View Full Version : fathers for justice
Bingobabe
16-Feb-06, 01:59
does any one have an opion on this subject as i myself find it quite bad that a vengful woman can just stop access for a father to see his child dosent anyone care about the children anymore i am a woman myself and find it quite hard to comprehend so what if you and your partner dont get along dont deny the children of their father
tommy1979
16-Feb-06, 02:14
It is very wrong for a woman to do that out of spite, so long as that man had not been physically abusive towards her or the kid then he has every right to be involved in the kids upbringing!!! its only natural for a kid to ask the question "where is my dad?" when they see their friends having fun with their fathers. That can only make the kid feel isolated and could even lead to the child getting picked on in school for being "different". We all know how nasty kids can be to each other.
Bingobabe
16-Feb-06, 02:17
yes totally agree
pedromcgrory
16-Feb-06, 02:44
you woman dont know how lucky you are really ,i was down seeing my kids last week in newcastle ,and loved every minute taking them to school daughter to gymnastics where she won her badge she was very proud of herself and so was i ,but its a cruel life for us men well i think that anyway but id never take my kids away from there mum as shes a brilliant mum but we hurt too so i cant make sence of it really im all for fathers for justice in a way but also aint
Bingobabe
16-Feb-06, 02:53
we,ll i dont think its fair to judge all woman the same i would never stop my husband from seeing his child even if we did split
you woman dont know how lucky you are really ,i was down seeing my kids last week in newcastle ,and loved every minute taking them to school daughter to gymnastics where she won her badge she was very proud of herself and so was i ,but its a cruel life for us men well i think that anyway but id never take my kids away from there mum as shes a brilliant mum but we hurt too so i cant make sence of it really im all for fathers for justice in a way but also aint
You sound to me to be a very good father and your children will know this. Is there no way you can be nearer your children? If not then you must make sure your children are aware of this,don't presume that they understand everything.
connieb19
16-Feb-06, 09:05
Why does the woman always get the blame for this? There is plenty of men out there who don't want to bother with their kids,don't even deserve to be called a dad!! [mad]
I had a 'friend' who wanted access. He used to drag them to his house each weekend, then leave them with the 12 year old in charge. He would go out and get drunk (or occasionally bring a woman home - whom one child saw him having s** with) and usually crash out on the couch. When he decided to stop dragging them to his house, he would take them to a hotel with a Playstation, and leave them in the room unsupervised while he went to the pub. He wanted the access - did he deserve it? did the children deserve to be treated like this? Needless to say the children got sick and tired of this and could see right through him. There is no access now and the children are alot happier. This just proves that not all fathers deserve access if it is going to be detrimental to the childrens welfare.
It amazes me that people can be so cruel to someone they loved enough to marry or commit to and to have children with. I am seperated and whilst my ex husband and i have had our differences i have never ever ever once said a bad word to my children about their dad, i never criticise him or his girlfriend and i would never ask the children to take sides. He might not have been the husband i wanted for me but he is without doubt the father i wanted for my children.
the stories you hear about the way women and men treat ex partners baffles me and I cannot understand it at all. In the long run the children wil see actions for what they are and they run the risk of damaging their relationship with their children for ever.
Bingobabe
16-Feb-06, 12:29
well i know a man who,s always trying to get access and is finding it difficult cause the druggie mother and boyfreind are making it even harder why should a man who has morals and good parenting skills be punished this mother is a extremely bad parent and all she does is party all the time with her kid being there doing drugs infront of a minor is bad enough but to doing it infront of your own children is completely unexceptable what are you teaching your child how to successfully roll a joint yes sad but its true so where exactly is the justice there this mother is completely uncapable she has made her child a loaner and isolated her from children her own age so shouldnt the father have rights here as he is a far better role model
its terrible whats happening to this kid. if its who i think it is your right its not a good set up.
its all well and good saying a father has rights to see his children and that the woman shouldnt stop them this is all very true in its own way but wait a minute what if the father is abusive, not only to the mother but also to the children? So before everyone jumps up and down saying fathers have rights lets just remember kids have rights too no matter how young they still have a right to a safe and secure upbringing.
Also in normal circumstances I am all for fathers having rights but sometimes its not quite as black and white as we would all like it to be.
Bingobabe
16-Feb-06, 14:16
its a total diffrent ball game if the fathers are abusive and violent but all i was saying is that you cant punish the fathers who are not abusive and are good parents and want to see their kids you cant tar everyone with the same brush
To some people children are just another piece of property to claim as their right in a bitter dispute.
People who are willing to behave like that with children are contemptible.
my ex husband has very little to do with his children & this is his personal choice.I have tryed in vain for him to take a bigger part in their upbringing but he isnt interested.people automatically think its me thats stopped him seeing them! People shouldnt be so quick to jump to conclusions & realise that some mothers are left to pick up the pieces of a child left emotionally confused as to why their father doesnt want to know them anymore.
To some people children are just another piece of property to claim as their right in a bitter dispute.
People who are willing to behave like that with children are contemptible.
Absolutely agree - too many parents use their children as weapons against each other when they split. There are bad fathers and there are bad mothers but there needs to be a very strong reason to stop children seeing either parent as much as is practical. I don't believe any mother who stops her children seeing their father just because she is angry with him can claim to truly love her children. Children whose parents separate need as much love and reassurance that both parents still love them and want to be with them as it's possible to give.
Bingobabe
16-Feb-06, 17:08
but sadly you do get some spiteful women who use their children as a weapon to hurt there ex partner ive seen it over and over again but its not there partner there hurting its the child[evil]
well i know a man who,s always trying to get access and is finding it difficult cause the druggie mother and boyfreind are making it even harder why should a man who has morals and good parenting skills be punished this mother is a extremely bad parent and all she does is party all the time with her kid being there doing drugs infront of a minor is bad enough but to doing it infront of your own children is completely unexceptable what are you teaching your child how to successfully roll a joint yes sad but its true so where exactly is the justice there this mother is completely uncapable she has made her child a loaner and isolated her from children her own age so shouldnt the father have rights here as he is a far better role model
I don't understand why the mother has custody if she is taking drugs????? Does a mother, no matter how bad when compared to the father still always get custody?
It is wrong that fathers get cut out of their childrens lives, but it's not always the mother that cuts the father out. It is often the father himself who is not willing to make the effort to be in their childs life. I think that if the father does not want to make an effort,forcing him ( or her, if it were the mother the absent parent) would make an unhappy parent and that unhappiness would be felt by the child.
Do courts here fine parents who deny acess? It is a bit rusty back home, but a parent that denies acess can find him/herself fined. And worse, persistance of offence can lead to knew custody hearings. Also, though Portugal is very traditional in its views, men do get custody. Very young children usually stay with the mother. But I know 2 men who have custody of their sons (one is 10,the other is 13).
we,ll i dont think its fair to judge all woman the same i would never stop my husband from seeing his child even if we did split So I take it you are still with your partner? Well I wonder if you would say the same... if you had just split up... Men have a very vengeful attitude when it suits them.... i.e. threaten to be killed if you don't do as they say...Ha no chance!!!
Why does the woman always get the blame for this? There is plenty of men out there who don't want to bother with their kids,don't even deserve to be called a dad!! [mad]I agree totally!!!!
connieb19
16-Feb-06, 21:05
I agree totally!!!!I know a bloke who lives the next street away from his kids and dosn't bother with them because he says he's not babysitting so his ex can have time to herself. He rekons his kids will buy him a pint when they're eighteen. This man dosn't deserve to be called a dad in my opinion. [mad] How does a mother come to any compromise with someone with an attitude like that?
I know a bloke who lives the next street away from his kids and dosn't bother with them because he says he's not babysitting so his ex can have time to herself. He rekons his kids will buy him a pint when they're eighteen. This man dosn't deserve to be called a dad in my opinion. [mad] How does a mother come to any compromise with someone with an attitude like that?Excuse ME???? Please explain??
connieb19
16-Feb-06, 21:35
Excuse ME???? Please explain??What do you need explained?????
What do you need explained????? I have been in a similar situation that's all? How do you get rid of a bad father....YOU CAN'T can you, If they don't get the child off you, they start telling lies to the kid..as I have experienced!!?
[quote=connieb19]I know a bloke who lives the next street away from his kids and dosn't bother with them because he says he's not babysitting so his ex can have time to herself.
Is that my ex? exactly what he said!
connieb19
16-Feb-06, 22:04
Is that my ex? exactly what he said!it seems theres a lot of them about..[mad]
[quote=connieb19]I know a bloke who lives the next street away from his kids and dosn't bother with them because he says he's not babysitting so his ex can have time to herself.
Is that my ex? exactly what he said! Yeah me too. I have been told in the past similar things, THEY ARE CONTROL FREAKS Aren't THEY???????
melted_wellie
16-Feb-06, 22:11
Dear Mr Moderator,
Is it possible,do you think,that you could start a new section somewhere on the forum entitled "Women with a Gripe". or perhaps "A Woman Scorned".???
This way they could all get together and plot and plan their revenge on their terrible ex spouses,none of which was their fault,in their own little corner of the forum.
connieb19
16-Feb-06, 22:14
[quote=BRIE] Yeah me too. I have been told in the past similar things, THEY ARE CONTROL FREAKS Aren't THEY???????why do they class it as babysitting anyway. You'd think they would be glad to spend some time with their kids?? I suppose it would take up too much valuable drinking time. Grrrr[mad]
your absolutely right connie I agree totally!
we are also quite happy using this little corner of the forum thank you Melted Wellie.
melted_wellie
16-Feb-06, 22:20
i think the title of this thread is "Fathers for Justice". Not " Fathers that get ripped to shreds by frustrated menopausal women".
Get my drift?????????
i think the title of this thread is "Fathers for Justice". Not " Fathers that get ripped to shreds by frustrated menopausal women".
Get my drift?????????Good bloomin'... job, MEN do'nt get the same symptoms as Women..,. COZ THEY COULD'NA HANDLE IT>!!!!!
melted_wellie
16-Feb-06, 22:32
Good bloomin'... job, MEN do'nt get the same symptoms as Women..,. COZ THEY COULD'NA HANDLE IT>!!!!!we will never know that for sure,but i think its obvious your not handling it too well.....eh? snoop snoop.
we will never know that for sure,but i think its obvious your not handling it too well.....eh? snoop snoop.Oh just get lost.... eh! Not true
melted_wellie
16-Feb-06, 22:37
Oh just get lost.... eh! Not true1-0 to the fathers i think......
I think if we were all menopausal we would have eaten you alive by now melted wellie!! LOL:Razz
melted_wellie
16-Feb-06, 22:39
I think if we were all menopausal we would have eaten you alive by now melted wellie!! LOL:Razzits early yet.
connieb19
16-Feb-06, 22:40
Oh just get lost.... eh! Not trueHey Snoopy..imagine being married to something like that:roll: I'd be pushing him out the door and hoping he wouldn't come back fom the pub..lol:eek:
melted_wellie
16-Feb-06, 22:42
Hey Snoopy..imagine being married to something like that:roll: I'd be pushing him out the door and hoping he wouldn't come back fom the pub..lol:eek:is that no what you did to the last one?
I think if we were all menopausal we would have eaten you alive by now melted wellie!! LOL:Razz.. Nah, We could think of better things for him....mmn, I wonder?
.. Nah, We could think of better things for him....mmn, I wonder? STOCKS??? Still
is that no what you did to the last one? As if you know who I am ..... HUH!!
Snoopy your giving him the reaction he wants dont rise to it! Take a deep breath & calm down petal.
Snoopy your giving him the reaction he wants dont rise to it! Take a deep breath & calm down petal. Okay, thanks Brie
I just want to say that there are good and bad mothers and fathers, and from personal experience my husband has an ex wife and he had to take her to court to get access to his kids but even after that she still did her upmost to stop him seeing them, they are now grown up and have realised what there mother did. At the end of the day the people that were hurt the most were the kids.
connieb19
16-Feb-06, 23:15
Okay, thanks BrieSnoopy.try the ignore option it's great!!!:Razz
Bingobabe
16-Feb-06, 23:47
people try and get along make love not war
Good bloomin'... job, MEN do'nt get the same symptoms as Women..,. COZ THEY COULD'NA HANDLE IT>!!!!!
That's a laugh, ask any married man if he has to handle the suffering from the symptoms! They just learnt to ignore it and get on with life!
The best way to handle it is say "Yes Dear!", but never admit that you are thinking, "It's a pity, she can't handle it! Could be worse, I could be a bigamist!"
Now you know why the males of old insisted on Monogamy, who needs more than one irrational woman to deal with?
Bingobabe
17-Feb-06, 01:20
i thought this post was for fathers for justice not men versus woman and vice versa everybody can be irattional at some point it just happens once a month for me hahahahahahahahah
I think it is an absolute disgrace when a decent dad is deprived of seeing his kids! In the long run it doesnt do anyone any good. In fact the children will probably grow up to resent the fact that their mother stopped them from seeing their father.
I think a child (if old enough) should be able to make their own decision. Should they be forced into seeing him when he/she doesnt want to I think it could do more harm than good. :mad:
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