View Full Version : The Maxikat

22-Apr-08, 20:49
Let me introduce you to the Maxikat (Maximillien Moggyfeliniapuss).

The maxikat has developed a survival instinct which is perhaps novel in the animal kingdom.
The maxikat has become a parasitic life form. Unlike other parasites which live off their hosts leavings, sometimes even causing harm to these hosts, the maxikat has found a way of controlling his hosts in order to gain maximum output for minimum input.
The host of choice for the maxikat are members of the Dellwak family (Naivius Gormlessius) who, because of their ease of manipulation, are an ideal target for the maxikats chosen way of life.
His methods of control are worth a mention here.
The maxikat has found that if he lays on his back with all four legs in the air and makes his eyes big and round, it will only be a matter of minutes before any dellwak in the area will get down on its knees and start stroking the maxikats belly. Once the dellwak is there, the maxikat has its full attention and can do with him what he will – demand a play session, demand food etc.
Any reader wishing to witness this highly successful control method can click on the following link. But be warned – the dellwak is not the only life form susceptible to this trick.

http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/9374/fatmax1sw0.jpg (http://forum.caithness.org/go.php?url=http://forum.caithness.org/go.php?url=http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/9374/fatmax1sw0.jpg)

The strangest result from this form of manipulation is that the dellwaks actually believe that they are the dominant life forms in this relationship. Although this phenomenon works excellently to the advantage of the maxicat, it is in fact a fallacy.

23-Apr-08, 12:18
argh!! i looked!! i looked!!
aww, c'mere poodytat.........
help.....it's taking.....over.........my..........mind.......... ...

23-Apr-08, 13:17
Hee hee! Love it!

24-Apr-08, 16:51
like it! Don't let it get near my 2 cats and give them lessons on gaining maximum control!

24-Apr-08, 17:01
He is so sweet....I take it he gets his odd hold over you in the same way the Pussy Cat did in Shrek? Maybe there is another breed of Maxikat "the Antonius Banderus". LOL!

24-Apr-08, 17:45
The maxikat is much older and more experienced than the Banderus Puss.
He has had 15 years to perfect his control techniques.
And I suspect that he has also had more partners than the moggy from Shrek.

24-Apr-08, 22:33
must....open......can....of....tuna......for...... the.....great....one......

26-Apr-08, 19:48
The maxikat likes cleanliness and will often sleep in a laundry basket - Especially if the basket has freshly washed laundry in it.
This tends to make the female dellwak (dellwakina) rather annoyed.


26-Apr-08, 19:57
This is a maxikats typical reply to an annoyed dellwakina.
Note the tongue.


01-May-08, 18:19

This is a track made by a maxikat.
If you have one of these in your garden, you are very probably already infested with maxicats.
A lot of people believe that there is gateway at the end of these tracks that leads to the secret and mythological kingdom of the cats, similar to a fairy ring. This is possible as it has been seen that when a maxicat reaches the end of his track HE DISAPPEARS.
Others point out that the track ends in the trees and the maxicat simply "disappears" into the bushes. These people also say that the only thing at the end of these tracks is lot of poo.
These people have no fantasy and should be ignored.

01-May-08, 18:29

Rare picture of a maxikat guarding his track.

01-May-08, 19:06
That's quite a cat you have, lol, dellwak! And that's the first time I've seen a catwalk in the grass! :cool:

01-May-08, 21:24
People in the Highlands think these tracks are made by sheep or rabbits Sporran - the fools.

07-May-08, 16:06
OMG I have got 2 maxikatslol

07-May-08, 16:07

07-May-08, 16:12
Dellwak is this a contented Maxikat http://i286.photobucket.com/albums/ll85/thejudd432/P1010848.jpg

07-May-08, 20:22
Welcome to club of servitude thejudd.
I think your two are very experienced and - yes contented Maxikats.
May you have many years of living in thrall to these two pretty little things.