Funny Insurance Claims

[Iffy]

Some years ago a work colleague took into work a list of funny insurance claims that he got from a customer - they were hysterical !!!! :lol: :lol:

I only remember a few of them - they went something like this -

1. My car engine was on fire, so I grabbed my dog from the back seat and smothered it with a blanket !!

2. The old man didn't know which way to run, so I ran over him !!

3. I saw a sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the bonnet of my car !!

4. I took one look at my Mother-In-Laws face and drove over the embankment !!

5. On trying to swat a fly I drove into a telegraph pole !!



Can anyone tell me where I could get a full copy of these "Funny Claims" ?? Would LOVE to read them all again !!

[Fluff]

1. My car engine was on fire, so I grabbed my dog from the back seat and smothered it with a blanket !!



Smothered the dog or the fire?!?!

[Iffy]

Well I guess thats what made the "claim" funny - the very idea of him smothering his dog to extinguish the fire ???? I THINK its the way the claim was worded that made it so funny.....:confused I REALLY don't think that it was the dog he smothered rather than the fire in the car engine :confused ????

[TBH]

Here's some for your perusal, Iffy:

Incidents with Pedestrians.

The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.
The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.
The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again.
I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact.


Accidents with other vehicles.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.
When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.
I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.
The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.
I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.
I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.
The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing.
The car in front of me stopped for a yellow light, so I had no choice but to hit him. (She pushed him through the intesection)


Collisions, calamities, and injuries.
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I saw two kangaroos having it off in the middle of the road. So I hit them, which caused me to ejaculate through the sunroof.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.
I pulled in to the side of the road because there was smoke coming from under the hood. I realized there was a fire in the engine, so I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.
The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were - Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.


Who is to Blame?
No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.
I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.
I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.
The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.
Windshield broke. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.
No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened.
I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.
The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal.
I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I left for work this morning at 7am as usual when I collided straight into a bus. The bus was 5 miniutes early.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.
The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian, and the other on the car behind.
I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.

[butterfly]

tbh,lol the whole family is having a laugh at this!!![lol]

[TBH]

tbh,lol the whole family is having a laugh at this!!![lol]Aye, there's some right crackers there.[lol]

[Gizmo]

Thanks TBH, there are a few there that i have not seen before, they had me in stitches :D

[TBH]

Thanks TBH, there are a few there that i have not seen before, they had me in stitches :DYou're welcome Gizmo, not many chances for a laugh on here lately.

[Fly]

Fantastic!! Thanks TBH:grin:

[TBH]

Fantastic!! Thanks TBH:grin:Glad to bring some good cheer to you.:D

My favourite has got to be, "I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull".[lol]

[joxville]

The following is a genuine report of a car crash which was 70% my fault, (the guy I hit was using a mobile phone at the time). I had to fill in an insurance form and wrote:

The other party was really pee'd off at me, quite unreasonably I thought. It wasn't a barrel of laughs for me either. I was on a promise that night and stood her up. :D

[butterfly]

it took us about 20minutes to read this,we had to compose ourselves because of the hoots o laughter:lol:

[YummyMummy]

Brilliant!

[Iffy]

Thanks TBH !!

THOSE were exactly the "Funny Claims" I remembered !!! They are just SO, SO funny!!! Just sent your list to my brother, who I know will also appreciate them.

In times like this, when there seems so much doom and gloom around, its GREAT to be able to have a really good laugh :lol: :lol:

Thanks again - gonna print these off, so I'll always have a copy

Cheers ;)

[AfternoonDelight]

There's not a lot that can make me laugh out loud when I'm on my own but this certainly brightened up my afternoon!! [lol]

[Dadie]

They were good, but does anyone have the school test funnies?