View Full Version : Partner opening your email..right or wrong?
teenybash
09-Aug-08, 15:55
Recently I emailed a close relative and was surprised to receive a reply from her partner, who had opened the email. I am shocked and feel that my privacy has been invaded...I am presuming she knows he does this.
In the past I have confided in her and now feel I can no longer do this....which is a shame as we do not see each other very often, because of distance.
How would you feel and is it okay for parnters to open each others emails.....:confused
Absolutely agree a partner should not open an email, same as a partner shouldn't open a private letter. I'd feel uneasy too in a similar situation.
No, it shouldn't be done. Neither should you read a partners texts.
Sorry, but I disagree, my other half gets to read all my mail, and if she wanted to, has my permission to read all my E-Mails and any of my text messages, we have been married for nearly 45 years, what have we got to hide from each other?
Sapphire2803
09-Aug-08, 16:13
Hubby and I wouldn't dream of opening each other's emails or post, nor would we read each other's texts. No way, no how!
It's just wrong, everyone needs privacy.
My hubby and myself read each others emails as we do not use this to send or recieve very personal information and have no qualms about it,messages recieved on the mobile that belongs to him are also open to me as if he is driving, I answer the darn contraption!
Personal mail we do not open but are quite happy to share any information of a general nature although we reserve the right not to disclose very personal and private details from the sender.
Telephone calls are however a private matter and we would not dream of eavesdropping on each other but again will share general information if it is necessary or relevant.
Sapphire2803
09-Aug-08, 16:33
Don't get me wrong, we have nothing to hide from each other. We could open each other's mail etc, we just wouldn't.
Anyway, quite often it wouldn't be our own privacy which is protected, it would be that of the person emailing/texting us.
teenybash
09-Aug-08, 16:39
Don't get me wrong, we have nothing to hide from each other. We could open each other's mail etc, we just wouldn't.
Anyway, quite often it wouldn't be our own privacy which is protected, it would be that of the person emailing/texting us.
I agree with you Sapphire........I feel my privacy has been invaded and am now very apprehensive about saying anything other than 'How is your weather?'.......sad really...........
I will ask my OH to check my emails or read texts on my phone, but I would never expect him to do it without him being asked to. If I was in regular contact with friends via email, then I wouldn't ask him to incase they were emailing about a private matter that was of no significance to him.
Tighsonas4
09-Aug-08, 17:23
Sorry, but I disagree, my other half gets to read all my mail, and if she wanted to, has my permission to read all my E-Mails and any of my text messages, we have been married for nearly 45 years, what have we got to hide from each other?
having 14 more years to add to golachs mine can go ahead as its her privelege to attend to the replys as for e mails she would need someone to switch the a computer on first lol tony
cuddlepop
09-Aug-08, 17:36
We have an understanding that when the other is away we check emails and ask the other if they want them opened.
Unless asked to opening mail is much the same.
replying to an email unless it was addressed to us both is a strict no no.
I would never think of looking into my hubbies email account although I know he wouldn't mind. It has nothing to do with me. It would be like opening personal letters. Just because it's email or a text does not change the idea of privacy.
@teenybash If your friends hubby was able to read her mail then they either share the same address and they both access the account, or she has shared her password with him. But I can understand your feelings though because she should have told you that her hubby could read her emails. The more worrying thing would be if she didn't know.
teenybash
09-Aug-08, 17:57
I would never think of looking into my hubbies email account although I know he wouldn't mind. It has nothing to do with me. It would be like opening personal letters. Just because it's email or a text does not change the idea of privacy.
@teenybash If your friends hubby was able to read her mail then they either share the same address and they both access the account, or she has shared her password with him. But I can understand your feelings though because she should have told you that her hubby could read her emails. The more worrying thing would be if she didn't know.
Thanks, I am presuming she knows but chose not to say to me.....they have separate emails and she knows she can confide anything to me and I, naively, thought I could do the same...but we all live and learn.:roll:
Sorry, but I disagree, my other half gets to read all my mail, and if she wanted to, has my permission to read all my E-Mails and any of my text messages, we have been married for nearly 45 years, what have we got to hide from each other?
I agree with you my partner and i have been together 10 years (not married:confused). we have no desire to look at each others mail, emails ect but if i or he wanted to look it wouldn't be a problem, I don't see nothing wrong with it.
Its just depend some couples like to have seperate emails and like them to remain private to them and other couples like to share there emails or even use the same email address i guess its up to them what they do but if they are sharing the same email address they should tell there friends and relatives so people are aware.
Teeny bash why dont u ask her if she shares her email with her partner because for all you no your friend might have casual talked about u to her partner and maybey he doesnt read her emails.
How many times do u get people talking to u and they tell u a bit of gossip about someone and tell u not to tell anyone and then the first u do u go of and tell someone and say the same just the way the world is.
The way i see it if someone is gossiping about me it gives someone else a rest
Teenybash when ever sending any emails you should never send an email unless your prepared to stand up and be open about it its to easy for the person getting the email to hit print or forward it on to someone.?
telfordstar
09-Aug-08, 18:20
Sorry, but I disagree, my other half gets to read all my mail, and if she wanted to, has my permission to read all my E-Mails and any of my text messages, we have been married for nearly 45 years, what have we got to hide from each other?
I agree with you Golach although i havnt been married for nearly as long its very true what you say.
Sapphire2803
09-Aug-08, 18:23
I agree with you Golach although i havnt been married for nearly as long its very true what you say.
Yes that is true, but the point is not so much whether a couple have anything to hide from each other.
What about the sender? If someone sends you a confidential email and your partner reads it, then you have betrayed their confidence.
teenybash
09-Aug-08, 18:39
Its just depend some couples like to have seperate emails and like them to remain private to them and other couples like to share there emails or even use the same email address i guess its up to them what they do but if they are sharing the same email address they should tell there friends and relatives so people are aware.
Teeny bash why dont u ask her if she shares her email with her partner because for all you no your friend might have casual talked about u to her partner and maybey he doesnt read her emails.
How many times do u get people talking to u and they tell u a bit of gossip about someone and tell u not to tell anyone and then the first u do u go of and tell someone and say the same just the way the world is.
The way i see it if someone is gossiping about me it gives someone else a rest
Teenybash when ever sending any emails you should never send an email unless your prepared to stand up and be open about it its to easy for the person getting the email to hit print or forward it on to someone.?
Thank you for you input and I do agree with you....but, when you believe that you are speaking in confidence about things that are very personal and private and then to discover, quite by accident, that the confidentiallity never existed..... that is difficult....So I'll stick to enquiring about the weather in future..... though she knows she can still use me as her confidant and no one will be privvy to her emails except me.
Margaret M.
09-Aug-08, 18:53
As others have said, it has nothing to do with having anything to hide it is simply respecting privacy. I would never open a letter addressed to someone else and would be pretty miffed if someone opened one addressed to me -- email is no different. However, we have no control over how many others may see our words once they are written and sent so if there is anything we don't want shared, we need to ask the receiver to keep it confidential. I know some couples who share an email address so I always make the assumption that they will both be seeing anything I send. If I have something I want to say to just one of them or in confidence, I make a phone call.
Ordinarily I cant see anything wrong with reading each others e-mails but in this case the OP was having a private conversation between herself and a close relative so I would say it was an invasion of privacy.
Sorry, but I disagree, my other half gets to read all my mail, and if she wanted to, has my permission to read all my E-Mails and any of my text messages, we have been married for nearly 45 years, what have we got to hide from each other?
I completely agree, we are the same. IMO, it is the only way a married couple can operate.
Steve and I have our own e-mail accounts. He knows my password and has used it in the past to get to e-mails from the boys school. I don't know his password and have no interest in finding out what it is.
Welcomefamily
09-Aug-08, 20:08
What a liberated idea, I will tell my wife that she does not no longer need my permission to open mail addressed to her.
I completely agree, we are the same. IMO, it is the only way a married couple can operate.
changilass
09-Aug-08, 20:16
If someone tells me something, they should be prepared for me to share it with my hubby if I feel the need, if they don't then they shouldn't tell me.
I don't keep secrets for my self from my hubby, I certaily aint about to start doing it for someone else.
Whoever is in the house when the mail arrives opens it. Emails tend to be opened by whoever they are addressed to simply cos the accounts are set up on different puters, but content can be up for discussion.
Welcomefamily
09-Aug-08, 20:28
I do agree my wife opens mine and I open hers.
Bad Manners
09-Aug-08, 20:38
I think an email is like a letter for the addressee only if they choose to share it is their choice. we can both access each others emails and personal details if we really wanted to but as a matter of principle we dont.
Nor would I go in her handbag if she wants me to get anything from her bag or purse I bring it to her.
We trust each other with everthing but personal tings are just that personal.
In some instances it may be okay to look at your partners emails.
My other half works offshore and if he has ordered something from the internet he will ask to me to check his email to get the confirmation of order and/or delivery details. When checking for this email, I am looking for something from a specific email address and will only look at those emails. I do not have any interest in any other emails that are lurking about in the inbox. I also open his postal mail whilst he is offshore in case anything needs his attention or a response before he is due home.
We can access each others email accounts but generally dont unless one requests the other to do it.
There is no way on this earth that I would reply to someone who had emailed him as a friend or relative unless he had requested I do this.
Teenybash, I know how I would feel if I had sent an email with some private content to a specific person only to receive a response from their partner. It would seem like an invasion of privacy but they should not have replied. I would think it could not have crossed their mind that you would object to their replying to you.
To say if it is right or wrong to read your partner's emails, texts, letters is not a straightforward one. Doing so without prior permission is a definate no no, but in some instances, and with permission, it can be okay.
Strongly agree with Golach
doesnt bother me coz ive got nothing to hide!!
say someone emails me on about a personal health matter they have and is looking for a bit of confidential advice or whatever, I think it would be a breach of their confidentiality if someone other than the person the email (me, say) was intended to, received it without the senders permission.
perhaps that is the problem with emails taking over from conversation. ie if you were told something in confidence by a friend about a personal matter say health then it is up to you to either keep their confidence,
or let them know in advance before they tell you anything at all that you are going to tell your husband as you "dont keep secrets"
i work for the nhs and all my work is confidential. ( work e mails as well) Id not dream of telling my husband/partner as its just that ..confidential . its not a matter of keeping secrets.
My OH works away a lot so I open his mail and when asked his e-mail, he never opens mine but he could if he wanted to I wouldn't mind at all.
Nor would I go in her handbag if she wants me to get anything from her bag or purse I bring it to her.
Got to admit that is one thing I cannot do either, and I do the same, when I need money, I bring her her purse, she is my banker [lol]
purplelady
09-Aug-08, 23:11
My ex read my emails and my texts and my mail and did not feel it was rite i had nothing to hid but if i wanted him to read them would have shown him .
Sorry, but I disagree, my other half gets to read all my mail, and if she wanted to, has my permission to read all my E-Mails and any of my text messages, we have been married for nearly 45 years, what have we got to hide from each other?
I totally agree with golach. No secrets in my marriage either. Privacy? blah, blah, blah. My Wife and I are a team, we share everything. If there is a matter of a sensitive nature I trust my Wife to discuss it with me alone and vice versa. I wonder how many problems would have been better attended to, if two heads had been in on it instead of one?
You crawl into a bed with someone at night, you trust them implicitly in my opinion. Seems a bit odd to me to be saying, "Here, keep yer hooter oot of MY mail!!"
yes but i think what teeny bash point is her friend or relative should have told her they shared there emails so then teeny would have the choice whether to talk about a private matter what do yous all think about that
Got to admit that is one thing I cannot do either, and I do the same, when I need money, I bring her her purse, she is my banker [lol]
I do this too [lol] cause I know its boobietrapped:confused
Welcomefamily
10-Aug-08, 08:55
No I would not go into her bag but I am sure she would not mind if I did but then if we want money we generally both use the hole in the wall. When it comes to a long term relationship based upon trust etc if you cant be totally open to your wife or partner then you dont have a relationship based upon trust.
My wife would not have access to any work related e-mails and I to her work ones.
Bad Manners
10-Aug-08, 09:01
On the same theme if your other half bought you a surprise gift from the internet the company always send conformation email, would you still read that email and act all surprised or would you tell them and spoil the surprise?
Not all secrets are a bad thing me I like a surprise now and again.
Welcomefamily
10-Aug-08, 09:06
I would use my work e-mail or set up a hotmail account.
My point was that as I do not consider email a secure contact mode I would never divulge intimate personal matters and if a friend has a problem there are other means of communication.
Like myself, no doubt you have at some point recieved mail not originally destined for you.Fortunately those I have recieved have not been of a close personal nature although the monthly parish notes make quite interesting reading despite the fact that I have no idea where the it is!
My husband and I use an email collection service as in the past we have had need of both business and personal facilities registered under different adresses so who ever checks it will find all the mail.However one will tell the other that there is mail and do not of a matter of course access the individual messages.
I dont think its right for your partner to read your e-mails etc without you knowing.
I had a friend in a similar situation recently but it was the mother that was reading all the emails, texts etc & also going through her room whilst she wasnt there:eek:.
I think there is a difference between keeping secrets and having "private" conversations with friends. Ms T and I share what we do, who we talk, what we are doing etc. but I don't need to know every detail of every email. If her and her friend want to chat then I say let them.
If someone tells me something, they should be prepared for me to share it with my hubby if I feel the need, if they don't then they shouldn't tell me.
I don't keep secrets for my self from my hubby, I certaily aint about to start doing it for someone else.
I have to disagree. If someone tells me something in confidence, I would not tell my OH. It's really hard keeping secrets, but I can manage it when I have to. If someone emails me, it comes to me and is not read by himself. Likewise private letters (though I'd hang about waiting to be invited to read them if they looked interesting). If we want money or something from each other, we ask before rooting about in wallet/purse. It's mostly all a formality but I can't see that this in any way detracts from our relationship.
I cant understand why people are hung up about mail, be it post or e-mail. When you are in a relationship you normaly share all things, in myh house we tend to what ever needs to be dealt with, if I am here when the post comes I open it if hubby here he will open it, at the end of the day it all concerns both of us as the heads of the house.
E-mail, we both have seperate accounts but we flit between the 2 and deal with there information, we have trust and we know each other so well that we wouldnt have anything to hide.
changilass
10-Aug-08, 20:19
I don't understand the big deal either, you trust your partners with the most precious thing in your life, ie your kids, mail comes a long way behind in things to worry about.
Electric blue
10-Aug-08, 20:20
Like Chamb who ever is in the house opens the mail but mainly my OH as i tend to say we've got post and leave it for her. Unless it's near birthdays then I grab all the cards as hers is just 4 days after mine so I hide hers until the day.
We tell each other everything anyway but would never dream of discussing another persons situation to anybody else.
helenwyler
10-Aug-08, 20:33
How would you feel and is it okay for parnters to open each others emails.....:confused
I think I take a different stance on this to some posters.
I'd say that OH and I trust each enough other NOT to open each other's emails, except for boring stuff like confirmation of sales, delivery dates etc.
If emails are from relatives, then we'll always tell each other anything we should know, or show each other the message.
But we get emails from friends who are not common to us both. As long as those friends are not putting us in a difficult position, I'd say they deserve respect for their privacy.
On their behalf, I wouldn't like OH to open my mail (he doesn't), and I wouldn't dream of opening his. This is trust too.
If I wanted to divulge anything I felt might be 'personal/private' about a non-mutual friend, I hope I would ask their permission first. :)
Recently I emailed a close relative and was surprised to receive a reply from her partner, who had opened the email. I am shocked and feel that my privacy has been invaded...I am presuming she knows he does this.
In the past I have confided in her and now feel I can no longer do this....which is a shame as we do not see each other very often, because of distance.
How would you feel and is it okay for parnters to open each others emails.....:confused
Teenybash, I think you're justified in feeling that your privacy has been invaded. You thought you were having a private written "conversation" with your close relative, and she should have made you aware that her partner reads her emails. Especially in light of the fact that what you were telling her was confidential.
E-mail should be treated the same as paper mail.... private to the addressee. Trouble is few people see it that way. Same with mobile phones - if you stood outside and ear-wigged someone´s conversation they would get mad... but they will sit on a train and gabble away quite loudly for all to hear.
oldmarine
12-Aug-08, 04:10
Sorry, but I disagree, my other half gets to read all my mail, and if she wanted to, has my permission to read all my E-Mails and any of my text messages, we have been married for nearly 45 years, what have we got to hide from each other?
I agree with golach. My wife and I have been married for 38 years and have never tried to hide anything from one another. If there is something she doesn't want me to read she has a good reason and lets me know that it's something I don't need to know. I respect her reasons what ever they may be.
It seems to me that there 2 definite camps of thought on the opening of emails and mail etc. Both have equal merit depending on the couples involved. Obviously what has given teeny the trouble is that one has met the other and one camp has judged the other by their own merits. I think there is great room for regain of trust here because one criticism of the other is a judgement of how another couple runs their relationship (and not one of loss of confidentiality) which I'm sure none of us has a right to do.
Sapphire2803
12-Aug-08, 12:53
It seems to me that there 2 definite camps of thought on the opening of emails and mail etc. Both have equal merit depending on the couples involved. Obviously what has given teeny the trouble is that one has met the other and teeny has judged the other by the others merits. I think there is great room for regain of trust here because one criticism of the other is a judgement of how another couple runs their relationship (and not one of loss of confidentiality) which I'm sure none of us has a right to do.
I think I know what you mean (I've just read that twice) and that's the problem here, it's kind of difficult to explain.
My hubby and I do not open each others mail or look even touch each others phones without invitation. We could, there is nothing to hide and neither of us we be angry if the other one did. We just choose not to, we are the sort of people who like to keep our own little private, personal space. Having said that, in conversation, we tell each other everything, so we wouldn't learn anything new about each other by having a look at all these things. What we don't tell each other is other people's secrets. They are not ours to tell. If someone tells you something in confidence, then you should respect that confidence, if you can't then you should ask them not to tell you things.
percy toboggan
12-Aug-08, 18:51
in my opinion e.mail is not a suitable conduit for any subject which might be considered 'heavy' or emotional between friends or family members...pick up the phone, or buy a writing pad. Better still pay a visit if they're on the same continent.
By coincidence I met with the other side of the coin today.
I had a joke emailed to me by a friend who got married last year. At the end she remarked "I wish I had my brother in law`s email address, he`d love that joke"......... In the olden days (pre this post that is) I would have suggested she send it to her sister to pass on to her husband. In light of this thread I didn`t, but will ask her when we next chat on the phone why she didn`t do just that.
Our mail is our own and I am also appointee for my father at the benefits agency and the council. Anything official for my OH I usually end up getting that to deal with anyway, but would never presume that and open his mail for him. Anything jointly addressed to Mr and Mrs I would leave for him to open when we were together.
I dont know about you guys but i left my privacy at the door when i moved in with and married my partner.You know childbirth, sharing life stories ,intimacy,bad days ,habits and all those other things.I dont have anything thats private anymore, should i ? However i would keep a friends private problems etc private between us because in my mind thats a separate issue as long as it doesnt directly involve me and she is just offloading some troubles.So whats happened to you is unfortunate but i dont think you friend ment this to happen.I have to open my husbands mail for the simple reason hes not often in the house to open it for himself. Perhaps your friend wasnt expecting the email to be private and there was some crossed wires. As for texts etc i dont see the need for privacy you should each be comfortable to view eachothers stuff without a big deal otherwise suspicion might arise and then things could get confusing and out of hand and end up in disaster.:confused
Whitewater
12-Aug-08, 23:03
This is something I have never thought about. Neither my wife or I open each others emails, not because it is not allowed or that we would offend each other, we just don't do it. We both have the same email address but we know where the emails have come from.
We have nothing to hide from each other, she is not interested in my emails which are generally all received from organisations to which I belong, or a few friends whom I trade jokes with. My wifes are generally from her work or her closer friends but we would not worry if we opened them up by mistake so long as they were kept as new and neither of us lost anything important. In fact my wife has often asked me to reply to her emails as she is not really too keen on going on line after having worked on a computer all day. It doesn't bother either of us one way or the other. As has already been stated here, if it is personal or private use the phone, but if it is so personal or private that your other half must not or never hear about it, your relationship is in deep trouble.
teenybash
12-Aug-08, 23:24
I have read the posts with interest and can see everyones point of view and can understand them. The email I sent to my relative did not contain anything of great significance....it was the surprise that her OH was at the other end...... no great harm done in the long term.
I, however would not open my OH emails nor he mine....snail mail, email are addressed to a specific person and it is they who should open their own mail. It may be I have this view because some of my work is done via email and is strictly confidential on my part......only for the eyes of the recipient.
Different strokes for different folks....:)
what is the big problem with your partner opening anything,i don't mind my oh reading texts e-mails mail anything neither do i mind her answering any of them either.neither of us have anything to hide from the other,you share you house life everything with your partner,so why the need for privacy in these things or anything else where your partner is concerned.
Lolabelle
13-Aug-08, 08:28
Recently I emailed a close relative and was surprised to receive a reply from her partner, who had opened the email. I am shocked and feel that my privacy has been invaded...I am presuming she knows he does this.
In the past I have confided in her and now feel I can no longer do this....which is a shame as we do not see each other very often, because of distance.
How would you feel and is it okay for parnters to open each others emails.....:confused
I couldn't care less if Dave opens my emails. I don't have anything that I don't end up telling him. But having said that, he wouldn't open them anyway. But I would open his emails and mail. I'm a busy body. The only time I hesitated was when he got a letter from his estranged daughter and he was away. I rang him and he told me to open it and read it to him. But if you were telling someone something personal and the thought that someone other than who you wrote to may read it would definately be off putting.
Sapphire2803
13-Aug-08, 14:02
As for texts etc i dont see the need for privacy you should each be comfortable to view eachothers stuff without a big deal otherwise suspicion might arise and then things could get confusing and out of hand and end up in disaster.:confused
I could if I wanted to, use that as proof that there is more trust in my relationship.
We are quite comfortable with not reading each other's email, texts etc.
How can it be trust if you have to check up on it? Trust is a belief, not something you must have proven.
If you have to check on every message a person receives to stop suspicion, then you don't trust them...
I agree with above statement. Me and oh dont care if the other reads or opens emails, txt messages or mail.Trust is something that is natural imo. You learn to trust strangers but if it is a partner they should be trusted.
Those who have a problem with their partners opening their mail, says to me they have something to hide, which then only brings on the mistrust and can only lead to a doomed relatuionship.
As saphire says, trusting your partner is what its all about, not hiding things away.
Sapphire2803
13-Aug-08, 14:56
I agree with above statement. Me and oh dont care if the other reads or opens emails, txt messages or mail.Trust is something that is natural imo. You learn to trust strangers but if it is a partner they should be trusted.
Those who have a problem with their partners opening their mail, says to me they have something to hide, which then only brings on the mistrust and can only lead to a doomed relatuionship.
Nay, nay and thrice nay! You're saying that it then brings on mistrust.
Nope, you already mistrust by then, you proved it by saying you think they have something to hide.
My point is that if you trust someone, you can be quite happy to let them have privacy. You won't assume they're hiding anything because you trust them. You also know that if you decided to have a look through their stuff, they might not really appreciate it, but they would let you. Because they love you.
If you assume that someone has something to hide, for any reason. You DO NOT trust them.
As saphire says, trusting your partner is what its all about, not hiding things away.
No I didn't, read it again! :lol:
My point is that if you trust someone, you can be quite happy to let them have privacy. You won't assume they're hiding anything because you trust them. You also know that if you decided to have a look through their stuff, they might not really appreciate it, but they would let you. Because they love you.
If you assume that someone has something to hide, for any reason. You DO NOT trust them.
Absolutely spot on!
I would also say it has a lot to do with simple respect for someones Right to privacy, whether or not they choose to exercise that right.
Karia
Sorry, but I disagree, my other half gets to read all my mail, and if she wanted to, has my permission to read all my E-Mails and any of my text messages, we have been married for nearly 45 years, what have we got to hide from each other?
Have to agree with you there Paw. Mrs Loafer and myself have no secrets whatsoever and it is basically who is in the house when the postie comes or who opens t'internet first that reads all the mail. if either of our phones bleep with a text, if we aren't close we ask the other to read it.
Four and a bit years now and never had an argument yet. Bit to go to your 45, but I can't see us falling out over it.
The Loafer
The Angel Of Death
18-Aug-08, 11:17
I agree with above statement. Me and oh dont care if the other reads or opens emails, txt messages or mail.Trust is something that is natural imo. You learn to trust strangers but if it is a partner they should be trusted.
Those who have a problem with their partners opening their mail, says to me they have something to hide, which then only brings on the mistrust and can only lead to a doomed relationship.
As saphire says, trusting your partner is what its all about, not hiding things away.
My point is that if you trust someone, you can be quite happy to let them have privacy. You won't assume they're hiding anything because you trust them. You also know that if you decided to have a look through their stuff, they might not really appreciate it, but they would let you. Because they love you.
If you assume that someone has something to hide, for any reason. You DO NOT trust them
I understand both sides of the argument here and completely agree with the quotes above I have seen it a few times where people are blatantly up to no good on there partners via email and text messages and even seen a family member (or soon to be ex family member) set up a secret email address to mask there "activities" so they couldn't be checked up on
The signs are obvious you should see how some folk suddenly become so protective of there phones and password protect them so no one can see or check them funny how they never used there phones at all before hand but now its joined to there hip all the time and never left unattended at all
My email and phone hasn't got anything that i wouldn't want partners / family not to read but what i think it basically comes down to is trust and if your partner thinks there is something going on then i would fully expect and understand them to look at and read my email / text messages if for nothing else other than piece of mind
Trust is a two way street if you don't give someone any reason not to trust you then you will get loads of it back in turn i say
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