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badger
22-Aug-08, 23:19
Yesterday afternoon I heard my mobile ringing but was unable to reach it in time to answer it so picked up voice mail a minute later. The voice sounded like a very elderly confused man mumbling a few words and apparently thinking he was talking to someone he knew well. I guessed he was confused by my recorded message. About half an hour later the phone rang again, again I missed it and again another very short confused message. I thought I recognised the voice so looked back in my log and, not having cleared it for a while, found the same number a few months ago and remembered that time I had phoned him back and explained that he had a wrong number. I was concerned then that he thought he had left a message for someone he knew and wanted to let him know that he had not.

This time I decided there was no point phoning him back but I was still concerned about him so Googled the dialling code and found the area he came from (in Yorkshire). Looked up the local police station but that, like so many, was closed in the afternoons. Next stop was Social Services and having eventually got the right office I told my story and said I was worried that there was an old man somewhere who was trying to contact family or friend and might need help. After all we hear of old people living and dying alone and not being found sometimes for weeks and always the cry goes up “why didn’t the neighbours do something?” I’m hardly a neighbour but …..

Social Services were less than helpful – can’t contact people if they’re not on their books. I should have phoned the police. I pointed out that the police station was closed. Eventually the third person I spoke to said he would consult his manager. He did phone me back, presumably to check that I was genuine and that was the last I heard. All I wanted was for someone to phone the number I gave them and make sure everything was OK, but apparently that’s not allowed.

What would you have done? Was I interfering or should I have done more? I just wish I knew the outcome.

Welcomefamily
22-Aug-08, 23:25
Age Concern might have been more helpful.

Melancholy Man
22-Aug-08, 23:33
The Samaritans.

wifie
23-Aug-08, 00:22
Was there not another number for the police you could have called? Was good of you to check it out tho - poor old guy - could have been a simple explanation but then again like you say it could have been a cry for help.

Torvaig
23-Aug-08, 00:34
If you just telephone your local police, they would know how to get in touch with the appropriate station to follow up on whatever information you could give them to help look into the situation.

Hopefully it was just someone with a drammie who keeps hitting the wrong digits with his digits!

Fran
23-Aug-08, 01:28
The emergency number for social services would have helped, you could have got it on here. It was very thoughtful of you to go to the trouble. Hope the old boy is ok.

Margaret M.
23-Aug-08, 02:44
Was I interfering

Not interfering, just caring. I am surprised that police stations are not open 24/7.

teenybash
23-Aug-08, 11:02
No you are not interfering and doing what is right. Have you tried ringing the number back....... you might be able to get a name etc and keep trying to contact police to check the old gentleman is okay.

bobandag16
23-Aug-08, 11:13
Not interfering, just caring. I am surprised that police stations are not open 24/7.
the police force is under manned under funded for care and welfare of the population .area ratio. only emergency 999 get any reponse. day to day .hard.

badger
23-Aug-08, 11:17
No you are not interfering and doing what is right. Have you tried ringing the number back....... you might be able to get a name etc and keep trying to contact police to check the old gentleman is okay.

I did call him back the first time but don’t think he really understood what I was saying, in fact he obviously didn’t or I would not have had the calls on Thursday. Would he have given his name to a total stranger?

I'm afraid police stations being open for limited hours is common now although of course it's always possible to find a bigger town one open. I accept all the suggestions but am afraid I spent so long hanging on various lines for Social Services, having chosen the one that dealt with the elderly, I felt it was up to them to do something. Maybe they did, I don't know.

With hindsight I could have tried Age Concern or another charity but am not convinced they would not have the same rules as Social Services - can any organisation cold call a number just on the basis of a telephone call from a stranger?

I see Fran has just posted about bodies being found after a long time. People keep themselves to themselves so much these days it's not surprising. Also many people would not want an organisation of any kind deciding they were maybe not coping. I think I would rather die alone in my home than spend my last days sitting in an armchair watching someone else's choice of tv or be kept alive in a hospital bed when I believe my time has come. Families are made to feel guilty and feel they have to do something, anything. I don't know.

wifie
23-Aug-08, 12:00
Och badger I am feelin yer pain here - bottom line is a lot of people just don't care these days. Or the ones that should have their hands tied by red tape! All you tried to do was the right thing - YOU CARED!

Fran
24-Aug-08, 01:45
I hope if I ever had a stroke and used my mobile for help, that it would be you I got Badger, and if I mumbled rubbish because of a stroke, i would be very happy if you called the police or anyone to come and help me.I would just be so happy that someone cared .

katarina
24-Aug-08, 10:49
you did the right thing badger. and i'm with you there fran.

Welcomefamily
24-Aug-08, 11:10
At least you done something many people these days would have just ignored it.

Fran
25-Aug-08, 01:57
I found the police helpful some weeks ago, not in caithness, when my mother fell in her home at 10.30pm and I could not get her up. the more i tried lifting her the more anxious she became. I phoned the local police station...an answering machine.....and eventually got to speak to someone. Two policeman soon arrived and lifted her up and were very kind.