View Full Version : Internet enabled computer in your child's bedroom?
percy toboggan
02-Apr-08, 19:56
Given much recent concern...is it a good idea?
My two - boy and girl had black and white telly's from the age of about ten in their bedrooms..viewing habits closely monitored.... (early/mid-eighties)
Neither would have had a p.c. in their bedrooms had they been around at the time...though my son had an 'atari' and a commodore..we used to loa dsimple games via cassette tapes - anti-diluvian they seem now...however..
I'm glad to say my daughter will not of course allow a t.v. in her five year old's room...not that she's asked for one...I reckon that's at least another five years down the line...computer...not until she's studying career options if I have my way...no probs downstairs of course...in family areas the sooner the better for mouse control and co-ordination, and writing/studying ....hopefully face book is a decade away.
I do not like aspects of the net for kids ...intrusive...isolating..anti-social in a physical sense..cut and paste culture for school work...can you add to my list?..or am I being alarmist...even stupid?
lynne duncan
02-Apr-08, 20:08
my 10 and 7 year olds have "old" computers in their bedrooms but no internet access, they use the living room comp if they need internet access for homework but only with our supervision, and they know why we don't allow them free reign on the internet.
It shouldn't destroy the family unit if you don't let it. Sit down for meals together, have set times they can use the pc. There are loads of programs that you can use to monitor and block if necessary certain types of web content. As a research tool for school work it is definitely an asset.
percy toboggan
02-Apr-08, 20:27
It shouldn't destroy the family unit if you don't let it. Sit down for meals together, have set times they can use the pc. There are loads of programs that you can use to monitor and block if necessary certain types of web content. As a research tool for school work it is definitely an asset.
For adolescents perhaps...not for children.
Not sitting down for meals together would not occur to me and mine.
Although, regretfully, there were a fair few meals when Dad wasn't within 200 miles.
I agree the net can be a wonderful tool, there is a downside and it's best excluded from small kids in their bedrooms. Bedrooms are largely for sleeping in...not for isolating oneself in a dubious private world..beyond a few minutes reading before sleep.
For adolescents perhaps...not for children.
Not sitting down for meals together would not occur to me and mine.
Although, regretfully, there were a fair few meals when Dad wasn't within 200 miles.
I agree the net can be a wonderful tool, there is a downside and it's best excluded from small kids in their bedrooms. Bedrooms are largely for sleeping in...not for isolating oneself in a dubious private world..beyond a few minutes reading before sleep.I agree with your point about children and I was thinking more about teenage access to the internet.
Unfortunately, sitting down to dinners together as a family is not as common as it once was. Some kids would rather retreat to their bedrooms and the pc or games console rather than sit down to a meal with their parents, in fact anything rather than sit with their parents.
percy toboggan
02-Apr-08, 20:40
Some kids would rather retreat to their bedrooms and the pc or games console rather than sit down to a meal with their parents, in fact anything rather than sit with their parents.
I know, and beyond natural teenage truculence and antipathy it baffles me. Sometimes parents need to be more assertive...and need not to be 'friends' with their kids....'parent' is a much more useful function at ages up to late teens.
NickInTheNorth
02-Apr-08, 20:44
As soon as I possibly can I'll be putting an internet access PC in my daughters bedroom (the 2 of them share, one is just coming up to 11, the other is 9 and a half).
What they can access will be controlled. When they can use it will be controlled. And much of the time I am sure they will still use one of the "family" pc's. The control will be in exactly the same form as we currently use. They ask before they access anything! And they ask before they use it!
Works well for us.
percy toboggan
02-Apr-08, 20:49
And they ask before they use it!
Now that, I like.
Sounds like a charming, old fashioned concept....probably why I like it.
my kids dont have a computer in their bedroom just the one downstairs. their time is restricted and there internet access is restricted too. they cant access much without our consent. i will let them on to my name but only if i know what they are going to be looking at. all chatrooms is blocked on both their names so they are limited in what they look at.
Bobinovich
02-Apr-08, 21:36
Our two (at 6 & almost 8) have access to an old PC within view of the main living area, and are limited to just a handful of pre-choosen sites (CBeebies, NickJr, etc.). They're not restricted as to when they can go on (so long as homework is done and bedrooms tidy, etc.) but they don't use it that often.
They both have TVs in their bedrooms but they are only used for the odd DVD and their respective games consoles (a VSmile and a 2nd hand PS2), but again only occasionally.
I know, and beyond natural teenage truculence and antipathy it baffles me. Sometimes parents need to be more assertive...and need not to be 'friends' with their kids....'parent' is a much more useful function at ages up to late teens.
As a parent of five and also a friend of five, its important to be both. I treat mine with the respect they deserve, and in return i get respect back.My middle daughter has internet access in her room and she is responsible using it,there is also a pc in the living room.We always eat meals together, and do a lot of activitys as a family .Its when parents are too busy to notice whats going on that problems start with kids.
Tighsonas4
02-Apr-08, 21:56
INTERNET ACCESS
it must quite an ordeal for parents today no matter what they do.
there seems to be so many ways of GROOMING children and the amounts of sites is endless. still think it a great privelage when the family can all gather for a meal .this is not so common today UNFORTUNATELY.
regards tony
INTERNET ACCESS
it must quite an ordeal for parents today no matter what they do.
there seems to be so many ways of GROOMING children and the amounts of sites is endless. still think it a great privelage when the family can all gather for a meal .this is not so common today UNFORTUNATELY.
regards tonyI watched a program about the tv dinner culture of America which has become prevalent in Britain. Changing lifestyles, working patterns equal fragmented family meal-times with a reliance on convenience food. Just stick a ready meal in the microwave whenever you have time to eat seems to be the way things are going.
percy toboggan
02-Apr-08, 22:33
Personally I think parenting and frienship are mutually exclusive for at least seventeen or eighteen years. For a start, what sensible adult wants a seven year old as a 'friend' for goodness sake?
I'm not suggesting one needs to be 'unfriendly'...but the entire concept of friendship...is surely about like minds...shared experiences...etc...and easy going acquiescence...give and take etc....none of which is really reconcilable with parenting children, who need boundaries, discipline, understanding and guidance....not forgetting love of course..I like my friends...but I dunna love 'em.
NickInTheNorth
02-Apr-08, 22:42
Personally I think parenting and frienship are mutually exclusive for at least seventeen or eighteen years. For a start, what sensible adult wants a seven year old as a 'friend' for goodness sake?
I'm not suggesting one needs to be 'unfriendly'...but the entire concept of friendship...is surely about like minds...shared experiences...etc...and easy going acquiescence...give and take etc....none of which is really reconcilable with parenting children, who need boundaries, discipline, understanding and guidance....not forgetting love of course..I like my friends...but I dunna love 'em.
Getting to be a habit, but I have to agree with you Percy.
Parents are parents. They should respect their children, and in return are entitled to respect. But friendship...
Not for me with my kids. They all love me. They respect me. They even obey me (sometimes they will politely question what I say and will be listened to - and sometimes even get me to change my mind!). But friends - no never.
It is rather like being an employer or manager or supervisor of some description. Yes aim for a "friendly" and amiable relationship. But their must be respect. And the bottom line must be that what the "boss" or "parent" says goes.
Friendship is a relationship of equals. A parent child relationship is not.
Kevin Milkins
02-Apr-08, 23:11
I got married very young and had 3 sons by the time I was 19. I felt very privaleged that as they grew up they developed an interest in my passion for rugby and all started playing from the age of six. My last first team game was at the age of 39 by which time all three where playing first team rugby along side me. I think they thought of me as a mate and we had a great time on and off the field.
mums angels
02-Apr-08, 23:25
My 9 year old daughter has a laptop with internet access in but only uses it for games etc ..she has bebo but she doesn't know her password so has to ask permission to use that and i check her history etc to make sure shes not on anything she shouldn't be .
Both older kids have DVD's in rooms but the tv is not connected to normal tv even then its restricted to weekend bed times and holidays etc (if the weathers nice they much perfer to be outside anyway) . As for computer games they are restricted as much as possible and depend on behaviour etc however i find the house is becoming over run by computer consoles that i constantly feel like throwing them out ...i hate the things.
Personally I think parenting and frienship are mutually exclusive for at least seventeen or eighteen years. For a start, what sensible adult wants a seven year old as a 'friend' for goodness sake?
I'm not suggesting one needs to be 'unfriendly'...but the entire concept of friendship...is surely about like minds...shared experiences...etc...and easy going acquiescence...give and take etc....none of which is really reconcilable with parenting children, who need boundaries, discipline, understanding and guidance....not forgetting love of course..I like my friends...but I dunna love 'em.
My lot do have my friendship, ok maybe im not a sensible adult but iv got four teenagers and one 3 yeasr old who have been brought up knowing right from wrong,are always doing something and not hanging round street corners( nor have any wish to do so).They do have discipline, are bright kids and better company than a lot of adults.So maybe my way is wrong but iv ended up with a family who are close and come to me with thier problems not someone else, so im always aware of whats what.Unlike so many youngsters now.
I got married very young and had 3 sons by the time I was 19. I felt very privaleged that as they grew up they developed an interest in my passion for rugby and all started playing from the age of six. My last first team game was at the age of 39 by which time all three where playing first team rugby along side me. I think they thought of me as a mate and we had a great time on and off the field.
Thats what its all about:)
You can be friends and a parent at the same time,my oldest son and I are very close,he respects me,can tell me anything(even when I dont want to hear it) he is always respectful to adults and would never disobey me.He has the internet in his room and has had unrestricted access to the internet since he was 15,I trust him and I know that he wouldnt betray that trust.My younger sons dont have unlimited access,they use the "family" computer and they have their own accounts that have been set up to only allow access to things I approve of x
growing up we never had a computer til i was 15, even then it was in the dining room and my parents kept a close eye on what we were on..... i would never let my daughter have a laptop or use internet access until she was a teen..... to many parents let there kids have bebo accounts or myspace, me personally i just dont agree with it
percy toboggan
03-Apr-08, 19:48
You can be friends and a parent at the same time,
That's your view and you're fully entitled to it.
Personally, I think you are wrong, but I don't expect,
or particularly want you to care.
We have one computer in our "den" which everyone uses. I agreed not to monitor the older boys browsing this year as they are 18 and 19, however they have also agreed to be careful about viewing anything "innappropriate" as their 13 yr old brother uses the same PC and i would hate for him to stumble across something I wouldnt like him to see. My 13 year old asked for a laptop for his xmas and birthday presents and I said no. I dont beleive he is old enough yet to have his own pc with internet access in his room. i have however allowed him to have his own bebo page this year.
I remember however when we got our first PC one of the boys was 11 and when i looked i found a number of page three sites. I called him in to ask him what he had been looking for - i understood he wqas doing a project on the solar system. He was mortified saying he had put "the sun" into google and thats what had come up. I had to explain about the Sun as a newspaper and its boobs page. It was very funny but taught me a lesson about filters and the like.
That's your view and you're fully entitled to it.
Personally, I think you are wrong, but I don't expect,
or particularly want you to care.
Thanks for that Percy....although I am a bit taken aback that you felt you had to say it quite so bluntly.....you asked our opinions, I gave mine,I did not say that you were wrong nor did I say that i wanted you to care about what I thought x
percy toboggan
03-Apr-08, 21:29
Thanks for that Percy....although I am a bit taken aback that you felt you had to say it quite so bluntly.....you asked our opinions, I gave mine,I did not say that you were wrong nor did I say that i wanted you to care about what I thought x
I cared enough to respond, but didn't expect you to do so.....and I didn't mean to be blunt...although it's a trait...sorry Thumper. No hard feelings I hope.
None at all Percy,thank you for saying so x
my eldest has her own laptop which most of the time she works with in the sitting room but sometimes she takes it upstairs to her room, but when the main modem goes of then that is her internet connection gone, she has a page on bebo which i know the password to so i can keep a eye on who or what is being said, it is just a sign of the time kids with computers in their rooms, thats why most broadban providers have parental controls.
percy toboggan
03-Apr-08, 21:55
it is just a sign of the time kids with computers in their rooms, thats why most broadban providers have parental controls.
I'd wager many parents do not know how to set them.
Sign of the times? right...a bit like...
binge drinking at fourteen
chlamydia epidemic
indiscipline in schools
bourgeoning bullying
mobile phones for all...especially those who need them least
signs of the times?...go with the flow?...or have the nouse to realise the times might be wrong and have the balls to say no occasionally. I realise some parents cannot handle the resultant aggro...another sign of the times.
mums angels
03-Apr-08, 23:07
growing up we never had a computer til i was 15, even then it was in the dining room and my parents kept a close eye on what we were on..... i would never let my daughter have a laptop or use internet access until she was a teen..... to many parents let there kids have bebo accounts or myspace, me personally i just dont agree with it
Never say never Ash you never know what might change in 10 years ....
I said never this and never that but on certain things i've had to change my view for one reason or another .
Never say never Ash you never know what might change in 10 years ....
I said never this and never that but on certain things i've had to change my view for one reason or another .
i disagree, nowadays whats wrong with kids being kids and playing with those things called toys!
i know lots of kids with laptops and games consoles i just wont be going down that road and these kids have had them at the age of 4 or 5.....:roll:
I'd wager many parents do not know how to set them.
Sign of the times? right...a bit like...
binge drinking at fourteen
chlamydia epidemic
indiscipline in schools
bourgeoning bullying
mobile phones for all...especially those who need them least
signs of the times?...go with the flow?...or have the nouse to realise the times might be wrong and have the balls to say no occasionally. I realise some parents cannot handle the resultant aggro...another sign of the times.
i have parental controls set on my computer plus they are on my daughters laptop and i recieve a report telling me what websites she has been on, plus even the simply ones like for example my little pony, need the parent permission to allow the child to go on, i know what my daughter does on the computer so dont really see it as a problem, as you said a sign of the times which we all must follow or risk getting left behind.
mums angels
04-Apr-08, 10:54
i disagree, nowadays whats wrong with kids being kids and playing with those things called toys!
i know lots of kids with laptops and games consoles i just wont be going down that road and these kids have had them at the age of 4 or 5.....:roll:
There is nothing wrong with kids playing with toys Ash , mine have more than they need and play with them constantly either that or they are outside playing on the numerous outdoor toys they have , i perfer it when they do that but comes a time when little ones say ...mummy i want this for xmas etc and all of a sudden you think whats the harm. the only downfall is when some parents let their children sit in front of these consoles etc all day everyday .
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