Caithness Crack

[highlander]

A crofter from Stirkoke, with the reputation of being a poor man on the sythe, was cutting oats of the and leaving a rather long stubble.
"how am i doan Willie?". he asked his neighbour
"NO bad for a first cut!" came the dry answer.
.................................................. .................................................. ....An old man had taken a large dram in lybster and failed to walk the three miles to his croft. He paused for a rest and fell asleep by an old bridge. He awoke, cold and shivering, looked over the parapet of the bridge and exclaimed on seeing the moons reflection in the water. "hell! If thats the moon, where am I?"
.................................................. .................................................
In the 1930s a widower crofters only daughter went to work in London. Some years later she returned, having saved some money and insisted that a bathroom be installed. She also insisted that father boil his herrrings in the barn.
"Lassie, what an unhygienic lot they must be doon ere: makin thier food ootside and doin thier business in the hoose!"
.................................................. .................................................. .

[highlander]

Just after the lurid painting on the Atomic Energy Authoritys Superannuation Office in Thurso was completed, a passing skorrie christened it.
"That seems a fair artistic comment," exclaimed a local.
.................................................. .................................................. ....
A rather foosum wifie was making soup on a open hearth fire which had a large heap of peats drying on either side. As she was stirring the pot a lump of peat dropped into the soup. She continued stirring, regardless, untill her agitated neighbour commented.
"Did you not see that fall into the soup?"
"Aye, but it come to the surface when it boils."
.................................................. .................................................. ...
A doctors wife, a fitness fanatic, was jogging through Wick in a scanty pair of shorts, covered by her long T/shirt. An astonised elderly local shook her head and remarked.
"Its coman till it when the doctors wife runs roond the toon wi nothin on but her semit.

[tommy1979]

:confused::confused::confused:

[The Pepsi Challenge]

I'm nit-picking. It's 'craic'.

[highlander]

I know pepsi, but thats how its spelt on the cover of the book

[lasher]

I'm nit-picking. It's 'craic'.
I always use the word crack, craic is an irish word.:eyes

[golach]

I always use the word crack, craic is an irish word.:eyes

I'm with you on this one
The "CRAIC" pronounced "crack" is an Irish expression for good, fun conversation amongst equals, "the gift of the gab", "the Blarney", good story-telling and conversation with plenty of music and laughter. This is the main focus of Irish social life today and it has its roots in their most ancient Celtic ancestry and their continuing determination to maintain "inner" freedom
Maybe that explains your soccer leanings Pepsi [lol]

[gleeber]

A Caithness woman, newly widowed, took her nephew through to where her dead husband was in on display in his coffin. When they were standing over the coffin the poor women commented to the nephew "Is he no lookan weel"

[connieb19]

A Caithness woman, newly widowed, took her nephew through to where her dead husband was in on display in his coffin. When they were standing over the coffin the poor women commented to the nephew "Is he no lookan weel"I believe that is a true story...I've heard people say it myself...lol[lol]

[Ann]

Years ago, the "Man from the Pru" had to visit a recently widowed wifie to discuss the insurance payout.

On enquiring what was the cause of death, the reply came "Och, hid wis nothing serious"!

[willowbankbear]

Chap from wick emigrated to Australia many years ago & would send letters home every month saying how well he was doing & that it was another `feather in my cap dad`.

So after 2-3 years the truth began to come out that ex-weeker was really really struggling & soon to be becoming homeless, Obviously he was homesick to so he phoned his parents up & said `Dad can ye send me the money so that I can fly home?`. To which the wily old boy replied `No son, see all those feathers ye stuck in yer cap? take them ,put them in yer rear end and fly home!!`[lol]

[Ann]

In years long past, every owner had to have a licence for his dog, the only exception being a working one.

A farmer called at the local farmers' store, parked his truck outside and left the dog sitting in the driver's seat.

Said dog knocked the handbrake off, truck ran into a set of wooden pallets breaking some, store owner made a claim against the farmer, farmer had to complete a form in which one of the questions was "did the driver have a licence?"

The farmer replied "dog in driver's seat, no licence required, working dog!"

[highlander]

In south-east Caithness a haircut was frequently called a "poll". When news of the proposed "poll-tax" was broken to a Latheron pensioner, he exclaimed,
"It no affect me, ah m bald."
.................................................. .................................................. ...A lady, up at Scrabster for the sea angling, went out to fish in a vessel which,unknown to her, had no mod cons. Some hours later, on thier way back to port, she told the skipper she needed the toilet. "O.K.." he replied, I"ll slow doon a bit!"
.................................................. .................................................. ....A lybster man was up in court for killing a cow on the Camster road.
"What speed were you doing?" asked the sherriff

[highlander]

Opps dont know what happened there on my last post, but heres the full story lol
A lybster man was up in court for killing a cow on the Camster road.
"What speed were you doing?" asked the sherriff
"20 m.p.h ..... your honour".
"surely our would need a collision of at least 50 m.p.h. to kill the animal, dont you think?"
"well in that case, the coo must have been doing 30 when i was doan 20"