funerals,

[Rie]

I have just come back from (if there can be one) a very enjoyable funeral/cremation.
Now i have been to my fair share of funerals and always find them sombre and depressing ,until friday that is,
My friend linda died of complications of a second liver transplat at the age of 54, a rock chic at heart her casket was brought in to stairway to heaven wich was tear jerking but the servicewas fantastic humerous and really did celebrate the lfe of a larger than life character and true friend ,
as the service came to a close lindas favorite songwas played i predict a riot" and instead of people being sad we all got up and gave linda one last dance, dancing infront of the coffin.
i know some will find it disrespectful but i found it fantastic and made it more as a final party for a friend rather than a sombre affair.
Just wondering if any oe else has attended an unusual funeral/cremation?????

[Max]

I think that sounds really good and it sounds like it's just what she would've wanted!

[Julia]

I think a funeral should be more a celebration of the person's life, I hope it catches on

[telfordstar]

I to think that sounds great and im sure she will of enjoyed such a wonderfull send off.

[golach]

Rie, I am sure Linda got the send off, she would have wished, I like to leave funerals with good and warm thoughts.

[hotrod4]

That sounds like a good funeral(if there is such a thing).
A funeral should be what the Deceased wanted not what the vicar wants. There is nothing worse than going to a funeral and seeing the minister having to refer to their notes cos they didnt know the person.
That one sounded a blast and just the way I want to go :)

[Bad Manners]

It's the way to go If you live a happy and joyfull life why not have a happy and joyfull funeral. You want your last memory to be happy not the sad down beat of a victorian funeral.

[stiggy]

Rie My cousin passed away last year he was the fifth member of my family in about 6 months and at his all his mates wore there football stripes and the girls looked like they were going out clubbing. As the curtains closed they all shouted cheers see you in the pub later.
My niece found this strange but we said it was a celebration of his young life and how he would like it.

[badger]

That sounds like a good funeral(if there is such a thing).
A funeral should be what the Deceased wanted not what the vicar wants. There is nothing worse than going to a funeral and seeing the minister having to refer to their notes cos they didnt know the person.
That one sounded a blast and just the way I want to go :)

Don't blame the Vicar - hardly their fault if they're asked to take the funeral of someone who never came to church and they don't know. In fact must be very difficult. Most priests I know go to a lot of trouble to find out about the deceased if they didn't know them and the service, hymns etc. are the choice of the family.

I much prefer funerals that are a celebration of life and have been to one or two Christian funerals that were joyful occasions. My mother insisted that the family should all go out together after hers and have a good meal at a hotel, which we did. It was a big family reunion and we enjoyed swapping memories of happy times. Must be hard to find anything to be happy about after the death of someone really young though.

[Venture]

Normal funerals can so depressing. As you say hotrod4 half the time the minister dosen't even know the person who has died. I think everyone should leave instructions as to how they want to be buried. The elderly amongst us think its disrespectful not to wear black nowadays to a funeral. Everything changes through time, and many people, particularly those who know they are dying, don't now want an old fashioned funeral. Good on your friend Linda, Rie, she had the right idea and people will remember her all the more for that. It shouldn't be all doom and gloom, after all they have supposedly gone to a better place and are free from pain. Like Julia I say funerals should be renamed "A Celebration of Life".

[Tugmistress]

I've only ever been to 2 funerals and both broke my heart. The first was my grandad, i wanted to follow his coffin as it went through the curtain to be burnt, i even got over one row of seats before my great uncle stopped me. My grandad was more like a dad to me and a best friend, he died when i was 13. The second was one of friends 2 year old little boy, i saw the wee white and gold coffin being taken out of the hearse and couldn't even go into the church as i couldn't stop crying, he was such a lovely little lad, so full of life and mischief and not a thing put him down, RIP Liam.
No disrespect to my nana (who is still alive and kicking and forever surprising me with visits) but the next funeral i go to will be my own, and i fully intend that one to be a hellfire party!

[Anne x]

That sounds like a good funeral(if there is such a thing).
A funeral should be what the Deceased wanted not what the vicar wants. There is nothing worse than going to a funeral and seeing the minister having to refer to their notes cos they didnt know the person.
That one sounded a blast and just the way I want to go :)


It not the Vicars fault He can only submit a Eulogy what he or She is given if the person is not known to the said Vicar it can be difficult

I have been at funerals when a minister a close family member or close friend is so overwhelmed by proceedings tears come

Vicars Ministers and the Clergy are human beings and can only deliver what they are given
At a time of complete misery like it or not they are the people looked up to and do there job very well sometimes in awful circumstances

[northener]

A friend of mine died a few years ago when we were living in Northamptonshire, he'd suffered with MS for many years, but it didn't stop him becoming a leading authority on the British Civil Wars.

He was cremated at a private service and then his ashes were marched up to the battlefield at Naseby (scene of the destruction of Charles 1st army in 1645).
And with full C17th military honours his ashes were blasted out of a cannon across the battlefield.

Way to go, Barry.;)

[Kevin Milkins]

I worked in the funeral industry for a number of years and got a good insight into many different religions and cultures.
There were some that I attended that made me loose the will to live myself, they were that gloomy.
I prefere the upbeat remember the good times type of service myself.
The budest funeral I found most interesting though.
I attended a funeral at Stourbridge crematorium many years ago and the family had chosen a track on a CD that was very dear to the deceased, but the crem staff unwittingly played the wrong track.
It was smoke gets in your eyes and I remember everybody looking at each other with shock horror.
It made the national headlines and it became policy with most crematoriams after that incident to only except recorded music as single track.

[Rheghead]

My father's funeral was 2 weeks ago, a very traditional funeral service. It never hit me about his death until walking out of the church. He never was a public person but he made a friend of everyone that he knew and the place was packed. My only disappointment about the whole thing was I would have liked to have met everyone who turned out to see Dad away but very few turned up at the wake except family and the friends from the Legion. I think at those type of funerals, the main mourners are too tied up in the strict procession of things to actually see what is around them.:~(

[Anne x]

Ah Rheggie what a lovely post It is impossible to meet and greet everyone just be glad that your Dad had a good turnout and people loved and respected him
that was my point in my post tradition dictates be it mourners or ministers
happy memories to you and yours

[porshiepoo]

My niece died a year ago, aged just 23, of cervical cancer and as devastating a loss as it was, and still is, I have to say the service was amazing and the vicar did an amazing job.
The casket was carried in to the tune that you often hear in war films (can't remember the name) which was extremely choking but we moved out of the crematorium to 'Buttercup Baby' (at my nieces request.) Apparantly it was her "getting ready to go clubbing" song and pretty much reminded us all of what a sense of humour she had.
Donna had to be the most courageous young lady that I've ever had the good fortune to know.

[TBH]

I worked in the funeral industry for a number of years and got a good insight into many different religions and cultures.
There were some that I attended that made me loose the will to live myself, they were that gloomy.
I prefere the upbeat remember the good times type of service myself.
The budest funeral I found most interesting though.
I attended a funeral at Stourbridge crematorium many years ago and the family had chosen a track on a CD that was very dear to the deceased, but the crem staff unwittingly played the wrong track.
It was smoke gets in your eyes and I remember everybody looking at each other with shock horror.
It made the national headlines and it became policy with most crematoriams after that incident to only except recorded music as single track.I remember that story in the papers many years ago as you said.

[brandy]

where i come from funerals are suppose to be a celebration of a persons life and we try to accept that it is only us that are left behind that suffer.
toms funeral was beautiful.
oliver did such a wonderful job with the service.
it must be extemly hard to say a service for a newborn, and hard for the people to come as no one likes to see a baby buried.
the things i remember most about toms service was that oliver spoke on how even though tom didnt get a big shot at life that he was deeply loved by his family. that he was a living child and that he would always be remembered. he talked about how king david lost an infant son in the bible, and how it can cause so much pain and grief but to remember that we will be together again one day.
he spoke of the love that we have for each other and how we could comfort each other.
sam and ben were there as well, and were included in everything.
we had about 50 people there for the service and it was so touching.
it was a good thing we were sitting in the front row as when everyone sang jesus loves me, ben started to sing at the top of his lungs.. then decided to lay in the floor with hands behind his head legs crossed t chill out.. we were trying not to giggle and laugh really!
shulders shaking.. don and i holding ono to each other.. im sure it looked like we were sobbing and holding on to each other for supprt.. as is prpper *grins* bu tin truth we were trying not to laugh !
after the funeal we came home and had tea and sandwiches and the kids were running around playing in thie sunday best, and i was talking to my friends as we watched them.
we spoke about how they were doing and what a nice service it was.
it got onto the subject on how light the mood was, and i told somene that it helped having the boys there. life goes on, and you can see the silver lining right in front of you with the kids there. their is a reason not to go into the ground with your lost loved one. its all the ones that are still here that keep you going.

[Welcomefamily]

I have always told my wife that I want an indian funeral if I go first, she has always made a point of saying she would like pop music and every body to have a good party after when she goes.
I known funerals are meant to be a celebration of life however I still get sadden by the lost.

[brandy]

my mate and i have spken about our funerals. .. shes says that no one is allowed to wear black. and everyone has to wear pink even the men! and please to dress her little girl and not let her father do it *G*
and its my job to make sure everyone wears pink or shes gonna haunt me!

[Bad Manners]

I have read all the comments and am surprised that so many like the idea of celebrating the life people had as well as quietly moarning their passing.
For me I have been to far to many funerals all bar two were full military honours, they were carried out acording to tradition and reverance however they were just formalities the real passing was when we celebrated their life,achivements and hopes. All of the friends I have lost enjoyed life to the max and woudnt want anyone to feel sad.
Onlookers would give us strange looks when we were celebrating the passing of a friend maybe it was not what they are used to but to us it was and is the right thing to do.

[joxville]

My oldest friend, Len*, passed away last Xmas and at his funeral the vicar told a few funny stories and jokes provided by those of us close to Len.
The music played was UB40 and Status Quo. He loved life, was always joking and those of us who knew him best gave him the funeral that he would have wanted.

Coincidentally, I was on way home from Somerset today and passed the crematorium where the service was held. Said hello to him as I passed.


*I hope you're causing mayhem up there you English git.[lol]

[Thumper]

I always talk about what I would like for my funeral,its not morbid,just organised.I want my make up done and hair done just the way i always have it and buried with my trainers on....if I end up walking around the afterlife for eternity I will have comfy feet!I want it to be a celebration of my life,not a sad day.I love flowers so I want loads of them,I also toy with the idea of having it "invitation only" as I hate the though of people who didnt like me in life to be hypocrites and go to my funeral!x

[joxville]

I've told all my family NOT to give me a funeral. When I'm gone, that's it, I am no more. Wherever I am living in the UK, and I move around often, some people are going to be inconvenienced. So to save any bother, my body, after any organs that can be used are removed, is to go from the mortuary straight to the crematorium and the ashes collected by whoever, to be scattered in Scotland in various places.

At a later date my family can get together and have a party in my memory.

[Valerie Campbell]

This isn't so much the funeral itself, but events after. I remember a guy who had died and wanted his ashes scattered by biker mates. So, on the appointed day, the guys picked up his ashes and they set to scatter them. While crossing the Forth Road Bridge, what happens? A gust of wind rips off the top of the urn and the ashes get blown onto the bikers following! They all reckoned the guy would have been laughing like mad, knowing his buddies had been caked in him!!

Also, thought this isn't comical, a friend of mine's sister-in-law died just before Christmas last year. Her husband and children took her ashes up to the north-west highlands and scattered them from a hill above a bay. As the ashes took to the skies, some dolphins appeared in the water, did a few dives and weren't seen again. I just thought that the family would have a wonderful memory because of this even though it was such a sad occasion.

[wifie]

Wow such a morbid subject made wonderful by all these lovely stories! My first experience of death was not so much the funeral but the do afterwards when my Papa died. I was amazed that it was more like a party but was so appropriate as he and my Nana were a fun couple with so many happy memories!
Jox I love your idea and also your trainers Thumper! ;) (Well not so much your trainers as the idea to wear them!)
I have said before on this forum that I wish my ashes to be made into a firework! I suppose I do not wish a funeral service either but I would like folk to get together to see my launch! :D
This does highlight tho that if you have strong ideas of what should happen upon your death you should express them in writing and make sure they will be found upon your passing!

[Bad Manners]

I'm with Wifie put you thoughts to paper so when the time comes people would know your thoughts and wishes rather that just guess.after all it's no binding you can change it at any time.But most of all I hope you dont have occasion to put it all in to practice for a long time

[domino]

Have been to many funerals but the ones I felt were best were the Humanist ones. i have been to many traditional funerals where it seems the Minister conducting it made little or no effort to find out anything about the deceased. Mine will be humanist

[Rie]

Just want to thank every one for sharing there thoughts and stories on this thread just sitting reading has helped cheer me up,
its nice to see that so many believe that it should be a life celebration.
It has certainly made me look more closely at my plans .

[horseman]

thanks for posting that one rie.first thing it brings up is memories-the whole huge gamut-we all have our treasured moments.an it dos'e no harm at all to go thru them again,I am unable to list them myself,to many to do justice to,but a smile a tear a giggle,mostly tears of course,but by heck there's happy moments an all.