Fran
21-Dec-05, 02:55
to my online friends, my heartfelt appreciation goes to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. thankyou for making me feel safe, secure and wealthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes as i have to go and get a wet towel every time i need to seal an envelope. Also, i scrub the top of every can i open for the same reason.
Because of your concern I no longer drink coca cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because i could be pricked with a needle and infected with aids.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
i no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which i will get a phone bill with calls to uganda and Uzbekistan.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last count i have 500,000 angels looking out for me. thanks to you, i have learned that god only answers my prayers if i forward an e-mail to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.
i want to thank you for looking out for me so i will return the favour. if you dont send this e-mail to at least 144,ooo people in the next 7 minutes, a large scourrie with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 5pm this afternoon. i know this will happen because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbours ex mother in laws second husbands cousins beautician.
Happy christmas and a good new year to you all.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes as i have to go and get a wet towel every time i need to seal an envelope. Also, i scrub the top of every can i open for the same reason.
Because of your concern I no longer drink coca cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because i could be pricked with a needle and infected with aids.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
i no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which i will get a phone bill with calls to uganda and Uzbekistan.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last count i have 500,000 angels looking out for me. thanks to you, i have learned that god only answers my prayers if i forward an e-mail to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.
i want to thank you for looking out for me so i will return the favour. if you dont send this e-mail to at least 144,ooo people in the next 7 minutes, a large scourrie with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 5pm this afternoon. i know this will happen because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbours ex mother in laws second husbands cousins beautician.
Happy christmas and a good new year to you all.