A decent pint of beer would be top of the list for me. :Razz
Can you tell us what that may be? Lager, bitter, mild, keg, cask, real ale etc?:D
Dog-eared
01-Jul-09, 00:47
Young bar staff who can actually check around occasionally for who needs a drink would be good ! :lol:
Lolabelle
01-Jul-09, 03:33
Good Food
Good Service
Good Coffee is essential as I don't drink alcohol and need something to occupy while my companions get their fill [lol]
Female barstaff that are easy on the eye. :cool:
arana negra
01-Jul-09, 08:00
Clean toilet complete with toilet tissue.
Open fire kept lit and stoked not an empty dismal dirty hole ! Comfy chairs and tables at the right height to eat at, hate being bent double to eat a low table.
Attentive bar staff that want your company as well as your money, who serve a good range of drinks and great coffee. I like to finsh my evenings with a coffee and liquer sometimes.
Soothing background music or good live band/singer. I miss live music.
NO TV NO SPORTS 'DISCUSSIONS' NO CHILDREN and sorry NO SMOKING it makes me cry/choke and not smell nice. They can all have a room of their own.
Over 25 year olds only
No juke box,
No tv
No Football Colours
A beer garden with heaters
A separate Darts/Domino/Cribbage Room
Comfortable seating
A good selection of draught Beers and Lagers with the occasional Guest Ale
A good selection of snacks and cheap and cheerful food.
Bar Staff who are well trained, and as Jox's mentioned good to the eye :D
No local so called musicians
Clean Toilets
Kevin Milkins
01-Jul-09, 09:59
Can you tell us what that may be? Lager, bitter, mild, keg, cask, real ale etc?:D
When I lived in the Midlands My favourite tipple was a pint of Bank's Mild brewed at Chappel Ash in Wolverhampton as it was a easy and pleasent pint to drink and still felt Ok to go to work the next day.
When I lived in South Wales, Worthington’s Crème Flow became my favourite for the same reason ( If you had one too many you were still Ok for work) although I did have a dabble with Brains SA beer, but they don’t call it skull attack for nothing.
I also have a taste for cask ale, but it is a tricky road to go down as if you are not sure of your beers it is easy to end up with wobbly legs.
I was digging a grave at a little village called Wistanstow a few miles from Craven Arms in rural Shropshire and the digging was easy so completed the job in double quick time.
I had over two hours to kill so having had a walk around the church and grave yard I decided to have a bit of lunch in the village pub (which just happens to brew there own beer).
It was a lovely summers day so a ploughman’s lunch and a pint of parish ale seemed like the best choice, but my mistake was the beer was so nice I had a second one.
My next recollection was the funeral director banging on the window of my pick up to tell me the funeral was over and I could complete my duties.
I find it hard to get a consistent pint of beer in Wick as it doesn’t seem to be a favoured drink in these parts, but Wetherspoons IPA is good.
The Wood Brewery, Shropshire, UK - home of the Shropshire Lad ... (http://www.woodbrewery.co.uk/news.htm)
bobbyrussell09
01-Jul-09, 10:55
for my ideal pub,i would have a copy o the louden in glasgow,nice rangers bar,with players past an present on the wall.obviously it would b bigger with big tvs an pool table,darts board ,an have the barmaids going bout in nice gers tops,ahh heaven:lol:
tonkatojo
01-Jul-09, 12:03
My ideal pub would be...............
A rich mahogony bar that gleamed with a well stocked gantry , brass topped pumps polished and gleaming. A fire burning brightly with soft comfy chairs with the cat curled up beside a big peat basket and a dog that welcomed everyone with a wagging tail.
Home cooked proper food and snacks, served with a smile and a warm word.....A smoking room for those who enjoy a cigarette and an old piano for a bit of a sing song and a big welcome for musicians to crack away and lift the roof....................:Razz
Aye we can but dream TB, the present government and past ones have seen to that.
tonkatojo
01-Jul-09, 12:07
When I lived in the Midlands My favourite tipple was a pint of Bank's Mild brewed at Chappel Ash in Wolverhampton as it was a easy and pleasent pint to drink and still felt Ok to go to work the next day.
When I lived in South Wales, Worthington’s Crème Flow became my favourite for the same reason ( If you had one too many you were still Ok for work) although I did have a dabble with Brains SA beer, but they don’t call it skull attack for nothing.
I also have a taste for cask ale, but it is a tricky road to go down as if you are not sure of your beers it is easy to end up with wobbly legs.
I was digging a grave at a little village called Wistanstow a few miles from Craven Arms in rural Shropshire and the digging was easy so completed the job in double quick time.
I had over two hours to kill so having had a walk around the church and grave yard I decided to have a bit of lunch in the village pub (which just happens to brew there own beer).
It was a lovely summers day so a ploughman’s lunch and a pint of parish ale seemed like the best choice, but my mistake was the beer was so nice I had a second one.
My next recollection was the funeral director banging on the window of my pick up to tell me the funeral was over and I could complete my duties.
I find it hard to get a consistent pint of beer in Wick as it doesn’t seem to be a favoured drink in these parts, but Wetherspoons IPA is good.
The Wood Brewery, Shropshire, UK - home of the Shropshire Lad ... (http://www.woodbrewery.co.uk/news.htm)
Memories , Mine is of Newcastle IPA or Vaux gold tankard but keeping off the Newcastle broon ale.
The local pub in our village in East Lothian used to have a hexagonal pool table. Every pub should have one!:D
The local pub in our village in East Lothian used to have a hexagonal pool table. Every pub should have one!:D
One of the pubs close to my work has a round pool table.
No one mentioned the proverbial bar party pooper.
Just when the cracks getting good and Rhegheads romantic notion that bars dont sell drugs that directly kill at least 8 people every day in Scotland, not to mention the dozens, maybe hundreds perhaps thousands who are victims of alcohol abuse every day and every night both in their homes and in these cosy bars and of course outside those cosy bars, in comes someone whose had a drink too much in the unmentionable bar down the road. All hell breaks loose, Rheghead gets stabbed in the heart whilst poor Golach gets a glass in the chops and poor Annes new summer frock gets covered in Joxes blood who in his haste to save the barmaid gets a shot in the mouth from Golach who had a few too much and didnt realise it wasnt jox who glassed him.
Just telling it as it could be.
Lets have another one though.
Poor Rheghead he never harmed anyone. RIP.
No one mentioned the proverbial bar party pooper.
Just when the cracks getting good and Rhegheads romantic notion that bars dont sell drugs that directly kill at least 8 people every day in Scotland, not to mention the dozens, maybe hundreds perhaps thousands who are victims of alcohol abuse every day and every night both in their homes and in these cosy bars and of course outside those cosy bars, in comes someone whose had a drink too much in the unmentionable bar down the road. All hell breaks loose, Rheghead gets stabbed in the heart whilst poor Golach gets a glass in the chops and poor Annes new summer frock gets covered in Joxes blood who in his haste to save the barmaid gets a shot in the mouth from Golach who had a few too much and didnt realise it wasnt jox who glassed him.
Just telling it as it could be.
Lets have another one though.
Poor Rheghead he never harmed anyone. RIP.
LMAO, LOL etc.:lol:
No one mentioned the proverbial bar party pooper.
Just when the cracks getting good and Rhegheads romantic notion that bars dont sell drugs that directly kill at least 8 people every day in Scotland, not to mention the dozens, maybe hundreds perhaps thousands who are victims of alcohol abuse every day and every night both in their homes and in these cosy bars and of course outside those cosy bars, in comes someone whose had a drink too much in the unmentionable bar down the road. All hell breaks loose, Rheghead gets stabbed in the heart whilst poor Golach gets a glass in the chops and poor Annes new summer frock gets covered in Joxes blood who in his haste to save the barmaid gets a shot in the mouth from Golach who had a few too much and didnt realise it wasnt jox who glassed him.
Just telling it as it could be.
Lets have another one though.
Poor Rheghead he never harmed anyone. RIP.
It was believable up to the point of Golach smacking me in the chops....I didn't think he could move that fast. [lol]
No one mentioned the proverbial bar party pooper.
Just when the cracks getting good and Rhegheads romantic notion that bars dont sell drugs that directly kill at least 8 people every day in Scotland, not to mention the dozens, maybe hundreds perhaps thousands who are victims of alcohol abuse every day and every night both in their homes and in these cosy bars and of course outside those cosy bars, in comes someone whose had a drink too much in the unmentionable bar down the road. All hell breaks loose, Rheghead gets stabbed in the heart whilst poor Golach gets a glass in the chops and poor Annes new summer frock gets covered in Joxes blood who in his haste to save the barmaid gets a shot in the mouth from Golach who had a few too much and didnt realise it wasnt jox who glassed him.
Just telling it as it could be.
Lets have another one though.
Poor Rheghead he never harmed anyone. RIP.
Your banned for upsetting customers.
Kevin Milkins
01-Jul-09, 18:31
No one mentioned the proverbial bar party pooper.
Just when the cracks getting good and Rhegheads romantic notion that bars dont sell drugs that directly kill at least 8 people every day in Scotland, not to mention the dozens, maybe hundreds perhaps thousands who are victims of alcohol abuse every day and every night both in their homes and in these cosy bars and of course outside those cosy bars, in comes someone whose had a drink too much in the unmentionable bar down the road. All hell breaks loose, Rheghead gets stabbed in the heart whilst poor Golach gets a glass in the chops and poor Annes new summer frock gets covered in Joxes blood who in his haste to save the barmaid gets a shot in the mouth from Golach who had a few too much and didnt realise it wasnt jox who glassed him.
Just telling it as it could be.
Lets have another one though.
Poor Rheghead he never harmed anyone. RIP.
Nar/ I would have done a pre emptive strike on the party pooper with a rugby tackle to the ground and disarmed him in a flash.
With the old bill taking the baddy off to jail it would have been drinks all round and a good time was had by all.:Razz
No one mentioned the proverbial bar party pooper.
Just when the cracks getting good and Rhegheads romantic notion that bars dont sell drugs that directly kill at least 8 people every day in Scotland, not to mention the dozens, maybe hundreds perhaps thousands who are victims of alcohol abuse every day and every night both in their homes and in these cosy bars and of course outside those cosy bars, in comes someone whose had a drink too much in the unmentionable bar down the road. All hell breaks loose, Rheghead gets stabbed in the heart whilst poor Golach gets a glass in the chops and poor Annes new summer frock gets covered in Joxes blood who in his haste to save the barmaid gets a shot in the mouth from Golach who had a few too much and didn't realise it wasn't jox who glassed him.
Just telling it as it could be.
Lets have another one though.
Poor Rheghead he never harmed anyone. RIP.
Gleeber, you have been around too many Caithness drinking dens, our fictitious pub is meant to be the perfect bar, the staff would ensure that nothing such as your scenario, would ever occur.
As for your idea that pubs would be a haven for junkies and drug dealers, I don't think so, a wee spray with WD40 on all the usual ledges in the toilets soon stops them snorting white powder up their noses, maybe a tip to Caithness bar owners [lol]
It was believable up to the point of Golach smacking me in the chops....I didn't think he could move that fast. [lol]
When hell breaks loose (Gleebers words) Golach can move very fast, out the door, but Nah none of it is believable, all in Gleebers mind.[lol]
I'll not be far behind you Gol......I'm a lover, not a fighter.:cool:
Gleeber, you have been around too many Caithness drinking dens, our fictitious pub is meant to be the perfect bar, the staff would ensure that nothing such as your scenario, would ever occur.
As for your idea that pubs would be a haven for junkies and drug dealers, I don't think so, a wee spray with WD40 on all the usual ledges in the toilets soon stops them snorting white powder up their noses, maybe a tip to Caithness bar owners [lol]
Since when has alcohol not been a drug? [evil]
Since when has alcohol not been a drug? [evil]
Selling acholol is not illegal, selling drugs is!!! end of.
Chobbersjnr
01-Jul-09, 20:32
Selling acholol is not illegal, selling drugs is!!! end of.
legal or not alcohol is a drug. Statement of fact. End of. & is sold by the gallon reducing people (quite often) to nasty violent entities that are not nice to be around. That is a direct result of people inbibing the drug alcahol.
my perfect public house, nope I'd rather not at the moment TBH
Selling acholol is not illegal, selling drugs is!!! end of.
I repeat, since when has alcohol not been a drug?
Get back to the bar chaps and buy another round.
A god pub should have: -
Good beer with areal ale choice as well
No food!!! That is for hotels and resteurants
Courteous staff who can join in the banter
A good smoking area protecting you from the worst of the elements
Clientele from all walks of life
A coal fire for wintery nights would be good
A policy of ejecting undesirables or even the good guys who have gone over the top
The Comm in Thurso is getting there:)
Are you thinking of opening your own pub, Rheghead? ;)
If so, would you call it The Rheg Head, The Rheg's Head, Rheggers' Rest, or something of that ilk? ;)
I like those old fashioned Victorian style pubs. Dark wood bar and panelling on the walls, ornate ceiling, etc. Something with character and atmosphere. :cool:
I'd like to open a pub in Reay, it sorely needs one. Perhaps a village consortium might do something? I don't know what it should be called, perhaps the The Hot Spot?? :) The local plan for Reay suggests I'd get planning support for a pub build/conversion.
Green_not_greed
02-Jul-09, 12:30
More like "The Windmill"!
Whatever its called, I would certainly be an occasional customer.
And a more regular one if Selby or Jennings beer is offered.....
GNG
bobbyrussell09
02-Jul-09, 14:05
I would also like to see a place up here like the woolpack,its always busy an there always some juicey gossip:lol:
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