Behaviour

[jay]

In recent weeks I've noticed behaviour being talked about in various threads ie dog mess etc and just wondered whether anyone thinks we, as members of the public, condone bad behaviour by not wanting to get involved or fear or embarassment etc.

During the Christmas holidays, I went to the local cinema, in the row behind me there were two adults with 6 children, the children were not interested in the film and carried on throughout, one of them throwing handfuls of popcorn around and continually kicking the seats in front - the adults took no action what so ever, eventually I shouted at them, still no response from the so called responsible adults accommpanying these under 12's to a film rated 12. When I looked around, further down the cinema there were, what looked like a grandmother, mother and two kids. The kids were sitting with their feet up on the top of the seats in front - again no action from the adults. Incidentally there were no members of staff in the cinema at all and none could be found at the intermission - but that's another story!

It just made me wonder what kind of upbringing are we giving kids these days when ground rules for behaviour are obviously not laid down.

[cuddlepop]

A :confused: friend of mine is a guidence teacher at the local high school.When the badly behaved child either ignores instuctions,speaks in a disrespectful manner,drops litter or generally misbehaves;she no longer asks would they do this at home,because she gets yes!
I was a volunteer at the local youth club but had to stop.There appears to be a culture today of no respect for property,possesions or the like(unless it belongs to them) I have three teenagers myself and am continually shocked by some of there so called friends behavior.If we go away now the eldest doesnt let on because his friends see it as a free house with the opportunity to do as they like.

[jay]

I just wonder if by taking no action we are condoning this behaviour and thereby encouraging it - if I misbehaved outside and was told off by an adult I would have been scared to go home to face my mother! whereas nowadays the mothers seem to be more inclined to attack the people decrying their little darlings.

[Tymey]

I think there is a cetain fear factor with getting involved. I'm in my mid 20s and do feel intimidated just walking past a group of teenagers. Sad I know but that is how it is.

[Jeid]

I get the feeling that the parents just don't care anymore. But then again, we don't know what goes on behind closed doors, so perhaps at home things are different. By the way some kids act though, you'd never think it.

I'm sick and tired of kids, especially young ones, running around my work place like its a playground. The adults just sit chatting away as if nothing is wrong. Venting your frustration is all that can be done and shouting at these kids generally works and tends to embarass parents.

Incidently Tymey, I'm one of the people who knows what binary is... [smirk]

[paris]

I as a mother of 4 young adults, grandmother of 2 have raised ALL my children the same but unfortunately 1 of the elder ones turned out to be a right little so and so. Having the police knocking your door isn't very nice and its embarrassing. Why then as i have said did one turn out different? My kids know right from wrong so what went wrong with Him ??

[porshiepoo]

There is no hard and fast rule as to what makes a good parent Paris and why one turns out different to the other. We can only do our best at the time.

I feel quite lucky that my two have turned out quite well so far. They've had their moments - as you know Paris, but all in all they're good kids. They're honest, respectful, one is probably a tad outspoken but both stand up for what they believe is right or wrong.
They both have solid ideas of what they want to do after school and are prepared to put in whatever work they have to to get there.

I've witnessed the idiots at the cinema many times, and it's usually my daughters that will say something to them.

The smacking topic will probably have many people saying that disrespectful kids are down to parents not being so able to smack nowadays. I personally don't agree and base my opinion on the fact that I don't smack mine.
However parents don't seem as able to deal with different ways of punishment anymore, they seem to have about as much imagination when it comes to that matter as the kids of today have when trying to entertain themselves - zilch!
It seems to me that parents think it's either a smack or nothing, and as smacking is frowned upon a bit more now, they do nothing. Then they blame it on the fact that they're not allowed to discipline their kids nowadays, what absolute rubbish. The one good thing that has come out of kids having so many more luxuries nowadays is that they're a good source of punishment if it's needed.
One of my girls is grounded at the moment, she's had her T'v taken away and can't use her computer, playstation or gameboy. She's writing a story and is mortified that she's actually having to write it instead of put it on computer. Plus, although she's allowed out to her birds she;s not allowed to fly them or take them out and that is punishment enough for her.

I personally don't think ignorant or rude kids are just specifically down to parenting, it's a major factor but there are also many other major factors in our kids life that dictate how they behave. Parenting obviously plays an important role in a childs attitude and manners but it has to be backed up by other parents, school, general public and society.

[squidge]

Nothing went "wrong" - there isnt a handbook with answers in the back Paris.

I have three boys all are polite and respectful normally. However number two boy does not suffer fools gladly and it often is completely apparent to whoever he is talking to that my son thinks they are a complete idiot. This is ok you might think but when its a teacher its not so good. The arrogance of youth is a mighty strong thing and i have spent a long time with my boy encouraging him to be more "tactful" in his approach to various people but he still struggles to do that.

Bad behaviour by young people in the street should be confronted - im gobby and opinionated and i have tackled this on several occasions to varying degrees of success. An "OI - what do you think you are doing" delivered loudly and confidently will usually result in something smart or rude muttered under their breath but they usually stop and go some where else.

Im lucky in that unlike cuddlepop i have found the friends of my teenagers polite and mannerly and although they will make a mess and a noise they behave well within the limits of my tolerance

[porshiepoo]

Squidge, I'd be most interested to know what star sign your erm outspoken boy is. lol. He sounds an awful lot the same as my daughter. Don't tell me he's pisces???????? lol.

[squidge]

Sorry porshiepoo he is a taurean.

Im inclined to think that its less about his starsign and more about his gobby opinionated mothers influence [lol]

[porshiepoo]

Sorry porshiepoo he is a taurean.

Im inclined to think that its less about his starsign and more about his gobby opinionated mothers influence [lol]


Ahh! And your sign is??????? lol.
So he's a bull eh!!!!!

Personally I prefer to think it's my daughters star sign. lol. I'm Cancerian so I doubt she's got it from me!!!!!!!! :roll:

[squidge]

Ahh! And your sign is??????? lol.


Im an aquarian - on the cusp to be precise as i am the answer to life the universe and everything ( i DO like saying that:grin: ) tomorrow[lol] :) :lol:

[landmarker]

It just made me wonder what kind of upbringing are we giving kids these days when ground rules for behaviour are obviously not laid down.

Rules seem to be unfashionable.

I agree that parents are over sensitive about others correcting their childrens behaviour and automatically leap to the brats defence.

People like you Jay, who had a good upbringing, and me, and all the other decent people out there are still in trhe majority. Sadly this uncaring, lamebrained minority is growing and I fear for all our futures. Not mine so much, I'm old enough and ugly enough to make my own way unfettered, but my grandchild will be immersed in this push/shove grab/curse society in her teens and earlier. How protective I feel.

Government cannot fix it, it has to come from within families. So many of these are fractured or headed by feckless idiots who want to be their childrens 'friend' that the cause is almost lost.

My grandaughter is being raised as her mother was. Ninety per cent of her requests, at three years old are prefixed by 'please' and she almost always remembers to say 'thank you'

If I come across well mannered children I always congrautlate the parents openly. They usually beam with pride. Good manners in children are to be celebrated
because they are a fast disappearing virtue.