Birthing dads

[justine]

noticed in the health news that fathers feel as though they are shut out of the birthing process by the midwives and the hospital policies...Now my oh has been at the birth of all mine and has helped out, cut the cord and participated, but he agrees that fathers are pushed out as soon as visiting time is over..Were you or was your oh there?????and how was it....did they feel envovled or pushed away...

news link has more info...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7343229.stm

[BRIE]

my partner definately felt pushed out after the birth of our child. I had our baby just before visiting & was taken back to a ward full of visitors so dad didnt really get a look in.we thought we'd get a while on our own once everyone had gone but no he was told to leave too.After 2 days of labour I would of appreciated him being their for the first night.
This time round were opting for a home birth so we get to stay together.

[mccaugm]

My hubby spent my entire pregnancy telling me no way was he going to be at the birth. I informed him that I wanted him there but enlisted the help of my friend just in case. In the end they were both there which was great as my hubby hates hospitals and needed "air" every 5 minutes. He never said he felt pushed out, I think he would have been glad of the escape.

[ocd]

I think we need to remember that at the end of the day we are in a hospital and certain "rules" need to be in place. e.g. visiting times, yes you may be feeling fine and happy for your partner to stay but what about the other mothers they may need "time out". There are also "duties" which need to be carried out by the staff and time without visitors is necessary for this reason. I do understand that the fathers play an important role but only if practical. My personal experience of the local Maternity ward is that they are very accomodating where possible.

[JamesMcVean]

Being a father myself, and present at the recent (14months ago) birth of our twins, I would have to disagree, the Raigmore was very welcoming and my other half had a C-Section! I was too pumped with excitement to be nervous...lol
I was able to stay with our newly extended family as long as we needed. I stayed at the accomodation on site too for the last week of the pregancy...

Almost 6 years ago the Wick maternity unit was equally welcoming, I dont know why others have had different experiences>?!!??

[carasmam]

I think we need to remember that at the end of the day we are in a hospital and certain "rules" need to be in place. e.g. visiting times, yes you may be feeling fine and happy for your partner to stay but what about the other mothers they may need "time out". There are also "duties" which need to be carried out by the staff and time without visitors is necessary for this reason. I do understand that the fathers play an important role but only if practical. My personal experience of the local Maternity ward is that they are very accomodating where possible.

Well said. I cannot fault the local maternity unit. Caithness fought long and hard to keep the unit, so we should count ourselves lucky we are not all travelling the 100's of miles that the higher risk births have to.

[honey]

my 1st labour, hubby was there as well as my mam

2nd labour - hubby was the midwife!!!! delivered the wee man on the bathroom floor then was offered a job by the real midwives when i eventually got to hospital!:lol:

[ciderally]

my 1st labour, hubby was there as well as my mam

2nd labour - hubby was the midwife!!!! delivered the wee man on the bathroom floor then was offered a job by the real midwives when i eventually got to hospital!:lol:
gee whiz...good job he was thare first time round, to see what it was all about...but well done both of you

[sweetpea]

okay, obviously I can't say much because I haven't given bith to a kid but to be honest it wouldn't bother me that much if the dad was there or not because there's has to be some mystery.....

[honey]

okay, obviously I can't say much because I haven't given bith to a kid but to be honest it wouldn't bother me that much if the dad was there or not because there's has to be some mystery.....

there will be mystery as each labour is completely different, mine were like night and day!!

but seeing your child born into this world is one of the most precious moments you can ever imagine, every parent should, if possible of course, experience it. IMHO...

[supernova]

I was at the birth of all three of my children and wouldn't have had it any other way. Although I felt like a spare part at times, they were the best experiences of my life. Considering what a woman has to go through to have a child, the least us guy's can do is be there to support our partners.

Each birth was so different - 1st one scary as it was a new experience and the midwife didn't seem too sure of what she was doing (as we are both nurses, we even had to show her how to use some of the equipment!)
2nd birth very scary as he was breech - looked like an alien coming out feet first with the placenta still intact! staff were amazing and all was ok in the end.
3rd birth was a home birth. It was totally stress free & the midwife was brilliant. Had Pink Floyd playing in the background too - what could be better than that? Would recommend a home birth to anyone - despite best efforts by most staff, hospitals are very impersonal and too clinical.

[Valerie Campbell]

Yip, the men should see what we go through!!! First child, I had no drugs because the nurses left it too late and I swore I would be having no more. I sreamed in a way I thought only animals did. Three years later I gave birth to my twin girls and it was heavenly. I felt no pain whatsoever because of the epidural. I felt it was important both times for my hubby to be there but 1st time he was asked to leave; 2nd time he was allowed to stay as long as he wanted.

[balto]

when we had out first baby, my other half stayed with me night and day for about 2 days, it was the same after she was born he got to stay as long as he wanted, with the second he was only allowed at visiting time, but the 3rd one i was flowen to aberdeen, and as there was no room for my oh he stayed in thurso, as he had know way to get down therei before the little man arrived, and i really missed him, i never felt more alone, so i am hoping it will be easier this time round.