nicnak
23-Feb-06, 14:08
DO NOT READ THESE POEMS IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED!!!
THE MAN OF THE HOUSE
The husband had just finished reading the book "Man of the House." He
stormed into the house and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a
finger in her face, he said, "from now on, I want you to know that I am the
man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet
meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous
dessert. Then you're going to draw me a bath so I can relax.
And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb
my hair?'
His wife replied, "the funeral director?"
A MAN OF SIX
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud
of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her
objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time
to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He
shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back,
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
MACHO MAN
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding,
he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't
expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I
tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing
and card playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a
hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there
will be sex here at seven o'clock every night ..... whether you're here
or not."
THE QUARREL
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"
ANOTHER QUARREL
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either, and
storms out of the house.
After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and
rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated
husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
THE MAN OF THE HOUSE
The husband had just finished reading the book "Man of the House." He
stormed into the house and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a
finger in her face, he said, "from now on, I want you to know that I am the
man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet
meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous
dessert. Then you're going to draw me a bath so I can relax.
And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb
my hair?'
His wife replied, "the funeral director?"
A MAN OF SIX
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud
of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her
objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time
to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He
shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back,
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
MACHO MAN
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding,
he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't
expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I
tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing
and card playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a
hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there
will be sex here at seven o'clock every night ..... whether you're here
or not."
THE QUARREL
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"
ANOTHER QUARREL
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either, and
storms out of the house.
After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and
rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated
husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"