Gene Hunt
09-Apr-09, 12:44
These days us Men seem to be taking a lot of stick so I thought I would share this e-mail I have just received which shows just why it is great to be a man .. and it is.
The garage is all yours.
Phone conversations last 30 seconds.
You know useful stuff about tanks boats and aeroplanes.
A 5-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
Toilet waiting lines are 80% shorter.
You can open all your own jars.
Friends don't give care if you have lost or gained weight.
When clicking through the channels on TV you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying.
You don't have to carry a bag of "essential items" with you everywhere you go.
You can go to the toilet without taking a friend to talk to.
Your last name stays the same.
You can leave a hotel room bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
You see the humour in "Terms of Endearment."
The position of the toilet seat is never an issue.
You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
If someone forgets to invite you to something they are still your friend.
Your underwear costs £5 for a pack of 3.
None of your fellow workers have the power to make you cry.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
You get to curl up next to a smooth skinned woman every night instead of some big hairy guy. Unless that is your thing of course .. why exactly ??
If your 34 and single no one cares.
Chocolate is just another snack to you .. not the Devil incarnate.
You can quietly enjoy a car journey from the passenger seat.
Flowers or Duct Tape can be used to fix everything.
You never have to worry about your fellow men's feelings.
Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.
You can watch a film or game of football in silence for hours without your mate thinking "He must be mad at me."
One mood. All the time.
You can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve yourself to look like him.
Same work but more pay. Nowadays its a bit less but we still come out ahead.
Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress £2000, Suit Rental £200
You don't care if someone is talking behind your back.
You don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone else's plate.
The only way you retain water is in a water bottle
The remote is yours and yours alone .. always.
You need not pretend your "freshening up" when you go to the toilet.
If you don't phone your mate when you said you would he won't tell your friends "you've changed"
If another man shows up at the party in the same outfit you will probably become lifelong buddies.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
If something mechanical doesn't work you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
New shoes dont cut blister or mangle your feet.
Deep down you can think the idea of punting that small, yappy ankle biting dog is funny.
The garage is all yours.
Phone conversations last 30 seconds.
You know useful stuff about tanks boats and aeroplanes.
A 5-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
Toilet waiting lines are 80% shorter.
You can open all your own jars.
Friends don't give care if you have lost or gained weight.
When clicking through the channels on TV you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying.
You don't have to carry a bag of "essential items" with you everywhere you go.
You can go to the toilet without taking a friend to talk to.
Your last name stays the same.
You can leave a hotel room bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
You see the humour in "Terms of Endearment."
The position of the toilet seat is never an issue.
You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
If someone forgets to invite you to something they are still your friend.
Your underwear costs £5 for a pack of 3.
None of your fellow workers have the power to make you cry.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
You get to curl up next to a smooth skinned woman every night instead of some big hairy guy. Unless that is your thing of course .. why exactly ??
If your 34 and single no one cares.
Chocolate is just another snack to you .. not the Devil incarnate.
You can quietly enjoy a car journey from the passenger seat.
Flowers or Duct Tape can be used to fix everything.
You never have to worry about your fellow men's feelings.
Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.
You can watch a film or game of football in silence for hours without your mate thinking "He must be mad at me."
One mood. All the time.
You can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve yourself to look like him.
Same work but more pay. Nowadays its a bit less but we still come out ahead.
Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress £2000, Suit Rental £200
You don't care if someone is talking behind your back.
You don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone else's plate.
The only way you retain water is in a water bottle
The remote is yours and yours alone .. always.
You need not pretend your "freshening up" when you go to the toilet.
If you don't phone your mate when you said you would he won't tell your friends "you've changed"
If another man shows up at the party in the same outfit you will probably become lifelong buddies.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
If something mechanical doesn't work you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
New shoes dont cut blister or mangle your feet.
Deep down you can think the idea of punting that small, yappy ankle biting dog is funny.