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Kevin Milkins
28-Nov-08, 01:48
I am a dab hand at making a good chillie and thought I would knock one up for dinner tonight.

We have a very large oval enamael oven dish that I like to fill and freeze whats left over and it holds about 12 portions.

I use a sachet of Swartz mix and a sachet of Colemans and I have done it so many times now that it always seem to come out just spot on.

Anyway, I got all the ingredents in the pan and decided it could do with a couple more tins of tomatoes and a tin of kidney beans to fill the pan and popped up to Tesco to get them.

As always when in Tesco you see things that you had no intention of buying (and tonight was no exception). CHILLIES>:eek:

I have never used real chillies before and they got them in a pack of four ,two red and two green and on a scale of one to five they were rated as two for being hot.

I got them home and read the instructions and it said that its the seeds that are hot so remove them ,cut up the chillies small and only add seeds to increase the heat to the desired taste.

I added the diced chillie to the pot, put the pan in the oven and went for a much needed pee.

When I returned to the chore of cleaning up the mess I had made in the kitchen (having washed my hands after useing the loo) I started to become very warm in the nether region/ and it got much worse.

I then had a better read of the packet which said "WARNING!! DO NOT TOUCH WITHOUT GLOVES." In small writing in the bottom left corner.:confused

It was one of those stupid "now you tell me moments". The last time I have experenced such discomfort was when I played rugby and a fellow player smeared DEEP HEAT!!! into the crutch of my pants as a prank:eek:

I guess everybody that reads this will be of the opinion that surely everyone knows that chillies can cause a serious irritation to the skin.
Well for the ones that dont ,be warned

Fran
28-Nov-08, 01:58
AAAAHHHH poor Kevin, I think you need to run into the sea to cool off next time you are at the beach!!! I'm sure the doctor can give you a soothing cream like calomine lotion.

Gizmo
28-Nov-08, 02:22
Ouch!, i know how you feel, i once rubbed my eye after chopping Scotch Bonnet chillies, one of the hotest chillies you can buy, it felt like my eye was on fire.
Chillies should not be messed with, i once bought a bottle of Chilli sauce called Mad Dog 357, it claims to be one of the worlds hottest sauces, an amount the size of a match head was enough to send even the bravest chilli head reaching for some milk, a friend of mine who is a serious chilli head thought he could handle it no problem and glugged down about 3 table spoons full, he then spent about an hour on my bathroom floor in agony and nearly unconcious, we were all pissed at the time and never gave his agony much concern to start with, but after an hour we kinda got worried and were just about to call an ambulance when he started to come round, he was fine but his rear end didn't forgive him so easily :lol: needless to say, he never took it straight again, we used to cook up some almightily hot pans of chilli with it, but i eventually threw out the bottle as my mates kept giving it to people when we had a party, they put it in a lads takeaway rice and the poor sod thought his face was going to melt, turned out he couldn't even handle the heat from a Korma and these numpties put about a tablespoon full in his rice...it was kinda funny though :)

Angela
28-Nov-08, 10:46
Ooooooooh! Poor Kevin! :eek:

I once rubbed my hand across my nose (very unhygienic I know, but it was itchy) after chopping up hot chillies.........the feeling of FIRE in my nose was soooooooo intense I ended up with cotton wool soaked in cold water stuffed up both nostrils!

It took the heat out a bit but I was in pain for hours - maybe I should have been grateful it was only my nose lol :lol:

PS How was the chilli? Hot? ;)

northener
28-Nov-08, 10:52
I did the same thing myself...cut up some chillies and then rubbed my eyes. Not Good.

As for chillies and nether regions...now that's my idea of a fun time.:Razz

hotrod4
28-Nov-08, 11:18
Arent Chillies the poor mans Viagra?;)
Or am I too cynical[lol]
When I used to work in an Indian the wife insisted that I have a bath every night when I got home, even if it was 3 in the morning. Wasnt allowed in my bed unless fully cleansed of any illegal material!
I thought it was the smell of Garlic until she reminded me of the dreaded CHILLIES!!!! and there after effects!

Valerie Campbell
28-Nov-08, 11:53
Oh Kevin, you had me in stitches as I read this! You poor soul. Now you've done it, you've learned a valuable lesson and have warned others so every cloud has a silver lining...

telfordstar
28-Nov-08, 12:04
Oh Kevin, you had me in stitches as I read this! You poor soul. Now you've done it, you've learned a valuable lesson and have warned others so every cloud has a silver lining...


Im sorry kevin but after reading that i had a wee giggle myself. Hope your chilli was good and worth it after all the pain ouve gone through for it.:lol:

Dorrie
28-Nov-08, 12:41
Oh dear, that was a tad unfortunate and I'm not laughing :lol: (honest). I think everyone that uses fresh chilies has done something similar - a learning curve you might say. I hope you are better now.

unicorn
28-Nov-08, 13:39
Look on the bright side........there was no chance of your pipes freezing last night [lol]

helenwyler
28-Nov-08, 14:24
Not that I can empathise completely, you understand, Kevin ;)....but I'll do my best.

Oooooooohh! Ouch! Aargghh!! Pfeuuffff! Eeeeee! Sniff :~(!

That'll learn ya!:D

bluebell
28-Nov-08, 14:40
Tee Hee..... sorry Kevin bet it wasn't funny at the time but I've got tears running down my cheeks....How did the chillie turn out?

ciderally
28-Nov-08, 14:48
nice one....xx

anneoctober
28-Nov-08, 16:39
Look on the bright side........there was no chance of your pipes freezing last night [lol]
omgosh unicorn - spot on [lol] "!!!!! Kevin - sorry, but you've given me the bestest laugh of the day...........................:Razz

binbob
28-Nov-08, 17:11
hahahahahahaha,,,hope all is well now!!!:lol:

Gleber2
28-Nov-08, 17:16
Lucky you didn't pick your nose.[evil][evil]

Kevin Milkins
28-Nov-08, 17:49
Thanks everyone for your kind words.lol I hope I never have to meet any of you, else I wont be able to look you in the face.:(:roll:

Fortunatly the discomfort only lasted for about an hour but was very painfull at one stage.

I find it hard to except that a man in his fifties that makes chilie often was not aware of the perills of handling the raw ingredents, also why call it chillie when it is anything but.

The end product turned out fine ,but a little bit too hot so I will mix it some more ingredients before freezing it in the morning.

If anyone fancies a tub of hot chillie for there tea tonight please PM me as you are most wellcome.
Regards KM

Gizmo
28-Nov-08, 18:10
If anyone fancies a tub of hot chillie for there tea tonight please PM me as you are most wellcome.

But would anyone be able to eat the chilli without thinking about your burning nether regions?...i think that might put me off a little :lol:

unicorn
28-Nov-08, 18:11
Great minds think alike [lol]:lol:

unicorn
28-Nov-08, 18:14
mythbusters on discovery channel doing chillie cures right now [lol]

2little2late
29-Nov-08, 01:27
And I always thought Chilly Willy was a penguin. [lol] [lol]

Fran
29-Nov-08, 02:41
Ha Ha, I think you will be getting a new name on here now Kevin! we could have an org competition and choose the best name out of all those suggested

joxville
30-Nov-08, 00:15
I thought you only got *Johnny Cash after you'd eaten the chillies!







*Ring Of Fire~1963 hit