View Full Version : Gender Inequality
When I was a kid not only was a womans place in the home but I also believed a womans place was in the home. Worse than that, many women also believed their place was in the home.
Since then women have become more liberated although many still subserve to their husbands through reasons of culture or religion or for just plain practical purposes.
Apparently though, their worth in the workplace is 17% lower than men for doing the same job.
I wondered what the weemin on Caithness.org thought about this inequality.
connieb19
27-Feb-06, 22:56
Men are like parking spaces....All the best ones are already taken and the ones that are left are too small!!:eek:
CONNIE!!!!!!! wash your tongue as I pick myself up off the floor and dry my tears...........I liked it though....
connieb19
27-Feb-06, 23:02
On nights like this i wish I had a man though...Handy for taking the coal in!!
When I was a kid not only was a womans place in the home but I also believed a womans place was in the home. Worse than that, many women also believed their place was in the home.
Since then women have become more liberated although many still subserve to their husbands through reasons of culture or religion or for just plain practical purposes.
Apparently though, their worth in the workplace is 17% lower than men for doing the same job.
I wondered what the weemin on Caithness.org thought about this inequality.
I dont understand where this alleged figure of 17% comes from. I worked in the Civil Service for over 30 years, and there was no difference in pay between the sexes, and most of my line managers were female in the later third of my service. So females were not barred from promotion either.
Since retiring, I have had two part time jobs, one with Asda & one with Sainsburys, and they are equal opportunities employers, ok not very good pay, but over the minimum wage barrier. So where does this 17% come from?
lassieinfife
27-Feb-06, 23:24
Just think about how much your local council are haveing to pay in back money to their female workers and you will know where the 17% comes from the women have been under paid, although on same grade as men have been under paid for years
So where does this 17% come from?
I was quoting one of the main stories on all the news channels today Golach and didnt bother to check where it came from. I had a quick google when you asked your question and theres enough information there to choke a coo. Mind you if your saying that gender inequality doesnt exist feel free to post your reasons.
Just think about how much your local council are haveing to pay in back money to their female workers and you will know where the 17% comes from the women have been under paid, although on same grade as men have been under paid for years
They must have been in a rubbish Union
Probably going to get a verbal battering for this but here goes.
I work in a bar, and I can't believe the attitude of SOME men in Caithness, they are still under the impression that there place is in the pub and their women should be at home looking after the kids and cooking their dinner, and yes it is mostly the older generation who have been brought up like this but what gets me most is it seems to have filtered down to SOME of the younger generation too.
Most families I know have both parents working, women just as men hours as men, but the onus still seems to be on the mum to cook and clean, maybe it's something we have taken on ourselves cos we don't fancy burnt mince and tatties and all our whites turned pink...he he
Why do SOME men say they are babysitting their kids i.e on a sat night when the wife wants to go out, now tell me mothers do you ever say you have to stay in and babysit your own kids????
what a woman says:
come on....this place is a mess!
you and i need to clean
your pants are on the floor
and you'll have no clothes
if we don't do the laundry.
what a man hears:
come on....blah, blah, blah
you and i...blah, blah, blah
blah, blah..on the floor
blah, blah, blah...no clothes
blah,blah, blah...now
what a woman says:
come on....this place is a mess!
you and i need to clean
your pants are on the floor
and you'll have no clothes
if we don't do the laundry.
what a man hears:
come on....blah, blah, blah
you and i...blah, blah, blah
blah, blah..on the floor
blah, blah, blah...no clothes
blah,blah, blah...now
good one angela lol
Bingobabe
28-Feb-06, 00:20
[quote=stargoes.Why do SOME men say they are babysitting their kids i.e on a sat night when the wife wants to go out, now tell me mothers do you ever say you have to stay in and babysit your own kids????[/quote]
Well said star
Anyway i work in the caring feild and have found that alot of the elderly people espically men on the odd occassion women think it,s a crime that you should go back to work after having kids.And when you try to explain to them why you go to work ie MONEY they seem to come over all confused stating oohhh you should be at home looking after your bairn cooking your mans dinner after all he,s done a hard day,s work i think to myself what the heck have i been doing all day but working.come on men equal opportunities now!!!!!:eyes :eyes :p
Barefoot in the winter and pregnant in the summer. Aye, they had it right in the old days when they hadn't even got bras to burn.[evil] :Razz :Razz
best line I heard of...
both parents are home from hard day at work, kids are running wild, dinner is just started on the stove.
Wife walks into living room where hubby is watching telly and having a beer, "If I dont have time to watch telly, YOU dont have time to watch telly". CLICK its off.
LOL Sassy and I still snort over that one.
Worse than that, many women also believed their place was in the home.
Many women still think that their place is in the home, my mother and my missus being two of them.:p
It's a sunny morning in the big forest, and the bear family is just waking up.
Baby bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table, he looks into his small bowl. "It's empty" he squeaks..
Daddy bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair, he looks into his big bowl, and its also empty, "Who's been eating my porridge" he roars.
Momma bear put her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells " for petes sake, how many times do we need to go through this?
"it's momma bear who got up first"
"its momma bear who woke everyone else up this morning"
"its momma bear who made the coffee"
"its momma bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night"
"its momma bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the paper"
"its momma bear who set the table"
"its momma bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter tray, filled the cats water bowl and food bowl".
And now you've decided to come downstairs and grace 'momma bear' with your presence......
Listen good, cause i'm only going to say this once...I Haven't made the damn porridge yet..
lol i love it go momma bear he he good one angela
wickerinca
28-Feb-06, 03:08
lol...good one, Angela!
Seriously I don't think that a woman's place is just in the home nowadays although I do object to woman that consider stay-at-home mothers to be inferior in some way. If you want to stay at home and raise your family then good for you........and if you have to go out to earn enough money to support your family then good for you too!
What I do object to is the inequality in pay. If two people are doing the same job, or have the same level of responsibility then why should the female person get paid less?
I think women have more than their fair share of equal rights these days. They get paid more than men and they get promoted faster than men these days because of their gender. Regardless of the propaganda of what you read about to the contrary, what they fail to point out is that, traditional female jobs are paid less, that is true, even if a man fills that role.
wickerinca
28-Feb-06, 03:39
I can't really comment on that Rhrghead as I have been away from the workforce in Scotland for too long to have any idea on who gets paid what. I am not a part of the paid workforce in Canada so, again I wouldn't know the reality of pay equality...........it is only the 'idea' of the earnings difference that would bother me.
However I am interested in your assertion that women are promoted faster and earn more then men. Could you qualify this for me?
In the 70's I chose to train for a career that was considered to be a man's job and I did have some problems with some men that I had to interact with. However I was paid the same and was entitled to the same benefits although I do not remember getting any special treatment!:grin:
http://usera.imagecave.com/blackal/Funnies/THEGOODOLDDAYS.JPG
Many women still think that their place is in the home, my mother and my missus being two of them.:p
Rheghead, my Mother and Missus are now both the same, Im the one looking for a job, I am not a house husband, but I can do every job in the house, can even go shopping (alone), and come back with change. I dont do ironing though, last time I ironed the curtains I fell out the window.:D
I dont do ironing though, last time I ironed the curtains I fell out the window.:D
[lol] hee...hee
There is a lot of hilarity around this subject and its always the butt of many jokes and rightly so. There is a difference though in looking at inequality in life and in the workplace. True equlaity for women is about choice - being able to choose to stay at home and look after the home and the children if thats what you want or being able to work and have a career if that is what you want instead. Interestingly as a working mother i rarely came across men who thought i should be at home looking after my children but i often came across women who thought i should be a housewife.
In the workplace there is difference - there is still a glass ceiling that exists but cannot be seen clearly. It is still harder for for women to reach the upper echelons of management for a whole range of reasons. Rheghead mentions "women's jobs" as being badly paid and that is true but who decided they were "women's jobs"? I understand that the issue of backpay has arisen by comparing the level of jobs and the skill needed and deciding that "women's jobs" are on an equla level with some "men's jobs" that were being paid more.
An example is a hairdresser who attends college and gains city and guilds qualifications, does day release and has to practice and produce a high standard of work to qualify. Compare this to a welder who attends college and gains city and guilds and has to practice and produce a high standard of work to qualify. Look at any of the adverts and see who is paid more? Why?
An example is a hairdresser who attends college and gains city and guilds qualifications, does day release and has to practice and produce a high standard of work to qualify. Compare this to a welder who attends college and gains city and guilds and has to practice and produce a high standard of work to qualify. Look at any of the adverts and see who is paid more? Why?
Perhaps not the best analogy - the hairdresser's wage is directly linked to the private disposable income of an individual (the customer), the welder's wage is industrial.
Also - a "bad weld day" can be a bit more serious than a "bad hair day"
However I am interested in your assertion that women are promoted faster and earn more then men. Could you qualify this for me?
I can only go by my own experience. I started work in 1982 as a fitter/turner in the Barrow-in-Furness Shipyard. In those days, it was and probably still is a male orientated career move. Out of about 100 fitter apprentices taken on in that year, about 10 were girls. By the time I was 12 months out of my time, just one girl was still working on the submarines as a fitter, and she was getting a premium payement as a 'marker off'. The rest had been given drawing office jobs or other cushy office jobs. Women manual apprentice intake figures are just a 'paper exercise' to satisfy the Equal Opportunity Board's insatiable appetite for equality, it has no real purpose except to postpone a young lad from getting a job which he will stick at. The marker off once refused to do a job because she said it would damage her nails!! Pathetic!
Thankfully, there are other career moves which men and women can fill on equal footing. Since the Greater Manchester Police case in which a female Chief Superintendant took her employers to court (and lost) the police and other public sector positions are filled with women who contribute greatly to public life.
In the workplace there is difference - there is still a glass ceiling that exists but cannot be seen clearly. It is still harder for for women to reach the upper echelons of management for a whole range of reasons. Rheghead mentions "women's jobs" as being badly paid and that is true but who decided they were "women's jobs"? I understand that the issue of backpay has arisen by comparing the level of jobs and the skill needed and deciding that "women's jobs" are on an equla level with some "men's jobs" that were being paid more.
Employers should only recruit on the suitability of the candidates ie based on skills and experience. If a woman takes 'time out' to have kids then she is basically putting herself on the 'hard shoulder' on the road to success. Once she gets going again she is at a big diadvantage but not an insurmountable one. I guess that is why women who rejoin the workfore are always so go-getty and pushy so that nothing stands in their way, such is life, eh?:p
What about jobs where there is complete equality of pay.
Two workers going for promotion...................
Male worker works for, let's say, 15 years no breaks.
Female worker, same qualifications, in the same 15 years only works for 6 years due to taking time for a family.
Is there really any doubt about who should get promotion?
What about jobs where there is complete equality of pay.
Two workers going for promotion...................
Male worker works for, let's say, 15 years no breaks.
Female worker, same qualifications, in the same 15 years only works for 6 years due to taking time for a family.
Is there really any doubt about who should get promotion?
No there is no doubt at all - the person who is the most suitable - length of service isnt always an indicator of suitability.
A women's place is in the home, i think not, that is old fashioned views.
http://usera.imagecave.com/blackal/Funnies/THEGOODOLDDAYS.JPG
:lol: I shouldn't laugh....
It just goes to show how much things have changed!
Bill Fernie
28-Feb-06, 20:17
The difference in pay arises from a number of factors but employers better catch on soon or it will cost them dear.
Women often go back to work part-time either during building their families or after they have grown up. These jobs tend to be in lower paid area of employment where women tend to be higher in numbers and men have traditionally not gone to work. This has changed and men in these jobs also find they are low paid.
However employers better watch out even if they think they have safely been paying women in certain categories low pay and getting away with it as they see it as normal to pay cleaners, canteen ladies, and range of other jobs the “Going Rate”. Local authorities and councils have also played that game and lost. After long struggle women and their unions have finally it seems won a battle over equal pay that is going to cost the councils in Scotland a lot of money after the women won their case for equal pay. That is equal pay when compared not with people doing the same job - ie women in other low paid jobs but men in jobs that were considered to be of similar worth such as say bin men who earned a lot more or other similar labour only type jobs carrying few if any qualifications to obtain them.
Highland council alone is expected to have to find £15 million in the coming year to settle all of the claims from its own workers for past years of low pay.
See this story about councils on this BBC item http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/4641694.stm
Other employers better watch out as unions will be encouraging their members to fight equal pay claims with this result under their belt. Even individuals may bring cases against employers who persistently have paid low wages if a case can be made to compare a job with similar skills and qualifications in another part of the firm or even perhaps outside.
All employers might be well advised to take serious look at their pay for women and see if it compares with similar work in other areas. If an employer even thinks they are paying too low wages seeking some advice might be well worth it. And maybe even thinking about pay rises could well be worth while to save a huge potential bill piling up in a costly court case. Do employers really want any female staff leaving to start a case for equal pay against them for previous years as their parting shot if they leave.
Councils of all people have allowed their own situation to fester for years and as this case draws to final settlement and large payouts for the low paid women workers other employers who have been watching timidly in the wings had better begin looking seriously at their female staff wages and conditions.
The ramifications of not doing something sooner rather than later are all to clear for councils – cuts in services or an increase in the council tax or both. Employers can make their own mind up how similar actions against them will affect their businesses. Legislation has been in place for a long time to make sure we had equal pay and now it is being used with vengeance.
There will be no protection for employers who have not carried out some sort of job evaluation to compare a particular job with others of similar value elsewhere. The comparison of one low paid female worker with another low paid female worker will no longer wash. It needs to be across the board and the genders. If a job area is considered to be low paid but has all male employees earning higher wages than women then that may well and probably will be the comparitors used.
And if you leave it the way councils have the bills will keep mounting. See a few -
ONE thousand staff at a Lothian council are being offered a share in a £5 million settlement to meet equal-pay legislation. Midlothian Council is only the second Scottish local authority to make a direct offer to staff under equal-pay laws, with Glasgow recently putting forward a £58m offer to its female workers. Many councils are nearing offers and as earlier Highland is likely to be £15million. Aberdeen City may be facing a £55million settlement. There is much more if you Google.
These are terrifying figures for council taxpayers who in the end face the bills. But as I say no one should think they can hide once the settlements begin to come in. The legal facts in these cases are the precedent being set for every employer in the country in my view. Edging low paid female staff wages up is not only sensible but fair. Arguments about the business not being able to stand the increases are hardly likely to win many points in a court case faced with the proven cases a now coming through the system now.
Trade unions armed with these wins will definitely be tackling this issue for their low paid members in other areas. And it will not just be for women. Low paid men in similar situations may well find they are winners too as they will have the same comparisons and weight of law on their side.
I am no employment lawyer but no one can say this battle fought for low paid workers was nay thing but just and trade unions have done their job and fought on behalf of their members and won after along struggle. Councils are having to accept it and move on and in future pay their low paid staff better wages. Other employers will have to look out. If they pay fairly comparable wages to female staff they have nothing to worry about. If there is case for comparing with mainly male industries employing people of similar levels of qualifications and experience then serious questions should be asked right now as the alarm bells have been ringing for some time.
Not sure where to look now?
Try the Equal Opportunities Commission web site
http://www.eoc.org.uk/
And the Women and Equality web site page at
http://www.womenandequalityunit.gov.uk/pay/update_question.htm
The Bell Tolls - does it toll for thee.
And good luck to all the women who get their pay increased and back pay to boot.
The difference.......
SNIP
pay increased and back pay to boot.
I see they must be paying councillors by the word now!!!
[lol] :lol: [lol]
wickerinca
28-Feb-06, 21:07
I am not ignoring this thread.......just haven't had the time to compose my responses yet!![lol]
weeboyagee
28-Feb-06, 22:26
Men are like parking spaces....All the best ones are already taken and the ones that are left are too small!!:eek:
How wrong you are connie19, how wrong you are hahahaha...... ;)
connieb19
28-Feb-06, 22:31
How wrong you are connie19, how wrong you are hahahaha...... ;):eek: .....................
weeboyagee
28-Feb-06, 22:40
An example is a hairdresser who attends college and gains city and guilds qualifications, does day release and has to practice and produce a high standard of work to qualify. Compare this to a welder who attends college and gains city and guilds and has to practice and produce a high standard of work to qualify. Look at any of the adverts and see who is paid more? Why?
Oh dear squidge!.....and I thought you knew better? Working conditions, environment, physical exertion, all come into consideration. Look at the picture you painted though. Before you said about who gets paid more, how many of you saw a woman as the hairdresser and a man as the welder - and tell the truth now!
I agree there should be no difference when it comes to being paid the same amount for the same job regardless of gender. I also agree that certain jobs merit being paid different rates than others. In terms of career chasing, I agree with Rheghead, leave the job to start a family and you should loose out on the chance that will be afforded to the "person" who remains in the work stream. Woman sometimes choose career over family. If you have the edge on someone who remained in the work stream when you join it again then good for you, you have the skills and requirements for the job regardless of the option you took to have a family - that's what it is all about.
I don't understand why women should receive less for doing the same job and I can't understand why a modern country like this would allow this to happen. I can't think of any situations where this is happening or examples. Does anyone else have any?
weeboyagee
28-Feb-06, 22:42
...........I mean't that the good ones MAY BE all gone but the remainder are not small.................
weeboyagee
28-Feb-06, 22:42
.....................after all I am six feet tall :D
connieb19
28-Feb-06, 22:46
.....................after all I am six feet tall :DOh, thanks for explaining...lol[lol]
landmarker
28-Feb-06, 22:56
A womans place might not be in the home but for sure a home is all the nicer, cosier, warmer and utterly better if a woman is in it. A home without a woman is just a house, even if she's out at work. When she comes back it's a home again, and frankly the less time she spends at work the better it is. Most women do not want careers, especially if they have children. Most will tell you if money was irrelevant they would rather stay home and build the nest. If more men were willing OR ABLE to free up the household budget and cough up more cash , and both partners were willing to settle for just a few less creature comforts then much of this argument would be resolved.
Just my opinion.
My wife was home for thirteen years while our kids grew up. She works part time now (2 days) but overtime demands mean she is often working three or four full days a week. This week she's on holiday. The home is better for her presence. She's revelling in the rest & wishes it were permanent & the house is so much more welcoming when I get in.
A womans place might not be in the home but for sure a home is all the nicer, cosier, warmer and utterly better if a woman is in it. A home without a woman is just a house, even if she's out at work. When she comes back it's a home again, and frankly the less time she spends at work the better it is. Most women do not want careers, especially if they have children. Most will tell you if money was irrelevant they would rather stay home and build the nest.
Just my opinion.
Dying of curiosity here...
How, precisely, do you claim to know what MOST women want?
Also, please explain how "at work" means "out of the home" to you, when in fact, your woman will be "at work" making your home nicer warmer cosier, etc.
Another fine example of "work" for no economic gain, which is some countries is called slavery.
connieb19
28-Feb-06, 23:14
A womans place might not be in the home but for sure a home is all the nicer, cosier, warmer and utterly better if a woman is in it. A home without a woman is just a house, even if she's out at work. When she comes back it's a home again, and frankly the less time she spends at work the better it is. Most women do not want careers, especially if they have children. Most will tell you if money was irrelevant they would rather stay home and build the nest. If more men were willing OR ABLE to free up the household budget and cough up more cash , and both partners were willing to settle for just a few less creature comforts then much of this argument would be resolved.
Just my opinion.
My wife was home for thirteen years while our kids grew up. She works part time now (2 days) but overtime demands mean she is often working three or four full days a week. This week she's on holiday. The home is better for her presence. She's revelling in the rest & wishes it were permanent & the house is so much more welcoming when I get in.I must be different from most women then because I can't think of anything worse than being stuck in the house all day making it all nice and cosy for some man to come home to.
A womans place might not be in the home but for sure a home is all the nicer, cosier, warmer and utterly better if a woman is in it. A home without a woman is just a house, even if she's out at work. When she comes back it's a home again, and frankly the less time she spends at work the better it is. Most women do not want careers, especially if they have children. Most will tell you if money was irrelevant they would rather stay home and build the nest. If more men were willing OR ABLE to free up the household budget and cough up more cash , and both partners were willing to settle for just a few less creature comforts then much of this argument would be resolved.
Just my opinion.
My wife was home for thirteen years while our kids grew up. She works part time now (2 days) but overtime demands mean she is often working three or four full days a week. This week she's on holiday. The home is better for her presence. She's revelling in the rest & wishes it were permanent & the house is so much more welcoming when I get in.
Run Landmarker, as fast as your legs can carry you......RUUUUUNNNN!!!
;)
Dying of curiosity here...
How, precisely, do you claim to know what MOST women want?
Also, please explain how "at work" means "out of the home" to you, when in fact, your woman will be "at work" making your home nicer warmer cosier, etc.
Another fine example of "work" for no economic gain, which is some countries is called slavery.It's landmarker's opinion: he said so himself. It's his style: he writes provocative stuff, but then qualifies it by saying it's just his opinion. We all write in different styles, and we all attract attention in different ways. I tend to put my disclaimer's "up front", but I wouldn't claim that my "tricks" are any better than his.
Anyway, I suspect landmarker makes his claim based on the women he knows. Isn't that what most people do? You and I could make claims based on the women we know, and I suspect our claims would be somewhat different from landmarker's.
Dying of curiosity here...
How, precisely, do you claim to know what MOST women want?
.
Excuse me Madam, your question has an obvious answer.... MOST women I know are on the message boards in Caithness.Org, telling us mere males, exactly what they want, (constanly) we men are not daft, we can read you know.
My wife opted for the traditional marrige vows, I can remember them just. "For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or worse"
If that means looking after your husband, to a manner in which he expects then so be it.
Hmmmph Wimen!!!!!!!
porshiepoo
01-Mar-06, 10:19
Have to admit it kinda irks me that housewifes are thought of as wives who shop or lunch etc.
It's bloomin hard work keeping a family home and if housewives were paid at todays rates for each individual job that they carry out in the home, then they'd be the best paid people in the world.
How much does it cost to employ a cook, a cleaner, a babysitter, a gardener, a nanny (for the husband), a nurse etc etc?
Having said all that I still prefer the days when men were men and women were grateful of it! - Don't lynch me it's only an opinion.
I love it when men stand as we approach a table, open doors or car doors, are protective of 'the wee wifie'.
Unfortunately that all disappears along with gender equality. Don't know why it has to mind cos it all just seems to be good manners to me but there you have it, we can't have it all ladies.
Have to admit it kinda irks me that housewifes are thought of as wives who shop or lunch etc.Yeah, me too. But there are a few of those types in my neighbourhood. They double-park their oversized 4x4s in the middle of a busy city street, then stand outside the school gates moaning about how stressful their lives are. "The cleaner forgot to put out the bottles for recycling yesterday, the nanny arrived two minutes late this morning, and it's a tough decision on whether to cancel this week's tennis lesson and go to Little Darling's Parents' Evening instead.". How any mere mortal can deal with so much stress in their lives I have no idea. And I'm not making this up - I've actually heard these things!
Having said all that I still prefer the days when men were men and women were grateful of it! - Don't lynch me it's only an opinion.
I love it when men stand as we approach a table, open doors or car doors, are protective of 'the wee wifie'.
Unfortunately that all disappears along with gender equality. Don't know why it has to mind cos it all just seems to be good manners to me but there you have it, we can't have it all ladies.I disagree with your second-last statement. Good manners and respect for women don't have to disappear with gender equality.
The bottom line is that within a relationship equality means having the relationship the way that suits you both. As long as you both agree that this is what you both want and you compromise then its a relationship between equals. If that means you share all the household chores absolutely down the middle then thats fine if it means you share it along traditional roles - wife cooks cleans etc and husband puts shelves up and washes the car then that is fine too.
porshiepoo
01-Mar-06, 12:25
I disagree with your second-last statement. Good manners and respect for women don't have to disappear with gender equality.
[/QUOTE]
I never said they did Szinny old boy!
If you look at what I said, I said that unfortunately it seems to disappear when we have gender equality.
You're right, it shouldn't have to disappear, I did say that in my statement.
Squidge - couldn't agree with you more!
I never said they did Szinny old boy!
If you look at what I said, I said that unfortunately it seems to disappear when we have gender equality.That's not quite what you said. Your previous statement was more definite - you didn't use the word "seems". But we agree on the basic principles, so let's not argue over semantics.
You're right, it shouldn't have to disappear, I did say that in my statement.Absolutely. :)
I'll now be a gentleman and let you have the last word if you wish...
landmarker
01-Mar-06, 20:05
Dying of curiosity here...
How, precisely, do you claim to know what MOST women want?
Also, please explain how "at work" means "out of the home" to you, when in fact, your woman will be "at work" making your home nicer warmer cosier, etc.
Another fine example of "work" for no economic gain, which is some countries is called slavery.
You like to split hairs? By 'at work' I do mean out of the house grafting for cash.
We 'gain' economically together, whether my wife works or not.
Monetary gain, in any case, is not the be all and and all of 'gain' One can gain in other ways. Besides , she is making the home 'cosier and warmer' for herself as well.
Survey after survey reports a majority of women would remain at home with their children if economics was not a factor. Blimey! I'd pack it all in meself if I didn't need the cash, and I'm a bloke.
landmarker
01-Mar-06, 20:09
I must be different from most women then because I can't think of anything worse than being stuck in the house all day making it all nice and cosy for some man to come home to.
Maybe you've not met the right man. Or maybe you prefer to do other peoples bidding than spend time doing what you want to do in your own time.
Unless of course, you work for yourself in which case things might be different, or earn an astronomical salary which might also put a different slant on things.
connieb19
01-Mar-06, 20:13
Maybe you've not met the right man. Or maybe you prefer to do other peoples bidding than spend time doing what you want to do in your own time.
Unless of course, you work for yourself in which case things might be different, or earn an astronomical salary which might also put a different slant on things.It must be my astronomical salery that does it...:eek: [lol]
Bobinovich
01-Mar-06, 23:25
The bottom line is that within a relationship equality means having the relationship the way that suits you both. As long as you both agree that this is what you both want and you compromise then its a relationship between equals. If that means you share all the household chores absolutely down the middle then thats fine if it means you share it along traditional roles - wife cooks cleans etc and husband puts shelves up and washes the car then that is fine too.
Not forgetting the between ground such as the husband doing a full time job AND sharing in some of the chores, while the wife looks after the kids and does other chores. My wife & I have a symbiotic relationship; she cooks - I wash up; I do the laundry - she irons; she mows the lawns - I do the DIY, etc.
I must admit it works well but each couple to their own - so long as they work it out between themselves, don't take each other for granted, and are willing to compromise as the situation requires it.
I have 1 of those symbiotic relationships as well Bobinovich.
She cooks- i eat it
She washes clothes- i wear them
She mows the grass- i lie on it to sunbath
She paints the walls- i point out the bits she's missed
She chops the wood- i supervise its burning while lieing on the rug
Your right, these are definetly the best way to do things.
Watch out teuchter, she may wait to mow the grass until the next time yer out there basking in the sun. LOL
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon.
When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.
"oh mamma!" she exclaimed, " the honeymoon was wonderful! so romantic!"
No sooner had she spoken the words she burst into tears, " but mamma...as soon as we returned, sam started using the most horrible lanuage, he's been saying things i've never heard before! All these 4-letter words!
you've got to come and get me..take me home..please mamma!"
"Now sarah"...her mother answered, "Calm down! tell me, what could be so awful? what 4-letter words has he been using?".
"please don't make me tell you, mamma" wept the daughter, "i'm so embarrassed! They're just too awful! just come and take me home....please mamma!".
"Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset...tell me these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride replied, "oh mamma....words like dust,wash,iron and cook!".
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