View Full Version : Swine Flu Humour
The Angel Of Death
05-May-09, 17:34
Borrowed from another forum far to good / funny not to pass on
I have an ear infection so went up the docs to get some anti biotics. As I knocked on the door for some reason I started coughing, must have swallowed the wrong way or something. I sat down and I was still coughing so the doc didnt say anything utill I stopped. When I finally stopped the doc said "So, whats the matter?" For some reason I replied "I haven't been feeling very well since I cam back from Mexico" The doc shot back in his chair and looked frightened to death. When I explained that I was joking and that I had an ear infection, you could see he wasnt happy, lol.
I hope he has given me the right stuff to take now http://www.bst-secure.com/forums/images/smilies/smile.gif
Borrowed from another forum far to good / funny not to pass on
You think that is funny?
Watching too many Ant & Dec type programmes make you like this.
Gene Hunt
05-May-09, 17:55
Dont know why we still have the problem of Swine Flu .. Pigs are easily cured.
I read that the WHO have raised the pandemic level, just wondering though .. what has it got do with Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey ??
I know .. hat and coat are on and the taxi is on the way.
The Angel Of Death
05-May-09, 17:57
Heard on the grape vine that you can now purchase a sense of humor online
How about we all have an Org whip round and get you one cause after reading some of your posts of late your severely lacking in one
Ohh and by the way i think Ant and Dec are complete guff would rather stick my head in the oven and turn on the gas
I called the swine flu helpline for advice, but i think there was a fault with line as all i got was crackling :lol:
You think that is funny?
Watching too many Ant & Dec type programmes make you like this.
Well, i thought it was funny, and exactly the kinda thing i would do :D
PS, and i don't watch Ant & Dec either
Borrowed from another forum far to good / funny not to pass on
You come across with tripe like that an then denigrate ant an dec!!!!!
Methinks you must be using the same scriptwriter;)
Heard on the grape vine that you can now purchase a sense of humor online
Ohh and by the way i think Ant and Dec are complete guff would rather stick my head in the oven and turn on the gas
maybe the same place can also sell you a personality.
Cedric Farthsbottom III
05-May-09, 19:50
I laugh at Ant and Dec.I laugh at swine flu jokes.I laugh at Jade Goody jokes.I laugh at any jokes,as long as their funny.Thats what humour is all about.So Angel of Death ye mention humour in yer thread,yer here now in the joke section.Humour ain't confined to nothing.:lol::lol:
I laugh at Ant and Dec.I laugh at swine flu jokes.I laugh at Jade Goody jokes.I laugh at any jokes,as long as their funny.
There are some sad people in this world. Could you enlighten everyone with your definition of "funny"
Cedric Farthsbottom III
05-May-09, 22:33
There are some sad people in this world. Could you enlighten everyone with your definition of "funny"
"Funny",is when someone tells ye a story,joke and ye laugh.Thats what a joke is about.Thats why this section has been created to have a giggle.Would I put a Jade Goody joke,a rude joke,a sex joke on this section.No.This is a forum read by many different aged members,a family forum.I laugh at Jade Goody jokes,I laugh at Princess Diana's jokes,I laugh at any joke as long as its funny.Am I sad,not at all.I like a laugh.
Socrates,enlighten me.Why are ye being serious on a joke section?
The Angel Of Death
05-May-09, 22:50
maybe the same place can also sell you a personality.
I got that in abundance loads and loads of it now humour your lacking mate severly take a chill pill or somthing my suggestion might be to remove the lumber thats stuck
End result if its not of your taste / liking ignore or dont read it no one twisted your arm right up your back and forced you to read this
Why can you not have a laugh about something which involves some persons misfortune?
Ken Dodd one did a charity show when he was on stage for 24 hours without telling a dirty/sick joke.
At private parties he could let rip with the best of them and could make other "risque" persons (I hesitate to use word comeidians as anyone can get a laugh with a dirt/sick joke) sound quite tame, but he knew when he could perform his adult acts and I doubt he would ever perform/post adult jokes on to a forum which draws quite a few minors
My favourite comedians are Ben Elton, Frank Skinner and the now squirming New Labour and any of the Scottish mickie mouse politicians running holyrood
I got that in abundance loads and loads of it now humour your lacking mate severly take a chill pill or somthing my suggestion might be to remove the lumber thats stuck
End result if its not of your taste / liking ignore or dont read it no one twisted your arm right up your back and forced you to read this
Looked at thread expecting to find subtle clever jokes and then I read your
"Swine flu JOKE" .
Some tips for you:
Every joke has to have a bit of religion
A bit of mystery
And a bit of sex
"My god, I am pregnant, who did it?
Cedric Farthsbottom III
05-May-09, 23:18
Why can you not have a laugh about something which involves some persons misfortune?
Ken Dodd one did a charity show when he was on stage for 24 hours without telling a dirty/sick joke.
At private parties he could let rip with the best of them and could make other "risque" persons (I hesitate to use word comeidians as anyone can get a laugh with a dirt/sick joke) sound quite tame, but he knew when he could perform his adult acts and I doubt he would ever perform/post adult jokes on to a forum which draws quite a few minors
My favourite comedians are Ben Elton, Frank Skinner and the now squirming New Labour and any of the Scottish mickie mouse politicians running holyrood
Some of the best jokes are about some persons misfortune.
One of my all time favourite jokes.
copyright Billy Connolly
"I walked into the toilet at Glasgow Central for a pee at the urinal.Some bloke I could hear in the nearby cubicle removing the curry he had just had.He came out and washed his hands and left.
I was washing my hands when a guy came into the toilet,had a smell and looked at me in disgust.I could only say,"It wisnae me!!!!":lol::lol:
Cedric Farthsbottom III
05-May-09, 23:35
Three pigs are sitting in their sty.One says,"I built a house out of bricks and the big bad wolf couldnae blow it down."
The second one says,"I sneezed and the whole world was in a panic."
The third one thought to himself,I've just farted and I'm saying nothin!!!!
Well done Cedric.
You have proved that humour does have to involve real life people or disasters.
,
Three pigs are sitting in their sty.One says,"I built a house out of bricks and the big bad wolf couldnae blow it down."
The second one says,"I sneezed and the whole world was in a panic."
The third one thought to himself,I've just farted and I'm saying nothin!!!!
Hahahahaha so funny
Cedric Farthsbottom III
08-May-09, 19:32
Well done Cedric.
You have proved that humour does have to involve real life people or disasters.
I have proved nothing.Humour,jokes rely on one thing and one thing only.A laugh,a jokes final conclusion.
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