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scorrie
05-Apr-09, 22:56
As a bit of light relief from the Jade Goody bickering I offer up this, hopefully, controversy free tale.

I have had chronic sinus problems for many years now and two operations have only offered partial relief. Despite the daily steroid nasal sprays, there are days where the muck simply fills up the sinuses and causes discomfort. One day I had a serious blockage on one side, whilst the other was relatively clear. The urge to sneeze came upon me and I convulsed, closing my eyes, as a 200 mph rocket whooshed out of the nostrils. I could tell right away that a "tenant" had vacated the premises at a similar rate and my previously congested sinus felt wonderfully clear. The downside was the obvious fact that a fluorescent green blob was now on the loose, as I had had no time to grab a tissue. It was time to search the kitchen to locate where our snottary friend had made landfall. A check of the lino turned up nothing and looking all round the cupboards was equally fruitless. The horror of a worktop landing reared its ugly head, although I was sure the angle of trajectory was all wrong for such a possibility. Scanning the worktops revealed nothing and the cooker was clear as well. I resigned myself to the fact that my jumper or jeans must be sporting a new logo!! A thorough search showed that my clothing was as clean as a whistle, so where the heck could it be? It definitely came out and it felt pretty substantial, we are talking chewed Roundtree's Fruitgum proportions here!!

I had to go out, so I resigned myself that I would return to discover that my Wife had found the culprit first and I would have to blame one of the kids!

Once I got down the street, everything passed as normal until a man approached me and asked if I had the time. I raised my left arm, turned my wrist towards me and there, right in the middle of the face of my watch, was our translucent green escapee!! I had to stifle the urge to tell the mannie that it was 3'o' Blob and instead wiped the offender away with a tissue and the words "Bloody Starlings"

After I told my wife about the incident she was calling me Harry Snottar for several days.

Liz
05-Apr-09, 22:59
Oh Scorrie you are priceless!!!!:lol::lol:

Cedric Farthsbottom III
05-Apr-09, 23:05
:lol::lol:.........On the scorrie.Oh I nearly had an accident.

teenybash
05-Apr-09, 23:09
Absolutely brilliant Scorrie..........................[lol]

jings00
06-Apr-09, 13:04
lmao - and boakin at the same time!!!
i canny tolerate other fowks snotters!

lynne duncan
06-Apr-09, 13:41
i'm chortling away quite happily, thanks scorrie, as a sinus sufferer as well i can easily equate

telfordstar
06-Apr-09, 14:11
i'm chortling away quite happily, thanks scorrie, as a sinus sufferer as well i can easily equate

Same as me and that story certinly put a smile on my face.:D

Iffy
06-Apr-09, 14:29
Great story Scorrie,

DISGUSTING !! - but at the same time oh SO funny !!!:lol::lol:

Invisible
06-Apr-09, 14:41
thats cheered me up for the day.:D

davie
06-Apr-09, 16:57
There is a distinct lack of class on here sometimes - I thought that at least one po faced .orger would be fair black affrontit.
I must learn how to do these smilies as this deserves a line (or two)

Kenn
06-Apr-09, 18:06
Hilarious.........................

alex
06-Apr-09, 18:16
lmao - and boakin at the same time!!!
i canny tolerate other fowks snotters!

My reaction too - except I don't know what boakin is :( but if it involves feeling slightly repulsed and sick then that's the word :lol:

domino
06-Apr-09, 19:49
Funniest post in a long time. Keep them coming!!!!

jings00
06-Apr-09, 21:09
My reaction too - except I don't know what boakin is :( but if it involves feeling slightly repulsed and sick then that's the word :lol:


that is pretty much it !! (well, perhaps the odd dry heave)

horseman
06-Apr-09, 21:21
You'r getting worse no better, (why should I be expecting "better') no need to answer.that was 'classic scorrie'
I have suffered a hooter assult to,huge help to me--I can smell things again for the first time in many years. Even fag smoke evokes memories of when I used to partake! An as one of my duties at work is to instruct newbies' into the mysteries of the effluent plant,it 'aint all good-but i love the positive side of the op,hope yours turns out as good, watch out for the flying gilberts.

scorrie
06-Apr-09, 23:28
I thought that at least one po faced .orger would be fair black affrontit.


No doubt there were several. This one for instance:-

http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i237/scorrie57/updownpo.jpg

Lack of class? I am sure that numerous forums cater for the classier individual. What ho Jeeves and all that.

Class Dismissed ;)

Aaldtimer
07-Apr-09, 03:02
I say, shouldn't that be "SnottEr"? ;)

jings00
07-Apr-09, 11:27
I say, shouldn't that be "SnottEr"? ;)

aye, but what's the odd bogie between friends :-)

scorrie
07-Apr-09, 11:34
I say, shouldn't that be "SnottEr"? ;)

No:-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snotter

I can assure you THAT didn't fly oot my hoot!!

dessie
07-Apr-09, 18:00
what an excellent story mr snottar...just fab...now your going to have to write a book..lol..keep them coming...;)

pink
07-Apr-09, 18:29
[lol][lol][lol]
Pity i read it while eatin ma tea though

bleugh