View Full Version : Sayings
Lady In Bed
13-Apr-08, 13:33
Just heard a cracker on tv," He needed that like a 3rd armpit". Whats your best?
What's wrong with you? ye've a face like a chewed slipper.
'I'd rather hack my head off with a blunt toothpick', I say that quite a lot [lol]
She had a a face like a well skelped ar&e
You look you you been pulled through a hedge backwards
Were you born in a barn? Shut the door!Having been born and brought up in Ross-Shire what we knew about our Caithness countryfolk was..............
"Shut e door Keep e draft oot"
I have to give credit to TBH who used this one while replying on another thread to someone who was being rather annoying. I thought it was priceless.
"Why don't you go and slip into something more comfortable, like a coma."
as useful as a ashtray on a motorbike
chocolate fireguard
condom machine in a convent
Though with what members of the clergy have been in the papers over in the last few years the last one may be a bit outdated now!
riggerboy
13-Apr-08, 14:45
tis better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid
than open it and remove all doubt
beauty is only skin deep
were you born inside out !
take the weight off your feet
go hang yourself
am no fae week
am fae a small fishing village called pulteney
was your hair cut by stevie wonder?
Sapphire2803
13-Apr-08, 15:14
As much use as a chocolate teapot.
As much use as boobs in a bucket.
Rare as hens teeth.
Rare as rocking horse poo.
You Have A Face Like A Half Chewed Carmel
You Got A Face Only A Mother Could Love.
You Got Teeth Like Stars, They Come Out At Night
As much use as boobs in a bucket.
I don't get that one?:confused
ronald.val
13-Apr-08, 15:55
Here's yur hat, what's yur hurry !!
Had a face lek a mile o' bad road!
When a friend as asked if she would ever marry for a second time, her reply was ; " I married the devil, why the hell would want his brother"
Sapphire2803
13-Apr-08, 15:55
I don't get that one?:confused
It's something a friend of mine used to say and I suppose it's true, they wouldn't be much use in a bucket :eek:
someone who isny happy - a face like a burst couch
someone who is hungry - sleverin lek a poacher's dug
Sapphire2803
13-Apr-08, 16:16
Hair like a burst mattress
I must admit, I know loads, but a lot of them would get me a warning from admin! :eek:
Sapphire2803
13-Apr-08, 16:18
A face like a bulldog chewing a wasp
A face like a bulldog licking pee off a nettle
One I use quite often-"I'll defend to the death your right to be wrong"
Im so hungry i could eat a scabby cat!:lol:
Im so hungry i could eat a scabby cat!:lol:
Or a scabby horse..:eek:
He's as useful as an astray on a motorbike
Your so cute, i could just stick yer head in a blender
That meat went through me like a Japanese bullet train
She's got more chins than a Chinese Phone book! :lol:
You've a face like a burst duff!
why have a dog, and bark yourself :roll:
ywindythesecond
13-Apr-08, 22:33
Or a scabby horse..:eek:
Or a scabby-heided wean!
Glasgow, not Caithness. Sorry.
Just in case you didn't understand scabby-heided-wean, it is a small child with scrofula.
Kevin Milkins
13-Apr-08, 23:42
A chat up line for a bloke in a night club.
I hear this area is very well known for its very attractive girls and rugby players.
What position do you play?
dunderheed
14-Apr-08, 11:54
you've got a face like a melted wellie
whats fur ye wulnae miss ye
face like a skelped erse
you dont know yer arse fae yer elba
many a miekle maks a muckle
yer as slow as shuchk watter.
yer as bright as a blackoot
thats just a few my grannie used to use.
there,s a hole in e bucket.....
south view 7
14-Apr-08, 20:44
She had a face like a fish supper, "all chips "...
Kevin Milkins
14-Apr-08, 21:24
She,s got a face like a blind cobblers thumb.
connieb19
14-Apr-08, 21:29
She's got a face ye could strike matches on.
She's got a face lek she's been dookin for apples in a deep fat fryer.
How come they are all..she''s got a face like..!;)
Kevin Milkins
14-Apr-08, 21:53
He,s got a face like a baboons arse
connieb19
14-Apr-08, 21:57
He's got balls lek 2 prunes rattlin about in a handbag. :eek:
And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
The last time I saw a face like that it had a hook in its mouth.
They've got a picture of her at the hospital, it saves using the stomach pump.
Sweating like pregnant nun.
He's got a nose like a blind cobblers thumb.
I'm so hungry my stomach feels like my throat has been cut.
The Angel Of Death
15-Apr-08, 09:42
It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!
She's got a face that could make an onion cry.
I wouldn't ride her into battle.
everyone has a right to be ugly, but she abuses the privilege
She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant
face like a stuntman's knee
Even the tide wouldn't take her out
A face like she's been ram raiding on scooters
a face like a shrivelled up mushroom......;)
An awful smell. = its enough to GAGG a MAGGOT - I love it..........
kevin-that should be.
-rasberry ripples.
your as useful as a trapdoor in a canoe
what are you going to do for a face when king kong asks for his ar$e back.
well I will go set sail in a wheelbarrow
angel-o- stop it I am waking up the neighbours with my belly laughing:)
The other week my dad came out with, "I'm off to point Percy at the porcelain"
Took me a minute to work out what he was on about. lol.
2little2late
16-Apr-08, 23:23
Looks like she's been hit with the ugly stick.
C'mon gettaff - ex Glasgow busses
If ye had dynamite for brains ye couldnae blow yir nose
and finally
worst chat up line
How'd ye like yir eggs?? Answer --> UNFERTILISED
the_count
17-Apr-08, 01:58
Get ya coat ... ya pulled :lol:
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