Dead in her flat for a year

[Fran]

Did anyone watch "First Cut" on channel 4 tonight about people who die and no one knows about it? I was so saddened to watch how in 2 parts of Manchester, a young maN LAY DEAD IN HIS FLAT FOR MONTHS, AND A YOUNG WOMAn lay dead for a year in another flat.
How in a CROWDED, CONNECTED MODERN bRITAIN IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ANYONE TO DISSAPEAR AND THEN BE FOUND DEAD IN THEIR HOMES HAVING LAID THERE FOR MONTHS OR YEARS. ( sorry , my caps button is sticking).
Surely they would have some relative, or neighbours who would notice the persons curtains drawn or something. I dread that this could happen to me but i'm sure my neighbours would notice me missing, well i hope they would anyway, but my dog would soon alert them.
It is a terrible thing that poples families or former friends dont bother to keep in touch, and in these cases, they must have guilty concsience's.

[Aaldtimer]

It's an old problem. This is a link to a song written by Scot Eric Bogle in Australia a long time ago, maybe 25 years or more:- http://ericbogle.net/lyrics/lyricspdf/areasonforitall.pdf

There's been many cases since.

[Melancholy Man]

Obviously didn't have a television. The License bods would have broken down the door in weeks.

[KCI]

I dread that this could happen to me but i'm sure my neighbours would notice me missing, well i hope they would anyway, but my dog would soon alert them.
It is a terrible thing that poples families or former friends dont bother to keep in touch, and in these cases, they must have guilty concsience's.


Sounds like you are making out that only your neighbours would notice you missing, not your family?
Let's hope none of your family read this, eh? :roll:

[karia]

I watched this programme and it was very sad.

However both of the people featured had to some extent chosen to 'disappear' from society. The Nigerian man had outstayed his visa and the woman seems to have been very depressed and lived in her bedroom for some years after losing her family.

That they were 'in hiding' from the world is tragic and questions do need asked but it is hard to blame neighbours and friends when people through whatever sad circumstances elect to render themselves invisible.

[Torvaig]

You are right Karia; in today's world we don't know our neighbours in the same way anymore and it is especially more difficult if people are recluses, depressed or plain "keep themselves to themselves" kind of folks.

There is no easy answer apart from appointing a warden for each building who checks up on everyone and alerts the authorities if they don't get a response after a couple of days. I can just hear the old biddie who gets her door rattled on every so often complaining about not getting any peace around here!

And who would like to volunteer for such a job?

And what about people who live out in the country with no near neighbour watching their every move? This is why people like posties etc., are apt to keep an eye out for anything amiss and are often the first people to alert the services.

We can only do our best within reason and cannot beat ourselves up if it happens within our own neighbourhood. After all, if we are anyways aware of what is going on around us, we will find out one way or the other if so and so hasn't been seen for a few days.

[Bad Manners]

By enlarge Most of the people who end up in the same situation is primerily due to the fact they keep themselves hidden from all. There is help and there are agency's that could do something but they have to be allowed. It is sad than some people choose to lock themself away from the world around them but it is their choice.

All we can do is offer help where needed If refused we have to pick up the pieces at the end. Such is Life

[poppett]

When I stayed in flats in Leith we had a pod to scan to access the building. If this wasn`t used regularly then checks were made that the tenant was ok. If you were on holiday they kept a log and contact numbers for any problem whilst you were away. It certainly worked well for the elderly folk who lived there alone with no family to check up on them.

[purplelady]

It is scarey to think that could happen do worry bout that myself although i do have my 3 kids and one still lives with me as for my estranged husband think he he would not care

[Fran]

Sounds like you are making out that only your neighbours would notice you missing, not your family?
Let's hope none of your family read this, eh? :roll:

I think neighbours know more about a persons coming and goings than a family would, as they live next door and learn their neighbours routine etc, as I know my neighbours timings etc, A family who dont live in the same street wouldnt really know this and some families dont visit relatives on a regular basis.

[trix]

Sounds like you are making out that only your neighbours would notice you missing, not your family?


some people dina hev any faimly.....

[Angela]

I think it's a bit different when you live in a flat rather than a house -your comings and goings just aren't as visible. Nobody -apart from a real curtain twitcher -knows when you're in or out. There's no stopping to chat when someone's working in their garden - you don't usually have one!

I've lived at my present address for almost three years. There are six other flats in the same building and I know the inhabitants of three of these well enough to say hello to in passing -not much more than that. We have never swopped phone numbers or exchanged our spare keys. :( I'm not aware of ever seeing the others at all -and there is only one other person living in the whole street that I know to speak to.

I'm not a reclusive person -though I accept that some folk like to be left to their own devices -but I do live alone, and quite enjoy it. I get on well with my grown up kids and their partners, and though none of them live close by, I hear from one or other most days. Not every day though -and I must say I'd hate to feel that I was being 'checked up on'.

The folk I chat to daily in the local shops would miss me, and we stop for a blether on the street as well, but they don't all know exactly where I live, and as none of my friends live locally it would be a while before they wondered what had happened....when I didn't respond to a phone call or email. I have no reason to think I'll be suddenly taken seriously ill, though I do keep my mobile by my bed, and I don't climb ladders on my own.... just in case!

If you live alone, no matter how caring your friends and family might be, there's always a possibility, if a remote one, that you will be left 'lying there' for a while. There has to be a balance struck between a realistic degree of concern for someone's safety and allowing them their privacy as an adult individual.

It's a sad fact that some folk have nobody who cares what happens to them, but sometimes that is through their own choice. I'd have to admit I can't feel 'responsible' for the 'neighbours' I have never even met. In reality they are strangers! I would have no way of knowing at all if any of them had been taken ill or even died in their flat. It is very different from the sort of tenement life there used to be, when we were all in and out of each others flats -though even then there would always be some folk who didn't want to be involved and kept themselves to themselves.

I do think sometimes we can all have rather a rose tinted view of times past!:confused

[KCI]

some people dina hev any faimly.....


Hi Trix,

I know a lot of people don't have family, and I have a lot of sympathy for them. I can understand why they would worry about being on their own, and what would happen if something happened to them.

My comment was for and about Fran, regarding the comment she made about worrying in case something happened to her, and hoping that her neighbours would notice - no mention of her family etc. I was just making a point to Fran that she makes it sound as though she has no family, or that her family don't visit, which is not true, in her case.

[Fran]

I think you are missing my point. If you had seen the programme the two dead peoples friends/family were talking about them, and I felt they should have been to visit in the year that one personlay dead.I didnt mention if i have family or not, it is not about me or families visiting, it was about the programme and the two dead people lying there so long without neighbours noticing.I certainly didnt make it sound as if I have no family, I think most people on here know I have one member of family in Caithness.
I think in most cases, neighbours would be the first to know and they would notify the family, in fact I know this happens. Also people can go away for a few days or a week and their families dont even know. I just think we should be more aware of our neighbours etc and keep a watchout for them, and this is the point i was making.
And yes I do worry incase something happens to me and hope the neighbours would notice because i live alone, and two of my former neighbours died suddenly in their homes, but they were not left long ....the neighbours noticed.

[TBH]

Personally I dont really care if I die and nobody 'discovers me for weeks, months, years, I will be dead, it wont matter.

[sassylass]

Personally I dont really care if I die and nobody 'discovers me for weeks, months, years, I will be dead, it wont matter.

It wouldn't matter to you, but think about the person who would find you! :eek:

[karia]

I think you are missing my point. If you had seen the programme the two dead peoples friends/family were talking about them, and I felt they should have been to visit in the year that one personlay dead..

The Nigerian chap's family were still in Nigeria and apparently used to not hearing from him for long periods and the friend they interviewed had been at his first University with him and then seen him only once afterwards ..... a chance meeting in the street.

The woman had been rehoused after the death of her father and social services had been unable to tell her sister (who was anxious to find her) where she was living. The friends interviewed in this case were from school and this woman was now 42. Again they only occasionally saw her in the street or the shops.

[trix]

i take great comfort in knowin that here (in weik) we hev these 'angels' who go roond 'our elderly' on a regular basis throughoot the day.

these angels are called home carers.

i ken that they are appreciated by our elderly an that 'e poor souls widna survive withoot their 'angels' visits.

as for the rest o' society its lek Ak says, if they exclude themsels fie society then unfortunately that can be expected. in a small place lek weik its unlekly til happen.

ma brither worked wi 'e elderly a few years ago an went in til a manies hoose til pick him up for his day care. poor man wis found deid, lyin against 'e heater where he had fallen an banged his heid.

if it wisna ma brither that found him 'at mornin, its guaranteed that an 'angel' wid o' found him a few oers later.

only a short time ago an orger voiced her concerns aboot an elderly couple who were probly in need o' regular visits from 'angels'. by voicin her concerns and actualy contactin 'e social she has invited 'angels' intil their lives an improved their quality o' life, withoot reasonable doubt.

weel done...