plasticjock
25-Mar-09, 18:20
Bloke walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's full to the brim with £10 notes. He reckons there must be thousands of pounds in it. He approaches the landlord and asks, ‘What's the situation with the jar?’
’Well, you pay £10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money..’
The man certainly wasn't going to pass this up, 'Ermm...what are the three tests?'
'Pay first, those are the rules' says the landlord. So the man gives him the £10 and the landlord drops it into the jar.
'OK,' the landlord says, 'Here's what you need to do.......first, you have to drink that 2 litre bottle of pepper tequila...the whole thing, all at once...and you can't make a face while doing it.
Second, there's a pit-bull chained-up out back with a rotten tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.
Third, there's a 90-year old woman upstairs who has never had an orgasm. You've got to put things right for her.'
The man is stunned, 'I know I paid my £10, but I'm not an idiot, I won't do it! You have to be nuts to drink a bottle of pepper tequila, and then do those other things..'
'It’s your call,' says the landlord, 'but the money stays where it is.'
As time passes, the man has a few drinks, then a few more, finally he stands up and slurs, 'Where’z zat sequila?'
He grabs the bottle with both hands and downs it with big slurps. Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face.
Next, he staggers out back where the pit-bull is chained-up and soon the people inside the bar hear a noisy scuffle begin outside. They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping and then silence.
Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar, with his shirt in tatters and huge bloody scratches and welts all over his body.
'Now,' he gasps. 'Where'z ’at old woman with the rotten tooth?'
’Well, you pay £10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money..’
The man certainly wasn't going to pass this up, 'Ermm...what are the three tests?'
'Pay first, those are the rules' says the landlord. So the man gives him the £10 and the landlord drops it into the jar.
'OK,' the landlord says, 'Here's what you need to do.......first, you have to drink that 2 litre bottle of pepper tequila...the whole thing, all at once...and you can't make a face while doing it.
Second, there's a pit-bull chained-up out back with a rotten tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.
Third, there's a 90-year old woman upstairs who has never had an orgasm. You've got to put things right for her.'
The man is stunned, 'I know I paid my £10, but I'm not an idiot, I won't do it! You have to be nuts to drink a bottle of pepper tequila, and then do those other things..'
'It’s your call,' says the landlord, 'but the money stays where it is.'
As time passes, the man has a few drinks, then a few more, finally he stands up and slurs, 'Where’z zat sequila?'
He grabs the bottle with both hands and downs it with big slurps. Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face.
Next, he staggers out back where the pit-bull is chained-up and soon the people inside the bar hear a noisy scuffle begin outside. They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping and then silence.
Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar, with his shirt in tatters and huge bloody scratches and welts all over his body.
'Now,' he gasps. 'Where'z ’at old woman with the rotten tooth?'