plasticjock
19-Jul-08, 13:58
1: Our last name stays put.
2: The garage is all ours.
3: Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4: Chocolate is just another snack.
5: We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.
6: We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
7: Car mechanics tell us the truth.
8: The world is our urinal.
9: We never have to drive to another petrol station because this one's just too icky.
10: Same work, more pay.
11: Wrinkles add character.
12: Wedding dress - £1000; suit rental - £100.
13: People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
14: The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
15: New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
16: One mood…..ALL the time.
17: Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
18: We know stuff about tanks.
19: A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
20: We can open all our own jars.
21: We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22: If someone forgets to invite us to something, they can still be our friend.
23: Our underwear is £6.50 for a three-pack.
24: Everything on our face stays its original colour.
25: Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26: We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut or a bolt.
27: We almost never have strap problems in public.
28: We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
29: The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
30: We don't have to shave below our neck.
31: Our belly usually hides our big hips.
32: One wallet, one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
33: We can "do" our nails with a pocket knife.
34: We have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
35: We can go to the bathroom without a support group.
36: We can admire Clint Eastwood without starving ourselves to look like him.
37: One day we'll be a dirty old man.
38: Our pals can be trusted never to trap us with: "So...notice anything different?"
39: We never have to miss a sexual opportunity because we're not in the mood.
40: We get to think about sex 90% of our waking hours.
...........Well…what do you expect from such simple creatures?
2: The garage is all ours.
3: Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4: Chocolate is just another snack.
5: We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.
6: We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
7: Car mechanics tell us the truth.
8: The world is our urinal.
9: We never have to drive to another petrol station because this one's just too icky.
10: Same work, more pay.
11: Wrinkles add character.
12: Wedding dress - £1000; suit rental - £100.
13: People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
14: The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
15: New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
16: One mood…..ALL the time.
17: Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
18: We know stuff about tanks.
19: A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
20: We can open all our own jars.
21: We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22: If someone forgets to invite us to something, they can still be our friend.
23: Our underwear is £6.50 for a three-pack.
24: Everything on our face stays its original colour.
25: Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26: We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut or a bolt.
27: We almost never have strap problems in public.
28: We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
29: The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
30: We don't have to shave below our neck.
31: Our belly usually hides our big hips.
32: One wallet, one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
33: We can "do" our nails with a pocket knife.
34: We have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
35: We can go to the bathroom without a support group.
36: We can admire Clint Eastwood without starving ourselves to look like him.
37: One day we'll be a dirty old man.
38: Our pals can be trusted never to trap us with: "So...notice anything different?"
39: We never have to miss a sexual opportunity because we're not in the mood.
40: We get to think about sex 90% of our waking hours.
...........Well…what do you expect from such simple creatures?