Bono from U2

[Rheghead]

Bono is on stage giving it his all when he asks the capacity crowd for silence. Slowly to rapt silence from the audience, he begins clapping his hands and says into the microphone: 'Every time I clap my hands a child in Africa dies.'

A voice from near the front shouts up: 'Well bloody stop it then!!'

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

At the same concert,Cliff Richard joined them on stage.Bono got so excited he jumped onto Cliff Richards shoulders.

A fan fae the audience shouts out,"Bono watch yirsel on top of the Cliff,yer standing to close to The Edge.".....boom-boom!!!:lol:

[wifie]

I wasn't gonna comment on you two - but I must! I am . . . SPEECHLESS! [lol]

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

U2 walked into a bar,Bono says to the other guys,"Dae ye fancy a dram?".The rest of the guys say maybe just the 'One'.

[wifie]

OK Ced - get them all out of yer system! You will feel better - I will listen if no-one else will! In fact lie down here on my nice comfy couch and tell me all about it!

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Bono has a cough,he's not gonnae make it to the next U2 gig at the Wick Assembly Rooms.Larry turns to Adam and says we could always use a blow up doll,put some funny sunglasses on it.Adam says are you sure it will work.Larry says No problem at all,its even better than the real thing!!!!

[wifie]

Well done Cedric - let it all out - yer doin very well! (wifie crosses her legs, adjusts her glasses and takes notes)

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Larry and The Edge were walking up Smith Terrace towards the Assembly Rooms for the Wick gig.A wifie was going down the middle of the road balancing a ball on her nose and rollerskating.Larry says did ye see that,The Edge says just keep walking these Wick women move in Mysterious Ways.

[wifie]

Wifie looks at her watch - this session could go into overtime! :roll:

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Larry and the Edge get to the Assembly Rooms for the gig.Larry notices that the sign has been blanked out.He turns to the Edge and says why is the sign blanked out.The Edge says Ach its these Caithness folk,they liked their English name signs,but others wanted them in gaelic.The Highland Council took the huff,so blanked out all the signs.Larry says so whit Wick is a place Where the Streets Have No Name.:lol:

[wifie]

[lol] Wifie frantically tries to compose herself - this affliction must be catching - she must persevere for human kind!

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Larry and the Edge finally get inside the Assembly Rooms.They see that Adam is looking very worried.The Edge asks him why he's running around like a headless chicken.Adam says its that blowup doll Bono,I have lost the bicycle pump.Larry says to Adam,ach so ye still haven't found what yer looking for.

[wifie]

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz oh oh sorry - now where were we? Oh yes do carry on Cedric - yer doin very well! :roll:

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Ach thats fine.I feel better now.Always good to get something oot yer system.Cheers wifie.;)

[wifie]

Thank you Cedric! Now my diagnosis is . . . . . .

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Wifie,don't say its U2-titis.Thats what my last doctor said.I came to ye in good faith for a second opinion.:lol::lol:

[wifie]

No no Cedric - you have a Bono-fide illness - I will explain it to you in due course!

[wifie]

It is like this - deep down inside you feel an Unforgettable Fire - inside yer brain you feel a Rattle and Hum - every day you wake up and shout Sunday Bloody Sunday - the saddest but maybe Sweetest Thing is that you Still Haven't Found What You Are Looking For but the only cure for you my man can be found by sitting underneath The Joshua Tree. If this doesn't help take two paracetamol and keep reading the Org! [lol]

[Bazeye]

Ceedric and Wifie, shut up U2.