View Full Version : Queen's Handbag
After seeing a picture of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth with her handbag, I was wondering whats actually in there?
Change for the big issue, pepper spray,lippie?
What do other orgers reckon is in THAT handbag.
A free bag of Caithness air to the best suggestion.
Probably the same as what's in any other octagenarian lady's handbag. I've nicked quite a few in my time and I can tell you that there will be a lacy hankerchief, an oversize purse with little money in it, a bag of mint imperials, a cheque carefully hidden in the inside pocket, a sanitary towel, a bottle of rosewood eaue de cologne, a front door key, a book of 2nd class stamps, a pen, a mini electric fan and a knitting pattern.
There was actually a feature on tv about the queens handbag and I cant remember most of it but I do remember she has a meat hook in it :eek: Its for hanging her handbag on a table top to stop her having to set it on the floor!Oh she also carries photos with her x
I reckon there would be a mobile phone with Dominoes pizza on speed dial, a list of who she is going to see and why, a silver hip flask shaped like a corgi, a panic button for when her OH opens his big gob, a lucky corgi's foot and some invisible tape to help aid her fake smile into position.
Probably not much -it never looks very heavy. I'm sure her lady in waiting must lug about all the emergency supplies.
So I'd say a handbag mirror, the lippy to match that day's ensemble, an embroidered lawn hankie, headache pills, and a tube of polos. No cash or house keys required -and she won't have a bus pass or a copy of the latest lecky bill she's taking to pay at the local PO....
I've read she carries family photos -but then a lot of grannies do!
Well, that's what I think she really might have -but it would be a lot more fun if it was....
hip flask with ready made g&t, favourite stuffed toy (horse or corgi) she can't leave the palace without, raunchy paperback, huge bar of dairy milk and a card with a reminder to WAVE AND SMILE.....;)
changilass
19-Jun-08, 09:53
Probably the same as what's in any other octagenarian lady's handbag. I've nicked quite a few in my time and I can tell you that there will be a lacy hankerchief, an oversize purse with little money in it, a bag of mint imperials, a cheque carefully hidden in the inside pocket, a sanitary towel, a bottle of rosewood eaue de cologne, a front door key, a book of 2nd class stamps, a pen, a mini electric fan and a knitting pattern.
OMG, description of contents have just explained why I feel tired and old, I am an octagenarian:Razz
OMG, description of contents have just explained why I feel tired and old, I am an octagenarian:Razz
My advice is dump the lacy hankerchief and keep the rest because it is every child's nightmare to have their face cleaned with the hanky which has been daubed in grandma spittle.:)
helenwyler
19-Jun-08, 11:32
Good answers!:lol:
I'd advise chloroform-impregnated tissues for Philip, when he starts getting a bit gobby ;).
My advice is dump the lacy hankerchief and keep the rest because it is every child's nightmare to have their face cleaned with the hanky which has been daubed in grandma spittle.:)
OMG I remember my mum doing that with the hanky!
Does anyone still do that? Couldnt put my kids through that,still suffering the emotional trauma at the very mention of "c'mere till I wipe yer face".
You have now given me nightmares ;)
I think she'll have air freshener in there after all the farting incidents on the balcony the last 2 yrs [lol]
It's either that or its HER that has stink bombs in the handbag !! [lol]
I heard that she keeps a spare lizard skin in her handbag.
A pooper scooper for her corgis.
A condom-(just incase)
Pork scratchings and a swiss army knife.
And on sundays a folded note of unknown denomination which she discreetly places in the collection plate.
Hotrod4
Just been in town and saw a young mum trying to persuade very young boy to sit still until she wiped his face - yes with a hankie wet with her spit, didn't realise they still did that - most times I have seen a child with a mucky face out comes the baby wipes from the mothers bag.
He certainly did not like getting his face wiped.
Hotrod4 and Pat,
As a child over 50 years ago I could never decide which was worse mum spitting on the handkie to wipe my face or being told to spit on it myself!
Kevin Milkins
19-Jun-08, 17:17
A good question and one could only guess.
A set of darts, wet wipes, tenor lady,chewing gum, or and a photo of Mr Alfyed complete with dart holes.:lol:
She has a copy of the smallest book in the world which she wrote........'GAMES TO PLAY AT THE BUS STOP'
I'm so happy they invented baby wipes, the need to spit on hankies should be drastically reduced I hope.
A good question and one could only guess.
A set of darts, wet wipes, tenor lady,chewing gum, or and a photo of Mr Alfyed complete with dart holes.:lol:
tenor lady is that an opera singer? ;)
A miniture sink, can of disinfectant, spare gloves, blow-up husband, battery operated waving hand, handcuffs, a lotto scratchcard, a photo of Gyles Brandreth, some spare rivets for the Forth Road Bridge, my mobile number for when she needs advice, Haynes Manual for 1973 Ford Cortina and a wee card with a reminder of the off-side rule.[lol][lol]
20 Capstan full strength
The Racing Post
Half bottle of Beefeater Gin
One of Hitler's plums
Kevin Milkins
19-Jun-08, 18:54
tenor lady is that an opera singer? ;)
Not sure what they are for, I think its for keeping mams lettuce dry:confused
I'm so happy they invented baby wipes, the need to spit on hankies should be drastically reduced I hope.
My Lord that's a gross post!!
Oh sorry, SPIT on hankies you said. Phew, can calm down now ;)
tenor lady is that an opera singer? ;)
Pavarotti's widow? BIG handbag!!
northener
19-Jun-08, 20:30
An unfinished letter to Mr Ghandi asking for the return of India, a few diamonds, a paper clip, 3 members of the Royal Protection Squad and an A-Z of irritable answers to toadying politicians.
Tissues , Breath Freshner and Indigestion pills from all the awful meals served before her
I have it on good authority from my Palace Mole that the Queen's handbag contained the following while she was at Royal Ascot today:-
Bookies betting slips, Pot Noodle (Chicken and Mushroom), 20 Woodbine, box of Scottish Bluebell matches, I-pod with a Union Jack cover, one packet of Fisherman's Friend, one box of Imodium capsules, Heat magazine, Tube of Anusol, a box of rawl plugs, 13amp fuse, bottle of heart pills (druggie coo that she is ;) ) Tesco Clubcard, Ocean Finance monthly statement, nasal hair trimmer and two Magic Tree air freshners.
Makes her seem more "Human" don't you think?
I also believe that the Queen always carries an old piece of correspondence from the American president dated 1812 to the effect that the American leadership will continue to recognise the British monarch as their head of state but only in private.
2little2late
19-Jun-08, 23:13
Bet her bus pass is in there.
I liked Karia's suggestion a wee while ago in, post number 55 in the link below:
http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?p=370991#post370991
She may well be right, lol! ;)
Perhaps the Queen carries a can of mace spray in her handbag to ward off any attackers, or Prince Phillip, if she's not "in the mood". Probably a Royal cell phone too, with her coat of arms on it. Helen Mirren's phone number must surely be stored in her mobile, should she need some advice on how to be Queenly. Possibly George Clooney's number as well, now that he's single again. I hear that Her Majesty goes all swooney at the sight of George Clooney! Could a knighthood be in order?? "Arise, Sir George..." Whoops, I'm getting a bit carried away here, now, lol! :lol: I don't think Americans can be knighted - or can they?
Probably the same as what's in any other octagenarian lady's handbag. I've nicked quite a few in my time and I can tell you that there will be a lacy hankerchief, an oversize purse with little money in it, a bag of mint imperials, a cheque carefully hidden in the inside pocket, a sanitary towel, a bottle of rosewood eaue de cologne, a front door key, a book of 2nd class stamps, a pen, a mini electric fan and a knitting pattern.
Why would there be a sanitary towel in an octagenarians handbag? Most original suggestion receives a monthly prize.
Why would there be a sanitary towel in an octagenarians handbag? Most original suggestion receives a monthly prize.Maybe she uses them when Phil the Greek is slevering, which is quite often.
Why would there be a sanitary towel in an octagenarians handbag? Most original suggestion receives a monthly prize.
You obviously have a lot to learn.:)
Today's bag for Ascot contains:-
Five cold drinks, four calling cards, three French pens, two purple gloves and a cartridge with a spare key.
You obviously have a lot to learn.:)
When people say 'you have a lot to learn' but to not explain then I realise they are retreating from an untenable situation and with no suitable argument to put forward. It is a very well known 'get out'clause.
Perhaps the Queen carries a can of mace spray in her handbag to ward off any attackers, or Prince Phillip, if she's not "in the mood".
I heard that the last time the Queen was "In the Mood", Glenn Miller was still alive ;)
I heard that the last time the Queen was "In the Mood", Glenn Miller was still alive ;)
That's why he did a disappearing act, no?:confused
That's why he did a disappearing act, no?:confused
A fun posting by somone whose name escapes me has degenerated into a nonsense and and insult throwing session. Was enjoying the handbag speculation but wont be reading this thread anymore as it is now well off topic.
2little2late
20-Jun-08, 17:20
Why would there be a sanitary towel in an octagenarians handbag? Most original suggestion receives a monthly prize.
One never knows when one is suddenly going to have a nose bleed. [lol] [lol]
Why would there be a sanitary towel in an octagenarians handbag?
Just in case they are playing Poker and get a Royal FLUSH!! ;)
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