View Full Version : Protecting Our Children
We all want to be sure that our children willl be safe when they visit public places ie. swimming pool, playpark etc. Very few children now go unaccompanied anywhere for fear of who may be lurking in the background. While I agree 100% with anything that is put in place to protect children, and we can never be too careful, are things now being taken too far. How do some of the measures put in place make adults feel? Is this link taking things too far?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1053863/Adults-spotted-children-interrogated-park-wardens.html
Men in particular must feel as if they are walking on eggshells when they are around children. Frightened to speak or look at them for fear of it being misconstrued.
Situations like the man who was innocently walking on a beach where there were children padddling with no clothes on. He was alone and did not have the "excuse" of a dog for being there. He was terrified to walk past them for fear of being accused of looking at them so stayed hidden on the beach until they had gone. The child on a sleepover who, on her return home, tells her Mum that so and so's Dad (innocently) said he liked her nightie. Mum then thinking all sorts of wrong reasons why the Dad should have been looking at her in the first place. The innocent man in the park who retrieves a ball and then speaks to the child on returning it. The old man in the street innocently offering his neighbour's child some sweets he's eating. Even a child sitting on a relative's knee being read a story or someone taking a photograph of a toddler in the bath. No more babies in the bare buff lying on a blanket having their photograph taken.
Long gone are the days when you allowed your child the freedom of the streets. If they didn't come home for their tea parents just assumed they were to busy playing to notice the time or would be in someone's house. They never thought for one moment that they could have been murdered, abducted or abused. Things are so different now.
People have become so fearful that something might have happened that they even question genuine kindness shown by someone. What effect is this having on our children? Are they being wrapped in cotton wool and will they always be fearful of others, sometimes for the wrong reasons? An innocent situation can be turned around so easily with terrible consequences. We all have different opinions on where the fine line is betweeen what's acceptable and what is not.
You take the responsibility of looking after your children and you decide who they should be with or where they should go. But just who can you trust? Are they even safe at school? Do you stick to the friends and relatives you think you know? Can we even trust them? Can we even trust ourselves that we are making the right decisions?
As parents and grandparents when can we begin to relax a bit? Is it when they become teenagers or young adults and can make decisions for themselves? You just have to say drink and drugs and the worry beads are out again. When it comes to having children it really is a task that lasts from the cradle to the grave.
all that makes sense and it is down to us parents to choose who we allow next to our children, but as we found out the hard way sometimes trouble moves in next door and theres nothing you can do.
We can only protect our children to our ability but when the law states offenders have the right to a fair life then things get more complicated..[evil]
It is sad now that people wont pick up a child that has fallen and give them a cuddle due to the current climate. If a chilld is lost at a fun park for example would you take that childs hand and direct them to help? Would someone think that you were "kidnapping" the child.
I am sure most people think twice before assisting a child as it can be looked upon as something that it isnt.The media and scaremongers have alot to answer for :(
I remember as a child you would sit on a relatives knee at parties and get your picture taken etc and that was perfectly normal but nowadays some look at everyone as a possible offender. It is ridiculous,little wonder the country is going down the tubes.
I have children and would protect them no matter what, but assuming that everyone we meet has an alterior motive makes us a very sad society. Is it not the kindness and generosity of others that shape our lives? If we deny our children contact with other people the circle will never be broken.
It is bad that we cannot take pictures of our kids at schools,swimming pools etc as it may be deemed as "innapropriate".Memories are lost,looking back at my childhood pictures i remember things that I forgot but due to seeing those pictures memories come flooding back,but our kids now dont have that.
Things like this annoy the hell out of me.
Children are more at risk from people they know and until we start being open with them about what is right or appropriate behaviour we are failing.
We need to concentrate on teaching child to trust their instincts, if it feels wrong or they are uncomfortable then it probably is.
I would be very interested in finding out how the park's policies would work within Human Rights, surely as a law abiding adult I (we, you) have the right to walk in public areas unharrassed.
I would also be interested to know how many children were approached etc by lone adults in the park over the last year.
Bad Manners
10-Sep-08, 12:16
I belive that in all the instances you give that if you are an innocent party giving a helping hand then that is fine if someone else wants to make something else out of it then so be it. I would still help a fallen child etc because I know that it is right to help. if you saw a lost or injured animal you would try your best to help. Children are more inportant than animals so it is your duty to help and as I said if you are innocent of all evil thoughts you have nothing to be affraid of.
It is a sad thing when ever little thing you do is scrutinised for a possable negative we should be looking for the good in everyone well at least I do.
I know bad things happen but it is by a very very small percentage of people the remaining percentage are of good heart .
I always have and always will help any child in distress, I know it's not a safe thing to do these days but it is the right thing to do.
I recently saw a young girl crash into a wall face first on her bike in a residential area and nobody helped her so I did, I cannot just turn my back on a child needing help because of what others may or may not think.
I remember seeing a child of under 2 come out of the CO-OP in Thurso and he was on the main road outside crying for his mum and so many people walked past him, I was horrified and took his hand and took him into the shop and we found mum, I could not live with myself if I ignored that and the child got run over.
It is a sad world when people wont help a child in need.
Like Unicorn I would always try to help a child in trouble and have once or twice taken upset, lost children in Tesco's to the Information desk (why do people let small children wander off? ) but I'm afraid if a man did this he would run the risk of being suspect. It's very sad and totally illogical but that's how people react these days.
I'm sure most of us know that the majority of abusers are within the family but somehow the image of stranger danger won't go away.
Another side effect of this is that there are very few male primary school teachers. It's no wonder so many boys lag behind academically when they are taught mainly by women at this very impressionable age, especially when so many don't have a male role model in the family.
Scaremongering nonsense once again from the nazi-esque tabloid.
Why do folk continually buy and read this bilge?
wavy davy
10-Sep-08, 14:44
Scaremongering nonsense once again from the nazi-esque tabloid.
Why do folk continually buy and read this bilge?
Do you think that they made it up then?
I think they probably contacted the relevant authority on behalf of the two planks in the penguin suits who obviously held a grudge for their removal.
The authority then had to invent a reason for getting rid of said rainbow warriors.
So in a sense, yes, the whole thing is made up, a complete non-story.
But dont let that detract from the fact that any one of us could fall foul of hostile over zealous park authorities in the future. The very thought chills me to the bone. In fact I am never taking the kids to the swing park again as a result of this story.
Kevin Milkins
10-Sep-08, 17:10
You are absolutely right Venture; being a man that loves kids it is like walking on eggshells.
I live in a street in Wick and there are loads of kids running about and playing on trampolines or bouncing a ball and its great to see.
If I am outside gardening or washing the car I like to give the kids the time of day and take an interest in what they are up to.
I have to say now though with all the negative press on paedophiles it does make me feel uncomfortable talking to kids if the wife or a parent is not about. That can’t be right.
We used to live not far from Telford in Shropshire and the wife used to like to go shopping there from time to time. The shopping centre joins the town park and I find the centre very claustrophobic so I would often sit in the park with a bag of chips and have a fag while the wife was shopping, (Telford was one of the first shopping centres to ban smoking). There are loads of offices in the centre and the park is a great place to escape to have your lunch and enjoy the outdoors. If a park keeper challenged me I would feel both embarrassed and annoyed. I really do not think these measures will do anything whatsoever to protect children.
AfternoonDelight
10-Sep-08, 17:25
"The council which manages the 420-acre area says it is a 'commonsense approach' aimed at safeguarding children."
Common sense approach - common sense like the councils that banned pig figurines on desks incase it offended muslims, like the council who banned Christmas cards, like the council that have banned ice cream vans from playing their jingle, like the council who banned people from walking their dogs in the town centre during Christmas, like the council that stopped a charity bus pull, like the council who banned barbeques etc etc....
I get annoyed too easily, but stupid people tend to have that affect on me.
I like some people that work for Highland Council though... :)
Teenybash - I think I need some of your magic tea...
I have come the conclusion that once the powers that be get involved in anything that already works, it is doomed to die under piles and piles of useless and stupid paperwork :eek:
Things like this annoy the hell out of me.
Children are more at risk from people they know and until we start being open with them about what is right or appropriate behaviour we are failing.
We need to concentrate on teaching child to trust their instincts, if it feels wrong or they are uncomfortable then it probably is.
I would be very interested in finding out how the park's policies would work within Human Rights, surely as a law abiding adult I (we, you) have the right to walk in public areas unharrassed.
I would also be interested to know how many children were approached etc by lone adults in the park over the last year.
I have to agree with Starry, children are more at risk from family and friends of the family. Maybe it's about time something was added to the school curriculum to cover inappropriate behaviour to help children recognise it, my daughter's nursery class were given literature and a puppet show to teach the kids what was and was not acceptable. Wish I could remember the name of it.
George Brims
10-Sep-08, 18:51
the council that have banned ice cream vans from playing their jingle
Hooray for that one!
I have to agree with Starry, children are more at risk from family and friends of the family. Maybe it's about time something was added to the school curriculum to cover inappropriate behaviour to help children recognise it, my daughter's nursery class were given literature and a puppet show to teach the kids what was and was not acceptable. Wish I could remember the name of it.
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