World worst boss.

[cuddlepop]

How to you handle a control freak who keeps changing the goal posts.Mr cuddlepop didnt get the job he was after so is once again stuck with a man who makes him ill.I've been a carer for the past 15 years so dont no how much management has changed or maybe iwas just lucky.I want to support my man but have no idea what to do Personel always seem to side with management recardless of the fact my man is victim number3:confused

[Valerie Campbell]

My husband worked for a boss who made him ill. It took weeks but at the end of the day he quit. Ok money was tight etc etc but wellbeing is far more important.

[cuddlepop]

We've had this conversation and financially its not an option.I've told him we'll manage with less but he's afraid he wont be able to support his other two kids.What might happen is that he cracks and wont be able to walk away.I've never hated someone as much as this man before....:~(

[weefee]

hi, i have worked in HR and been a manager and i know that all the rules are there to protect the employer more than the employee. Changing the goal posts continuoulsy can be deemed as "meeting business needs" but there should be some sort of change management in place to ensure that employees do not suffer undue stress and that appropriate training is given.....

check out the acas website, they are really good for advice and if things get really bad you can ask someone to get involved in help resolve disputes(does your husband feel like he is being victimised and being forced to resign?) http://www.acas.org.uk/

i agree with valarie tho, there is no job worth more than your own wellbeing...

wishing you luck
fee x

[cuddlepop]

Thank you both.Why is it that women can put there health before there job but men cant.HC seem hell bent on removing old district council employees We feel he has a hit list of employees to get rid off but cant proof it.We've been advised by mental health officer to quit as you can never take on the big boys and win..Its just so wrong as my man is a good boss to his staff and wont see them hard done by.Union no help,everyone running scared:(

[Alice in Blunderland]

Have sent you a pm dont know if this will help

[Valerie Campbell]

Would any of the other victims speak up? Is there no one higher he can complain to? Is there a safety rep? He could speak to him about his welfare at work being ignored by this manager. He has a right not to suffer detriment in the workplace.

If it does come to the bit where he has to leave the job because his health is suffering he can quote from the Employments Right Act 1996, Part XI 86 (6), that he is terminating his contract without notice 'by reason of the conduct of the other party' ie his manager. That way he wouldn't need to suffer a week's notice under him.

I wish there was more I could say to help cuddlepop. It gets me so mad that these people get away with things like this.

I hope a new job is just around the corner for him.

[Ann]

I have PM'd you with my penniesworth! Ann

[cuddlepop]

Been on the acas sight its good but once again it seems to be for bosses.Mr cuddlepop home as he's without an office as they moved his stuff out when he went off sick All his belongings including personel stuff is in corridor......
They are not good employers to put it mildly:mad:
Thank you for your pm's will get back to you

[concerned resident]

All employers have a duty of care for their employee’s,
Suggest he tries to resolve the situation by going through the Grievance procedures,
And might consult the CAB for there assistance, as they have employment specialists.

[Saveman]

CAB has specialists?

[cuddlepop]

Can the concerned resident please tell me more as like Savey i didnt know they had specialists in the CAB.:roll:

[squidge]

Keep a written record of all the incidents - no matter how trivial they might seem to other people. Keep a written record of how he is feeling when these incidents occur.
Check if the emplyer has a grievance procedure and follow it but make sure you have EVIDENCE.
Go to speak to the person's line manager with your evidence
Make sure that Mr cuddlepop TELLS the person concerned how he feels and what effect that is having on him - even if it gets pooh poohed by the person. Make sure he writes down the response that he gets from this person.


Arrange a meeting with said boss and state calmly and clearly what his grievances are have solutions to pput as options and RECORD the response.

An example might be " I knwo you have put my belongings in the corridor - i am finding it very difficult to meet targets/manage staff/deal with customers in this situation. what are your plans for resoplving this? My suggestion is ....."

Ask an absolutely clear question
" what concerns have you about my work and the role i have been carrying out" RECord the response - usually it will be a Wriggling out of things like " no no things are fine i havent anything particular" if the person comes up with things then Mr Cuddlepop should ask him to help draw up a plan to improve his performance.

Keep a record of fates and conversations and make sure that this is kept at home and not in the office - if there are any witnesses to theis persons bad treatment of mr cuddlepop then keep a note of their names. REmember this is bullying and its not acceptable. most employers will take a dim view of this if you can get through the immediate line management structure.

CAB will have someone who specialises in employment law but you really need to use the organisations internal procedures to deal with this first and you will need evidence before taking formal grievance procedures. Good luck

[cuddlepop]

Thanks Squidge, he has been down this road before. involved Union and personell (who in their words were there to support management) agreements were reached and basically broken from day 1. He should have done more about it there and then but it's hard to fight back after a beating.One of the problems is the grievence procedure which when followed results in more stress pressure and hassel.You've nothing left to give:confused
ITS all so one sided.....

[squidge]

I know and its about control its really hard

[Murdina Bug]

I was reading all the advice and thinking how good it was and just what I would do - until I got to your last post Mrs Cuddlepop. If your man has been down this road before and the situation is still as bad (or worse) than before then it is not going to change.

I worked for a similar boss (female) who twice rearranged the office, moving my desk and personnel belongings on days that I was on leave. Lots of subtle bullying behavoiur went on and it was obvious she was the problem yet all the admin staff were moved out or rotated on a regular basis to give her fresh blood. All because the incompentent management could not or would not deal with her - probably because she met her targets! I quit her office.

I am afraid to say that for his own health Mr Cuddlepop should either request a transfer or quit his job. I know it is very hard to do and possibly even harder for a man but it is not giving in or giving up - it is a positive thing to do if it means that you stay sane and are no longer a victim to this mistreatment. Good luck.

[cuddlepop]

Thanks for that.This has been going on now since this man came to mr cuddlepop's service 3 years ago.Since then they both have played the game of cat and mouse,with the occassional appearence of the owners cat.....The end result is cat is retrained till the next time.This is a very good cat bacause it brings in lots of money for the service .so the owner wants to keep the cat but also wants the mouse because it has the knowledge and experience the cat doesnt have.
Have spoken to CAB who have advised us to lodge a formal grievence...this is when it gets bloody.
Will need support from some organisation as having a dditional responsibility of a child with additional needs is wiping me out.....:(
Thank you all for your support you've been wonderful:Razz

[jac1791]

ACAS is really not for the employer - give them a call they will tell u where u stand

[cuddlepop]

Jac,will phone them tomorrow.It is a good site,tempted to print off info and send it to the area manager[evil]

[JAWS]

How to you handle a control freak who keeps changing the goal posts.Mr cuddlepop didnt get the job he was after so is once again stuck with a man who makes him ill.I've been a carer for the past 15 years so dont no how much management has changed or maybe iwas just lucky.I want to support my man but have no idea what to do Personel always seem to side with management recardless of the fact my man is victim number3:confused
Personnel will side with the manager, to do otherwise means they allowed the wrong person to be promoted, and they won't do that.
He's not a control freak, he's a bully who has to show he has power. Such people think that by making everybody else look incompetent or lazy it somehow makes them look better. They usually do it to hide their own shortcomings.
One thing to start doing is to keep comprehensive records of times, dates and what happened. It might not help at the time but it could be useful should your man be forced to stop work. The more detail he keeps the better it is.
I don't know enough about employment law to know what action can be taken in the meantime.

[cuddlepop]

Thanks Jaws.Like i say this is not the first time there has been a problem with this boss.The last two employees he intimated to resign were female. My man has been dodgin the blows for the past 3 years.Someone at partners work said he is using Hitlers theory of getting them to fight amongst themselves.He sets the same targets etc for eveyone and then watches as they squabble to finish first,

This boss is very clever because last year my mans computer was given to someone else and wiped,when he was off sick and this time he's sent his lap top back.Thus destoying all evidence we have,[evil]

[JAWS]

Keep the details in a diary at home and, if possible, a back up of what he has on the laptop. Tell him not to say a word to anybody at work about what he is doing.

[cuddlepop]

What I've been doing is trying to encourage him to keep a journal at home,at the end of the day when he comes home to write everything down.Ithink he's done it a few times.Idont want to nag he gets that all day.This ,you are right is the only way to nail him.He is a bully,X RAF and he's trying to install methods he used when he was with them[evil] .

[obiron]

really sorry mr cuddlepop is going through this its always the decent workers who are harassed by management the workers who are a big waste of space get nothing done about it. ridiculous really. keep notes and date them.

[wickerinca]

Hi cuddlepop
Sorry to hear that Mr Cuddlepop is having so much trouble. It must be hard to keep positive but he is lucky to have you there for him. I agree with the others though.......you must keep a note of everything............even if you could sit down together in a quite moment and try to remember certain events and perhaps witnesses to them. It is important!

I do hope you get this resolved soon. I am sure that acas will be of great help to you. Keep your chin up....you have loads of support here!

[cuddlepop]

There can only be two outcomes as far as i can see either we move or his boss does.OPTION1 we have tried for three years to get a job away albeit with the council as he wants to keep his pention but at 45 its starting to look unlikely.OPTION2 boss will not move because we are going to get a new commnity facilitie(school) that will be the flagship for highland council in the not too distant future.
We are going to have to prove that the stress,irritable bowel,backache ,headache is caused by the boss.Any idea how we do that?:confused

[Oddquine]

If he works for the council, then he should be telling his doctor all about it, and his symptoms,and get signed off with work-related stress, rather than with any one of his symptoms.

It would also be ammunition for any grievance procedure.

I assume he will still get paid for sickness time.

[cuddlepop]

He's been back at work now for four weeks still with no office He's to use the hot desk.Thats fine but your files can only be accessed from 1 computer.Two years ago he was off for 6months.Only went back because the boss was told to ammend his ways (sort of).As you can see the boss did not change his ways ,just waited till everything was sighned off so he could start again.[evil]

[daviddd]

I think this boss needs to be given a really hard time - complain to his boss, his boss's boss,and his boss, and keep complaining. One of these bosses will get worried about his own neck if he / she allows the situation to continue. Make waves, know you are right, have faith in your actions.

[cuddlepop]

Thanks Daviddd we intend too make his life hell like he does ours[evil]

[Oddquine]

Way to go, Cuddlepop!

I think that Councils must work differently from the private sector...........the private sector is much more inclined to listen to the employee....know someone who has been at the receiving end of a grievance............perhaps because they are more worried about the employee going to the press! ;)

I was under the impression that bullying in the workplace was a no-no in these enlightened times! [evil]

[wickerinca]

Go get him Cuddlepop!! Hate bullies[mad]

[scorrie]

I have been through the Highland Council's grievance process three times now and am currently still involved in the third. I can't discuss our case for obvious reasons.

You have to give the employer a chance to sort this through their Grievance process, as you will be laughed out of court if trying to pursue it there first.

While the CAB guy may be okay at the initial stage, I would advise getting an employment solicitor on the case if you can. It is pretty hard to find Solicitors who are taking on Legal Aid cases but you can check out your Home Insurance to see if you are covered for legal expenses, I know that some insurers provide this.

I can also vouch for the fact that HLP in High Street are not qualified for Employment Law, they pointed us in the direction of an Inverness firm but the guy there said he did not feel comfortable dealing with Employment issues!! We ended up getting help elsewhere.

Some of the local Solicitors offer a free diagnostic interview to assess your case and likewise some online firms will offer initial advice freely.

Keep a record of as many incidents as you can, as advised earlier. I would advise asking for access to all files held by the Council about your husband. This can be done by completing a subject access request form and sending to the information manager in Inverness. Ask for all files, documents, emails that you consider relevant to your husband's case. We obtained some very good information from this method. This form is available online if you don't want to go and ask for one.

http://www.highland.gov.uk/landaintra/corporate_services/dp/dpa_sar_form130104.pdf


Be prepared for the Council to deny everything and their policy is to pursue these things to the bitter end. It can be difficult but if you stand your ground you can prevail. We won our first two, so it can be done.

[cuddlepop]

Thanks for that scorrie,Life really difficult just now.Fight seems to have left mr c.He's at that stage where he wants to just to go to work and play hide and seek,trying to get him to fill in this grievence form is a nightmare.How did you keep going?[smirk] What beggers believe is that they think there such a wonderful employer.Yet to meet someone who has a good word to say about them [evil]

[Valerie Campbell]

Seems to me that you are at the end of your tether, not just Mr C. Perhaps you should persuade your husband to take time off again. Go and see the doctor, and get him to tell the doc what has been going on. Employment law is there to protect but it didn't do my husband a lot of good. I know what you are going through and it's really hard to try and get the partner to actually do something positive. They feel worthless, helpless and that it's all on their shoulders. Tell him you are there to take half the pressure. Reassure him that you'll back him 100% in any action he takes. This is going to drag on if he doesn't do something now. Get a hold of grievance proceedures, complain. If your husband doesn't feel he can go down that road, he'll end up like my husband. Every time the phone rang, he was in tears, scared it was his boss. Every time he saw his boss's car, he felt sick, and that was when he was signed off sick. We ended up getting the police involved as the boss was harrassing my husband. Please do something. Don't suffer the way we did. If none of the above helps, know that there are people out there, as shown on this forum, who support you and your husband.

[rich62_uk]

I agree with Valerie you both sound at the end of your tether, I also think you have to accept that the job is over as nothing is going to change.

I think (check it out with an independent financial adviser who will also give you advise on transferring it to another scheme.) that his pension is safe as it will be frozen if he leaves their employment, and when your partner finds another job if the pension is a good one you can transfer it over or leave it where it is.

Another way to deal with it would be........

To take a week to gather as much information as possible especially the names of the first two people who was unable to work for him and left, remember also that an agreement was reached before and this will all be on record, then find a solicitor that would take you on as a legal aid client if you were signed off sick with depression asking them what kind of evidence would be useful for you to have, you may find one that will give you the first half hour free, then see your doctor telling him what has been going on and that there is no way you can go back, that this has left you in a desperate situation within your mind, next hand in the sick note at work with a grievance complaint (find out the right form you need within that week), then sit back and see how it all falls, dealing with each situation as it arises.

Keep this thought at the front of your mind at all times, I MUST NOT PANIC OR WORRY ANY MORE. The worst thing that can happen is that he doesn't work for them anymore, gets better and finds another job, the best is that you win your case receive compensation and the boss gets the sack. Anything is better than the way you are living, by the sounds of it your partner is not well enough to stay there much longer and face him every day.

But there is more than one way to skin a cat, either way it will leave a stink for the boss and he will not be able to behave this way and get away with it as easy as he has in the past, as mud sticks.......Trish.

[cuddlepop]

Thanks,Val and Trish.Made an appointment with doc for him friday.He has seen 4 gp's in our practice as well as the mental health officer who have said he shouldn't be at work'My man the trained professionan(x police)is trained to cope with extreme stress bottles up his feelings and then flys off the handle at me for not listening to him.I WAS AND AM ITS HIM NOT SEEING WHAT
THAT JOB IS DOING TO HIM. i'd rather be poor than live like this.:~( .
Just now i want to down load everything i can and let rip to the area manager.I have tried to show him that he's heading for a srofe and like Val husband he feels visable shaken when he see's him.We cant walk the dog the way we use to because we have to pass his house.How sad is that.:roll: .Tomorrow if he gets no joy from area manager i'm going to see him myself.[evil]