View Full Version : addicted to surrogacy
anneoctober
10-Mar-09, 13:16
Did anyone watch this programme on Channel 4 last night? It's hard for me to understand how you can carry a baby then hand something so precious to another couple and a few weeks later decide on who the next "lucky" couple will be. This is MY personal opinion, for couples who have no other means open to them it must be a salvation. The lady who was pregnant on and off for 18 years had given up living her life to do this, a point that Kim Cotton made to her, she had NO desire to be a mother herself, but had n't had normal relationships since she was 20 yrs old. What do you think ?
Not everybody is the same and if this lady is happy doing this, then why not.
I know the Vast Majority of Women would not want or understnd this but there are always exceptions to the rule and it looks like this Lady is one exception.
It might be hard to understand but not every Woman wants to be a Mother.
As the old saying goes "Different Strokes for Different Folks"
I watched it as well very interesting! But not something i could do, after 9months of pregnacny you are desperate for the end result your baby so no way could i part with the bundle! But hey the folks that are surrogates are a god send for couples who otherwise couldn't have children. Reckon i could maybe donate eggs but couldn't carry a child for some1 else. Good programme though!
I didnt actually see the programme but I can understand why people do it.
My sister is unable to have children herself & I would happily give up 9mths of my life to give her a baby, I know what a fantastic mother she would be & just seeing the joy it would bring to her would be enough to know it would all be worthwhile.
I dont think I could be a surrogate for a complete stranger but I would do it for a family member or close friend without hesitation.If I didnt have my own family I would probably feel differently but my own family is now complete & if I could give someone close to me the gift of a child they would otherwise never have I would do it in an instance:D
teenybash
10-Mar-09, 13:53
I watched the programme and had mixed feeling............on the one hand I felt it was a wonderful gift to those who could not carry a child of their own..but on the other,, how can a woman give up the child she has conceived, to another woman.
I found it interesting but, in all honesty could not say it was right or wrong as I think it is a very individual choice.
kitty kat
10-Mar-09, 15:18
I watched it as well very interesting! But not something i could do, after 9months of pregnacny you are desperate for the end result your baby so no way could i part with the bundle! But hey the folks that are surrogates are a god send for couples who otherwise couldn't have children. Reckon i could maybe donate eggs but couldn't carry a child for some1 else. Good programme though!
i feel the opposite i could carry someone elses bun but i couldnt donate a part of me. if it were someone else egg you would just be helping it grow.
this must be the most wonderful gift you can give , i know if i thought i could give the baby up then i would seriously consider doing it, but i know that when it came to it i just wouldnt beable to hand the baby over.
ShelleyCowie
10-Mar-09, 23:16
I was one of those that was told i would not be able to concieve. (Boy did i prove them wrong) But i was told at 16 and all i ever wanted was to start a family. So surrogacy had come into mind. But i managed just fine on my own in the end.
I dont think i could ever be a surrogate, i would not be able to hand the child over. I struggle with the thought of someone babysitting my son never mind keeping him.
My heart goes out to surrogate mothers, they give people the happiness and joy that people who want families deserve.
But as i said, personally i could not do it. Im a sucker for a baby so i would never be able to part with one.
If they are willing to carry the child for which most are hansomely paid then they should have no problems handing the kid over.
I watched this with great interest, I really do feel for those who want but cannot have children, it must be so awful.
I am just glad that there are women able to give the most precious gift of a new life to another, that is truly amazing and the most selfless act ever.
If they are willing to carry the child for which most are hansomely paid then they should have no problems handing the kid over.
dont agree, you develope a bond with the baby.
I wonder how the woman that can't concieve feels when her husband has fertilised another woman's eggs?
I also wonder how the surrogate feels when it is her egg that has been fertilised, therefore, her child. It must be hard to let go when the time comes.
I wonder how the woman that can't concieve feels when her husband has fertilised another woman's eggs?
I also wonder how the surrogate feels when it is her egg that has been fertilised, therefore, her child. It must be hard to let go when the time comes.
dont think all men could handle the thought of their oh carrying another mans baby, but you know what they say, any idiot(well most) can make a child, but it takes someone special to be a dad.
dont think all men could handle the thought of their oh carrying another mans baby, but you know what they say, any idiot(well most) can make a child, but it takes someone special to be a dad.It all seems like the makings of a psychologist's playground to me
ShelleyCowie
10-Mar-09, 23:44
I wonder how the woman that can't concieve feels when her husband has fertilised another woman's eggs?
I also wonder how the surrogate feels when it is her egg that has been fertilised, therefore, her child. It must be hard to let go when the time comes.
Is it not harder the thought of never having a family? It is not as if their partner has had *intercourse* with the woman. :confused
* sorry if am no allowed to use that word. :eek:
Is it not harder the thought of never having a family? It is not as if their partner has had *intercourse* with the woman. :confused
* sorry if am no allowed to use that word. :eek:I know they haven't had intercourse but they may as well have.
ShelleyCowie
10-Mar-09, 23:56
I know they haven't had intercourse but they may as well have.
It is nothing of the sort, Intercourse is a completely different kettle of fish.
Maybe it takes a personal experience to understand, if a woman can not have a child but so desperately would like a family, not as if she is going to be told "well your partner can have intercourse with someone else if you want" :roll:
It is nothing of the sort, Intercourse is a completely different kettle of fish.
Maybe it takes a personal experience to understand, if a woman can not have a child but so desperately would like a family, not as if she is going to be told "well your partner can have intercourse with someone else if you want" :roll:What's the eye raising emoticon for, are you trying to tell me you have something wrong with you eyes?:lol:
I reckon lot's of women wouldn't like the idea of their husband's sperm fertilising some other woman's eggs. That's my opinion, like it or lump it.
i would hate to be in the position of not being able to have kids, for whatever reason, i thank myself lucky god blessed me with my 4.
purplelady
11-Mar-09, 00:12
I think it is a wonderful gift any woman can give another woman,but me i could not do it ,I was told after 2 children I coild proably not have any more and athough I had 2 it was an awful thought luckly I had my son and I admire these woman who can have babies for others but i could not go though all that then give up my baby x
ShelleyCowie
11-Mar-09, 00:14
What's the eye raising emoticon for, are you trying to tell me you have something wrong with you eyes?:lol:
I reckon lot's of women wouldn't like the idea of their husband's sperm fertilising some other woman's eggs. That's my opinion, like it or lump it.
My eyes are wanderin around enight, cana keep em under control! [lol]
No i get what ye are sayin TBH. It wouldna be a nice thought. Suppose thats when you go into adoption then.
People affected by this situation obviously have their strong opinions.
Surrogacy has been around for a long time and is mentioned in the bible. Even today in some innuit communities fertile couples will give their babies to the couples who do not have children so that every one in the community can raise children.
Some women lose their reproductive parts due to cancer and others are simply not born with them. Now I am a mother of two healthy children however if I try to imagine for a second what it would be like to be told I cannot carry my own children or even have my own biological children the thought fills me with a despiration I cannot describe but I am quickly returned to my reality where I am a lucky one. To some it may seem easy (me being one) but to others getting pregnant, staying pregnant and giving birth seems an impossibility. I was born to be a mother, its in my genes :) and I would gladly give my eggs or womb to help another woman conceive
dont agree, you develope a bond with the baby.
Until you have actually been a surrogate I don't think you would know that. If you were just the carrier for the couple's own egg and sperm then I don't feel you would - you would feel protective yes but not bond with the baby! Can't say I would be happy having a baby that was made from another woman's egg - that would not be my child!
Women who survive certain diseases that are left with no eggs of their own are happy to take another womans eggs if it means that they can have a child with their husband. And are happy to have a child that is half the man they love than no child at all. We are lucky we live in a country with such medical advances and money!
My definition of a mother is someone who cares for, protects, nurtures a child and I have met people who are considered 'mother' of a child but do not fill none of these criteria.
Good point DM07 - suppose this subject is a very personal one and everyone will have differing views on how they would wish to have a child.
I was watching this with my 16year old daughter, she couldn't see a problem with it. I on the other hand have difficulty understanding how, when mother nature has 'programmed' a women so she would do anything for the baby she has been carrying for nine months is then able to hand it over to a relative stranger.
I don't think our bodies are just wombs on legs, I strongly believe ( i don't think science backs me up) that whilst a baby is inside you its not just the babies physical needs that are satisfied, its not as simplistic as that.:D
Luckily have never been in that situation.
I feel sorry for childless couples especially when some just seem to keep on breeding regardless.
If a women wishes to help a childless couple then I have to respect that woman as she would be doing a wonderful thing for them.Personally I would still feel an attachment to the child if it was My wife carrying but I suppose you would have to think of how happy the childless couple would be and counteract that.
AS long as BOTH sides are happy then crack at it I say, but it is an emotional minefield.
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