View Full Version : smoking.
cuddlepop
15-Aug-08, 16:28
would you go out with someone who smoked .
would you finish with some one who wouldnt stop smoking.
How important is it to you non smokers that you Oh doesnt smoke?
We've been together 5 years and I'm at the stage that even when he lights up in the car I want to get out.
I really,really hate this disgusting habit.[disgust]
thnkfully, my other half doesnt smoke, s we wouldnt be together if he did, i cant stand it just the smell, i know when he takes our youngest over to his sister, they both come back stinking, as both his sister and her partner smoke, it is such a disgusting habbit.
As a singleton who has recently quit smoking after 30 years I'd have to say I wouldn't like to go out with someone who does smoke. Not that I'm against it, live and let live, but I don't want to be in company where I'm likely to start again.
In case you're wondering, all my ex's were smokers, however ex-wife and 2 ex-GF's quit after we split. Is it me? [lol]
I quit 10 years ago when I married my non smoking OH as it didn't seem fair expecting him to put up with it. Even though he never complained I knew he hated it.
I couldn't live with a smoker now and the last time someone smoked in my house I had to leave it for 2 hours to 'air' with the windows open before I could stand being in it again. So now I just don't allow smoking in my house or car.
I wouldn't leave my husband if he started smoking...but he would be getting better acquainted with the garden.;)
I was in the same situation as you. Boyfriend (now husband) smoked since he was about 9. Would not stop for the majority of the time we we have been together. "I was a smoker when we met, why should I stop because you don't like it"....I nagged and gurned for years. Eventually over the past couple of years, since our son was born, he finally took the hint. He is now on minty prescription tablets having tried the patches which he took a reaction to.
When he smoked he thought that taking a mint sweet or mouthwash would mask the smell, he could not understand it was the smell of his clothes rather than his breath I abhored (don't start me on the health issues). He also thought it was OK to smoke in the car with the window open...nope the car still smells. I have never allowed smoking in the house, why should my house smell like an ashtray. Anyone who knows me knows that its a non-starter.
Rant over...but must say congratulations to my other half as he has been stopped for months now. Life is so much easier as I no longer need to nag but do have to collect his prescription but thats a small price to pay for a healthy, fresh smelling husband.
arana negra
15-Aug-08, 16:50
Neither of us smoke, both my sons started,one has since stopped so has his wife, the other still smokes, his partner seems not to bother about. I used to but gave up 30 some years ago and nothing would induce to start again. My husband and I have bad reactions to cigarette smoke, our house is non smoking and so are the garden areas near the house. He would dream of starting.
cuddlepop
15-Aug-08, 16:50
I was in the same situation as you. Boyfriend (now husband) smoked since he was about 9. Would not stop for the majority of the time we we have been together. "I was a smoker when we met, why should I stop because you don't like it"....I nagged and gurned for years. Eventually over the past couple of years, since our son was born, he finally took the hint. He is now on minty prescription tablets having tried the patches which he took a reaction to.
When he smoked he thought that taking a mint sweet or mouthwash would mask the smell, he could not understand it was the smell of his clothes rather than his breath I abhored (don't start me on the health issues). He also thought it was OK to smoke in the car with the window open...nope the car still smells. I have never allowed smoking in the house, why should my house smell like an ashtray. Anyone who knows me knows that its a non-starter.
Rant over...but must say congratulations to my other half as he has been stopped for months now. Life is so much easier as I no longer need to nag but do have to collect his prescription but thats a small price to pay for a healthy, fresh smelling husband.
Whats really annoyed me is that he promised he would try to stop and was down to 10 a day but since he started work on the lorry his smoking has increased.
I've tried resricting his disposable income,on his insistence which didnt work as he just asks me for fag money or uses tip money.
I'm suppose to be going down to Glasgow tomorrow and that'll be 5 hrs in the car nonstop with like you say the window open so i wont smell the fags.:roll:
It doesnt work even if we stop the car and he goes out for a fag as he brings the stink in with me.
To say its me or your fags seems very melodramatic though.:confused
I've just checked back on the date when I last smoked. It was ten weeks ago yesterday but have to admit I still think occassionally that I would like one.
cuddlepop
15-Aug-08, 17:04
I've just checked back on the date when I last smoked. It was ten weeks ago yesterday but have to admit I still think occassionally that I would like one.
He assures me that if he managed the first 24 hours without a fag he'd have cracked it.
He suggested dropped on a deserted island somewhere,anyone know a friendly fisherman.:lol:
Well done you for stopping.
He assures me that if he managed the first 24 hours without a fag he'd have cracked it.
Not a chance!
OH has been stopped for over 2 years, maybe 3. He bought a packet the other day as he liked the 'odd' cigarette. Well, he was on 2 a day from that moment and couldn't see that he was going to end up right back where he started!! [disgust]
Bad Manners
15-Aug-08, 17:26
My OH used to smoke non stop at work then stopped for a whole year however she has started again just two or three a day, however she has to go outside no matter what the weather and she has to spray with perfume before she gets back in the house. I do not mind her smoking it is just the smell. as for smoking in the car she has No chance, maybe she will give up again now that the summer's nearly over
cuddlepop
15-Aug-08, 17:32
i wonder if there are any smokers out there who hate it as much as non smokers?:confused
My brother pretended he'd stopped but girlfiend knew he hadnt .
The deceit was worse than the smoking.:~(
Ok I will fess up....I smoke,but I hate the smell of it!I do not allow anybody to smoke in my house and I hate going to peoples houses where they smoke.I stopped for FIVE years and stupidly went back on it.I dont smoke in the car either x
cuddlepop
15-Aug-08, 17:45
Ok I will fess up....I smoke,but I hate the smell of it!I do not allow anybody to smoke in my house and I hate going to peoples houses where they smoke.I stopped for FIVE years and stupidly went back on it.I dont smoke in the car either x
Oh thumper 5 years why on earth did you start again .:confused
I think the legislation will be passed in the not to distant future that you wont be allowed to smoke in your own car as its a distraction.
It seems the government are hell bent on stubbing out smoking.
How will the raise all that lost revenue?
Whops I've gone off thread.:lol:
The usual excuse Cuddlepop.I was having a bad time in my life and turned to fags to help the "stress" stupid of me really :mad: x
Tugmistress
15-Aug-08, 19:29
I smoke, i smoke in my house, i smoke in my car, i smoke outside, if i had a significant other that i thought so very much about that didn't smoke I would try to stop for both our sakes,no promises made i don't know i can keep, but i don't so I shan't because I don't want to.
You can all jump on the anti smoking bandwagon and tell me i am a fool, i am selfish, i am ruining my life, my health and all the others things i've heard a thousand and one times, but until a reason comes along that makes me want to stop smoking then i will continue as i am.
northener
15-Aug-08, 20:16
I smoke, i smoke in my house, i smoke in my car, i smoke outside, if i had a significant other that i thought so very much about that didn't smoke I would try to stop for both our sakes,no promises made i don't know i can keep, but i don't so I shan't because I don't want to.
You can all jump on the anti smoking bandwagon and tell me i am a fool, i am selfish, i am ruining my life, my health and all the others things i've heard a thousand and one times, but until a reason comes along that makes me want to stop smoking then i will continue as i am.
How about stop smoking or I'll shoot you?:)
I smoke, i smoke in my house, i smoke in my car, i smoke outside, if i had a significant other that i thought so very much about that didn't smoke I would try to stop for both our sakes,no promises made i don't know i can keep, but i don't so I shan't because I don't want to.
You can all jump on the anti smoking bandwagon and tell me i am a fool, i am selfish, i am ruining my life, my health and all the others things i've heard a thousand and one times, but until a reason comes along that makes me want to stop smoking then i will continue as i am.
That was my attitude too Tugs. For years having family or workmates telling me I should stop but just to be bloody awkward I carried on smoking. I finally did it because I wanted too although I sought help to do it. There are others around me that smoke but not once have I said to them to stop or complained about the smell. If you choose to smoke then I support your right to do so-it's not illegal yet.
Well said Tug, i agree but must admit I am on the verge of stopping. No pressure from anyone.
Kevin Milkins
15-Aug-08, 20:36
13 months as a no smoker has changed the way we see smoking.
After 35 years of dedication to the fag both my wife and I gave up.
It used to make me angry when non smokers used to winge all the time about us smoking but now I do see the point.
Although I dont give smokers a hard time I would avoid being in close proximety to someone smoking and would not allow smoking in my car.
Tugmistress
15-Aug-08, 20:37
That was my attitude too Tugs. For years having family or workmates telling me I should stop but just to be bloody awkward I carried on smoking. I finally did it because I wanted too although I sought help to do it. There are others around me that smoke but not once have I said to them to stop or complained about the smell. If you choose to smoke then I support your right to do so-it's not illegal yet.
i don't do it just to be awkward, i actually enjoy it, as i say i will stop when i want to if i stop at all. i just wish so many people didn't act so high and mighty about smokers. Nice one jox for not forcing an opinion on your mates etc, as i am sure you know that is one thing that really gets up smokers noses (including the tar lol).
It's a truly disgusting, vile, stinky, selfish habit.
It's a truly disgusting, vile, stinky, selfish habit.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa296/jmbudge/banana-dance.gif
Almost as bad as peeing on yourself. [lol]
Why would any right thinking person dump a loving other half because they smoked?
Whitewater
15-Aug-08, 23:03
I used to be a very heavy smoker, I have been stoped now for about 31 yrs. I smoked since I was 12yrs old. For my generation smoking was not a dirty habit, it was sophisticated and suave, there were no health warnings. Having been a smoker myself I do not have a problem with people that smoke. My wife has never smoked, she did not have a problem when I smoked and I certainly would not have had a problem had she been a smoker. Some peoples reaction on this thread I think is a bit over the top. Sure, it's not a nice habit and it stinks, but when I meet somebody for the first time I try to get to know the person, not their habits, and if I like them I do not care whether they smoke or not.
There is no reason now to begin smoking, the damage it does to your health is well recorded and documented, all you can see on a packet of cigarettes is the health warning. My daughter and her husband both smoke, not too many cigatettes but enough to be hooked. I can't say I'm too happy with it, but I won't fall out with then over it. It is also a very difficult habit to give up, and anyone who struggles with the withdrawl symptoms has my sympathy.
My avice now is not to begin, but none smokers should not get their knickers in a twist about it, if you have energy to shout and gurn at smokers, transfer it to the tobacco companies or to the government, get the government to ban tobacco, they keep telling us how bad it is for our health and pretend to be doing something about by raising the price, when in fact all they are doing is raising more revenue for themselves.
I used to be a very heavy smoker, I have been stoped now for about 31 yrs. I smoked since I was 12yrs old. For my generation smoking was not a dirty habit, it was sophisticated and suave, there were no health warnings. Having been a smoker myself I do not have a problem with people that smoke. My wife has never smoked, she did not have a problem when I smoked and I certainly would not have had a problem had she been a smoker. Some peoples reaction on this thread I think is a bit over the top. Sure, it's not a nice habit and it stinks, but when I meet somebody for the first time I try to get to know the person, not their habits, and if I like them I do not care whether they smoke or not.
There is no reason now to begin smoking, the damage it does to your health is well recorded and documented, all you can see on a packet of cigarettes is the health warning. My daughter and her husband both smoke, not too many cigatettes but enough to be hooked. I can't say I'm too happy with it, but I won't fall out with then over it. It is also a very difficult habit to give up, and anyone who struggles with the withdrawl symptoms has my sympathy.
My avice now is not to begin, but none smokers should not get their knickers in a twist about it, if you have energy to shout and gurn at smokers, transfer it to the tobacco companies or to the government, get the government to ban tobacco, they keep telling us how bad it is for our health and pretend to be doing something about by raising the price, when in fact all they are doing is raising more revenue for themselves.Excellent post. If someone was on crack cocaine when I met them then I might reconsider my relationship with them but if they were a smoker then I would put up with it. Hell, why are smokers becoming the new pariah?
bettedaviseyes
15-Aug-08, 23:27
i'v tryed to stop it but its blooming hard even more so when out having a dram with friends[disgust]:roll:
(KNOW WILL POWER)
I agree with whitewater's post. The dangers of tobacco were well documented before I started smoking in 1976, yet 32 years later they are still readily accessable if I so desire. If any government were truly serious about wanting the nation to be non-smokers they would ban it outright.
teenybash
15-Aug-08, 23:39
Aagh, there's nothing like the rich aroma of a good tobacco.................................:p
What are the true cost figures North and South of the border of treating patients with smoking related illness compared to the revenue raised in tax on cigarettes?
Aagh, there's nothing like the rich aroma of a good tobacco.................................:pCould be worse, it could be the rich aroma of cocaine. Could be the rich aroma of Alcohol before someone gets a fist in the face from some alcohol addled anal retentive.
teenybash
16-Aug-08, 00:11
Wonder if there will ever be a thread attacking and highlighting the dangers of alcohol with the problems it causes in society and part it plays in domestic abuse....................having a quiet cigarette in your own home or car is nobodys business.......:eek:
Wonder if there will ever be a thread attacking and highlighting the dangers of alcohol with the problems it causes in society and part it plays in domestic abuse....................having a quiet cigarette in your own home or car is nobodys business.......:eek:You are so right but it appears even the partners of smokers are eyeing them with supsicion wondering whether they should dump them or not.
You are so right but it appears even the partners of smokers are eyeing them with supsicion wondering whether they should dump them or not.
Maybe we'll start seeing smoking as grounds for divorce-unreasonable behaviour being cited in the petition.
teenybash
16-Aug-08, 00:19
You are so right but it appears even the partners of smokers are eyeing them with supsicion wondering whether they should dump them or not.
Maybe the partnership has already gone up in a puff of smoke and the humble cig is a bit of a smoke screen concealing deeper issues.....:(
Maybe the partnership has already gone up in a puff of smoke and the humble cig is a bit of a smoke screen concealing deeper issues.....:(Well I did think it would take a bit more than one partner having a habit of smoking to break up a loving relationship.
Margaret M.
16-Aug-08, 02:42
Well I did think it would take a bit more than one partner having a habit of smoking to break up a loving relationship.
I can understand a nasty addiction becoming a bone of contention and causing a strain on a relationship. Putting one's own health at risk is one's own business, but it is totally selfish to subject anyone else to the smoky stench.
cuddlepop
16-Aug-08, 09:44
I can understand a nasty habit becoming a bone of contention and causing a strain on a relationship. Putting one's own health at risk is one's own business, but it is totally selfish to subject anyone else to the smoky stench.
Smoking costs money that could be spend elsewhere.It makes your clothes and any other area you frequent stink.You but yourself and others health at risk.
The benifits as far as I'm aware are to the government financialy and the individual mentally.
Oh enjoys smoking and I hate it so should me as an individual endure something that can and does affect my health.
I suffer from terrible sinisitus which has got worse since we've been together.
Its the old adage of loving someone but not being able to live with them me thinks.:(
Welcomefamily
16-Aug-08, 21:57
My OH does not like me smoking, I smoke outside as I feel its only right to take account of her feelings.
My OH does not like me smoking, I smoke outside as I feel its only right to take account of her feelings.
I'm a smoker who doesn't care if anyone smokes in my company...........but I have no problem understanding the complaints of people who have never smoked, and accommodating them as in smoking in my daughter's garden rather than the house...............but what gets up my left nostril are those ex-smokers who whine about smokers endangering the health of others....when I have never yet, in the forty four years I have been smoking, met anyone at all who has quit for the benefit of their friends, workmates, acquaintances or the folk next to them in the pub................so why would they think that others would?
Kevin Milkins
17-Aug-08, 10:07
I'm a smoker who doesn't care if anyone smokes in my company...........but I have no problem understanding the complaints of people who have never smoked, and accommodating them as in smoking in my daughter's garden rather than the house...............but what gets up my left nostril are those ex-smokers who whine about smokers endangering the health of others....when I have never yet, in the forty four years I have been smoking, met anyone at all who has quit for the benefit of their friends, workmates, acquaintances or the folk next to them in the pub................so why would they think that others would?
As an Ex smoker I tottaly agree with you Oddquine, however we went down to watch the pipe band and dancers in Wick market sqaure last night.
The display was as always fantastic and mother in law and grandaughter both thrilled.
The only thing that spoilt it for me and wifie were some youngsters that were smoking up wind of us.
If ,when I was a smoker someone had said its not nice smoking in company outdoors I would have laughed out loud.
We went to Bournmouth a few years ago and part off the beech there is non smoking and I could not beleive it. I can appreiciate it now as a non smoker.
Hope I dont sound like an hypocryte even if I somtimes feel like one.
I think its priceless that you are not allowed to smoke in public places. So why is it OK to smoke in the doorways of said public places with the doors open. This allows the smoke in and means that customers entering or exiting the establishment have to walk through the fug of smoke. Arrgghhh.
Wetherspoons take note you are one of the worst culprits for letting this happen.
cuddlepop
17-Aug-08, 13:48
Smoking.
Wanting to remove ourselves from the reality of an emotion or situation by creating a smoke screen.Taking in life in a toxic way.Difficulty breathing in joy.Imbalance between feeling and thinking.
Well do any smokers agree.Its from a spiritual magazine,its not mine.
Oh agrees its pretty accurate.
Fingers crossed he gets a job with NHS then he'll have to stop as its a disiplinary offence to be caught smoking.:eek:
Wanting to remove ourselves from the reality of an emotion or situation by creating a smoke screen.Taking in life in a toxic way.Difficulty breathing in joy.Imbalance between feeling and thinking.
Pretty much what the hypnotherapist that I saw told me, so yes, I would agree.
I have to say, there is nothing i LOVE better than a Fag and a cup of coffee in the morning, i sets me up just nice.... Im fully awear that smoking has it many downfalls and is a serious risk to health......... but when the kids are running you round the bend and you OH is being his ussual charming self, a quick wee fag works wonders.
and my moto is everyones aloud at least one naughty vice to see them through the day............. and seens as i dont drink at all, I will smoke as many fags as i can........
I think its priceless that you are not allowed to smoke in public places. So why is it OK to smoke in the doorways of said public places with the doors open. This allows the smoke in and means that customers entering or exiting the establishment have to walk through the fug of smoke. Arrgghhh.
Wetherspoons take note you are one of the worst culprits for letting this happen.
I couldn't agee more. We had stopped going to a favourite small restaurant because the smoke was awful. When they brought in the smoking indoors ban here we went back to the restaurant and were disappointed to find that the smokers just stood by the open door and the smoke still stank up the place.
What I don't understand is if the smoking ban has been brought in, there are adverts to help you stop smoking, the NHS provider services and support to people who wish to give up, people are well aware of the dangers, smoking adverts on TV have been banned.......
WHY do people take up the habit?
WHY do people continue the habit?
WHY do they not use the smoking cessation services?
WHY do people continue to smoke in doorways where non-smokers wish to enter?
WHY do people continue to smoke in areas where children congregate such as their own home?
Anyone enlighten me?
Margaret M.
18-Aug-08, 13:58
Anyone enlighten me?
Weegie just did: 'but when the kids are running you round the bend and you OH is being his ussual charming self, a quick wee fag works wonders.' :)
I'm a smoker who doesn't care if anyone smokes in my company...........but I have no problem understanding the complaints of people who have never smoked, and accommodating them as in smoking in my daughter's garden rather than the house...............but what gets up my left nostril are those ex-smokers who whine about smokers endangering the health of others....when I have never yet, in the forty four years I have been smoking, met anyone at all who has quit for the benefit of their friends, workmates, acquaintances or the folk next to them in the pub................so why would they think that others would?
I stopped because I don't want my kids smoking. Both my parents smoked and I think that although it's not the only reason I started, subconsciously, it does send subliminal messages....
Now I can't believe I ever did it in the first place!!!! It's a ridiculous habit. However, I don't think I'd leave my partner if he started. He would be relegated to the garden though :), come Hell or high water.
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