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Cedric Farthsbottom III
17-Jun-09, 20:32
The Bricklayers Song by Pat Cooksey
based on the Bricklayers Lament by Gerard Hoffnung


Dear Sir I write this note to you,to tell you of my plight
For of the time of writing it,I'm not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue,my face a deathly grey
And I write this note to say,why I am not in work today


Whilst working on the 14th floor,some bricks I had to clear
But tossing them down from such a height,was not a good idea
The Foreman wasn't very pleased,he is an awkward sod
And he said I had to cart them down,the ladders in my hod


Clearing all these bricks by hand,it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrell and secured a rope below
But in my haste to do the job,I was too blind to see
That a barrell full of building bricks was heavier than me


And so when I untied the rope,the barrell fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope,I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket and to my dismay I found
That halfway up I met,the bloody barrell coming down


Well the barrell broke my shoulder and to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top,I banged the pulley with my head
I clung on tightly none the less,with shock from this almighty blow
While the barrell spilled out half its bricks,some fourteen floors below


When these bricks had fallen,from the barrell to the floor
I then outweighed the barrell and started down once more
But I clung on tightly to the rope,my body racked with pain
And halfway down I met the bloody barrell once again


Now the force of the collision,halfway down the office block
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty case of shock
But I clung on tightly to the rope,as I fell towards the ground
And landed on the broken bricks,the barrell had scattered round


Now as I lay there on the ground,I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrell hit the pulleywheel and then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me,I didn't have a hope
As I lay their bleeding on the ground,I let go the bloody rope


The barrell now being heavier,so started down once more
It landed right across me,as I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say
I hope you understand why I am not at work today:lol::lol:

wifie
17-Jun-09, 22:21
Always liked that one . . . very funny! [lol]

porshiepoo
18-Jun-09, 08:17
That song has always been hilarious! It's so much better with the tune and singer though.

Take a listen to Ray Stevens and 'The Streak' too - ruddy hilarious!

Invisible
18-Jun-09, 20:14
I love the corries version of this!