The Fart

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Brussell Sprouts and Cabbage
A Korma in a hurry
Ten tins of baked beans in a row
A Masala in a flurry

Garlic,ginger,sage and basil
Tasted deliciously nice
For eating aw this gastric food
Wis adding to ma bowels wi spice

So watch all the romance films ye can
Of love and romance,are you wise?
Cos to me it is only a gastric fart
That will bring true tears to yir eyes.

[teenybash]

Brilliant.....and with an interesting aroma...........a certain je ne se qua.;)

[Lavenderblue2]

One Wee Scottish Farty ( Tae A Fart )

Here's another Cedric....


Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie,



Lurks in yer bellie efter a feastie,



Just as ye sit doon among yer kin.



There starts to stir an enormous wind.




The neeps and tatties and mushy peas,



Start looking like a gentle breeze.



But soon the pudding wi’ the sauncie face



Will hae ye blawin’ a’ ower the place.




Nae matter whit the hell ye dae,



A’body’s gonnae hae tae pay.



Even if ye try tae stifle,



It’s like a bullet oot a rifle.




Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair



Tae try tae stop the leakin’ air



Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek



Pray tae God it disnae reek.




But a’ the efforts go asunder,



Oot it comes like a clap O’ thunder



Ricochets arrond the room



Michty me! A sonic boom.




God almighty it fairly reeks,



A’ hope a’ huvnae 'pooh'd' ma breeks



Tae the bog a’ better scurry



Whit the hell, it’s no ma worry.




A’ body roon about me choakin’



One or two are nearly boakin.



I’ll feel better for a while,



Cannae help but raise a smile.





It wis him ! I shout and glower



Alas too late, he’s just keeled ower.



Ye dirty ! They shout and stare



I’m no that welcome any mair.





Where e’re ye go let yer wind gang free



That sounds jist the joab fir me



Whit a fuss at Rabbie’s party



Ower the sake o’ one wee farty

Anon

[Invisible]

Brussell Sprouts and Cabbage
A Korma in a hurry
Ten tins of baked beans in a row
A Masala in a flurry

Garlic,ginger,sage and basil
Tasted deliciously nice
For eating aw this gastric food
Wis adding to ma bowels wi spice

So watch all the romance films ye can
Of love and romance,are you wise?
Cos to me it is only a gastric fart
That will bring true tears to yir eyes.

Ha thats good, dont forget cider farts they are nasty