Dispair.

[cuddlepop]

its not that I know I'm alwas right or I think I am but why do our kids not listen to us.:confused

Child 1 refuses to finish his antibiotics because they make him feel like crap and he cant drink.Continues to keep bad company and wont eat properly.
Child 2 poor student that refuses to aknowledge the budget we've helped her set out.Refuses to eat properly as it'll make her fat.
Child 3 wont use sun block to protect her skin as it'll burn on the meds she's on.

Oh is smoking like a chimney and It looks like I'll have to say I cant travel with him in the car unless he stops smoking.My sisnuses are so painfull.:~(

I am going to run away.....

[Cattach]

its not that I know I'm alwas right or I think I am but why do our kids not listen to us.:confused

Child 1 refuses to finish his antibiotics because they make him feel like crap and he cant drink.Continues to keep bad company and wont eat properly.
Child 2 poor student that refuses to aknowledge the budget we've helped her set out.Refuses to eat properly as it'll make her fat.
Child 3 wont use sun block to protect her skin as it'll burn on the meds she's on.

Oh is smoking like a chimney and It looks like I'll have to say I cant travel with him in the car unless he stops smoking.My sisnuses are so painfull.:~(

I am going to run away.....

Have you tried a good parenting course? or maybe you should just put ' the boot' into that family of yours. On second thoughts have a big Vodka and coke, feet up by the telly and tell them to all get their own tea, make their own beds, do the washing up and wash their own clothes as you are not doing it for the next months. Things will change if you go on a stricy work to rule!!

[cuddlepop]

Have you tried a good parenting course? or maybe you should just put ' the boot' into that family of yours. On second thoughts have a big Vodka and coke, feet up by the telly and tell them to all get their own tea, make their own beds, do the washing up and wash their own clothes as you are not doing it for the next months. Things will change if you go on a stricy work to rule!!


Only youngest left at home and she knows where the door is if she doesnt like house rules.

I swear the older they get the bigger the problems.:~(

[percy toboggan]

Stop worrying about them.
You've done your bit.
I'd hate to live with a heavy smoker...and probably wouldn't.

[Mister Squiggle]

Sounds like you've had a day similar to mine!
My remedy? A good book, a glass of wine and a spot where no one can find you for an hour or so. Hope things improve for you soon. :)

[Kenn]

Poor you! We all have problems with the offspring but fortunately ours are old enough to be able , under most circumstances, to sort them for themselves.
Before you start climbing walls, make some "Me time," go a walk, sit at your favourite view point, read a book,play some music even if it's for thirty minutes a day because you're worth it.

[cuddlepop]

Poor you! We all have problems with the offspring but fortunately ours are old enough to be able , under most circumstances, to sort them for themselves.
Before you start climbing walls, make some "Me time," go a walk, sit at your favourite view point, read a book,play some music even if it's for thirty minutes a day because you're worth it.


i know its really important just to get so me time but this year its been almost impossible.
cant even go out for a walk with the dog in the evenings as Oh is working such long hours and just wants to sleep when he gets in.
Just finished watching "time warp wifes" made me think back to growing up in a 60's household where children were children and done exactly what mum and dad said.
Think ther's alot to be said for modern day living.:~(

[TBH]

Tell the first that if he doesn't complete his antibiotics he will become infertile.:lol:
The second one is a student, least said soonest mended.
The third could be shown the dangers of developing skin cancer, the case Tommy Burns the celtic player being a good place to start.

[cuddlepop]

Tell the first that if he doesn't complete his antibiotics he will become infertile.:lol:
The second one is a student, least said soonest mended.
The third could be shown the dangers of developing skin cancer, the case Tommy Burns the celtic player being a good place to start.

The st never wants kids
The 2nd as you say is a student and they're a law unto themselves
The 3rd thinks she's doesnt lye about in the sun and anyway its not sunny today.:confused

I'd rather have a pack of dogs some days as off spring are a required taste.

[kriklah]

now you know why some animals eat their young!!:D

and mine havent even reached their teens yet!!:eek:

[teenybash]

Poor Cuddlepop you have had the most horrible time of late.........sounds as if you need some 'time out' and do whatever takes your fancy.....and get back to yourself.
I am not saying this is what you are doing but, it's worth a thought.

Sometimes when life goes wrong and we find ourselves in the depth of despair we cry out but, no one seems to listen... Too easy we tumble a little further into feelings of hopelessness and for a time can only view life from that dark and dismal place. The world then seems to overpower us with the weight of our failings, whatever we think them to be and we miss the chink of light shining through the dark curtain. But trust that the light is there and allow it to highlight your situation, with the young ones and you will see how loving and positive you have been and are in their lives.....you birthed them, loved them fed and nurtured them. You taught them and equiped them with the tools of life and now that they have grown, it is up to them how they use the gifts you have given.
Let them fly and if they threaten to tumble, let them and leave them to flap, it will strengthen their wings to fly higher....... But like all us mothers you will worry and at times cry yourself to sleep as you fear your young ones will veer to far....and if they do, life will teach them another of the lessons we have all learned on the road to growing up.

Have your own 'special time' each day and don't allow the gremlin guilt to dig at you.

Always remember.it is good to talk and share................;)

[purplelady]

know how you feel cuddlepop my youngest thinks am the worse mother in the world and wants to go live with his dad and the older two well the older they get the worse they get rite hehehehe

[helenwyler]

Really feel for you CP.

I've been there with the blinkered recalcitrance of teenagers and young adults. I'm not talking about drugs or habitual drunkeness etc....that's much more complex.

Just referring to your OP, sometimes I think there comes a point where you just have to dump them in it, allow them to make their own mistakes, and specifically refuse to handle any consequences if they ignore advice. Though I grew up in the 60s, my parents were not nearly as full of 'advice' as I seem to be :lol:. Maybe that wasn't a bad thing; it gave me the need to learn for myself things that I didn't want to learn from my parents.

There are many reasons why our 'grown up' kids don't take advice. I've had to 'dump' mine in it, with warning. I remind once, then leave it. I give advice when requested, and leave any consequences for them to sort out if they don't heed the advice. They have to rectify their mistakes themselves. That's how I learned to take responsibility anyway...through my own mistakes.

Maybe one student overdraft, one recurrence of whatever the antibiotics were supposed to control (if it's not too serious), and one dose of sunburn will encourage them to take their own control over their actions when they blithely reject parental advice.

I say maybe. But if they reject your advice, and then land in the sh*t, it will at least encourage independent reflection if they know they can't fall back unconditionally on you; and that's what growing up is.

We parents cannot feel endlessly guilty for our children's mistakes. I think it's called 'tough love'! And it is tough :confused.


Best wishes,

Helen

[Aaldtimer]

From Kahlil Gibran's "The Prophet":-

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children."
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
;)

[cuddlepop]

From Kahlil Gibran's "The Prophet":-

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children."
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
;)

very thought provoking thanks for posting that .:D

[Margaret M.]

Being a mother can sometimes feel like the most thankless job in the world but it is time for you now, Cuddlepop. Do whatever it is that brings you joy and relaxation. Know that you have given your children the best foundation you possibly could and now it is up to them.

[joxville]

Basically, all you can do is be there for them when it all goes wrong. Just try not to say "told you so".