View Full Version : why are our kids never happy
STUDMUFFIN
26-Feb-08, 23:56
our children must be the most neglected children in the whole of caithness, whatever we do or buy there is always someone who does things better or has more material posessions. they want a ps2 each they get one, they want a ds each they get one, they want to go swimming we go. i get earache because i put fruit in their school lunch, i get earache because i do a lot of home cooking and don't deep fry everything. the house is like noah's ark with all the pets they wanted but i have now adopted. we give them lots of love, cuddles and support them in everything they do from football to homework from cross stitch to badminton. is it all kids that are like this or are we failing them somewhere?
ciderally
27-Feb-08, 00:00
know what you mean..been there...dont know what i would have done if i had more than the one...maybe thats whare i went wrong...keep smiling...
STUDMUFFIN
27-Feb-08, 00:10
know what you mean..been there...dont know what i would have done if i had more than the one...maybe thats whare i went wrong...keep smiling...
no, i think thats where you went right. we love them dearly and they make me laugh the majority of the time but when they get going all at the same time its an absolute nightmare. they make you feel so guilty.
Metalattakk
27-Feb-08, 00:12
is it all kids that are like this or are we failing them somewhere?
All spoilt children are like this. I mean, why wouldn't they be? They want, they get. So they want more.
Kevin Milkins
27-Feb-08, 00:15
Any child that is not exposed to a rugby ball at young age is having a deprived child hood. Shame on you bad parent.:lol:LOL Its been a saying since time began,The moreyou give the more they want.
STUDMUFFIN
27-Feb-08, 00:16
All spoilt children are like this. I mean, why wouldn't they be? They want, they get. So they want more.
is that the voice of experience?
Metalattakk
27-Feb-08, 00:17
No, as none of my kids were ever spoilt. It's just common sense, I suspect. Look, others are agreeing with me too.
STUDMUFFIN
27-Feb-08, 00:19
Any child that is not exposed to a rugby ball at young age is having a deprived child hood. Shame on you bad parent.:lol:LOL Its been a saying since time began,The moreyou give the more they want.
they've got a rugby ball and they're still at a young age.
STUDMUFFIN
27-Feb-08, 00:22
No, as none of my kids were ever spoilt. It's just common sense, I suspect. Look, others are agreeing with me too.
definately not disagreeing with you, but any ideas on how to correct the situation without starting world war three?
they've got a rugby ball and they're still at a young age.
Oh well, there's hope for them yet! :lol:
DeHaviLand
27-Feb-08, 00:23
our children must be the most neglected children in the whole of caithness, whatever we do or buy there is always someone who does things better or has more material posessions. they want a ps2 each they get one, they want a ds each they get one, they want to go swimming we go. i get earache because i put fruit in their school lunch, i get earache because i do a lot of home cooking and don't deep fry everything. the house is like noah's ark with all the pets they wanted but i have now adopted. we give them lots of love, cuddles and support them in everything they do from football to homework from cross stitch to badminton. is it all kids that are like this or are we failing them somewhere?
I think saying "no" to them more often would help. Seems like they've learned to take advantage of you. Kids eh! Who'd have em?
definately not disagreeing with you, but any ideas on how to correct the situation without starting world war three?
Run away from home; you I mean, not the kiddies! They will appreciate you when you come back after six months.......:roll:
STUDMUFFIN
27-Feb-08, 00:25
Run away from home; you I mean, not the kiddies! They will appreciate you when you come back after six months.......:roll:
sounds tempting.
Metalattakk
27-Feb-08, 00:26
definately not disagreeing with you, but any ideas on how to correct the situation without starting world war three?
WWIII is inevitable in this case, I think. :(
Don't worry, it won't last too long...10 or 15 years, tops. :D
STUDMUFFIN
27-Feb-08, 00:30
WWIII is inevitable in this case, I think. :(
Don't worry, it won't last too long...10 or 15 years, tops. :D
cheers. think its time for some tough love then.
Kevin Milkins
27-Feb-08, 00:33
they've got a rugby ball and they're still at a young age.
They will grow up to be fine young people then.
Its easy to pull your hair out when all is not as good as you think it might be.
Diet has got more to do with a childs behavour than most people think.
The very fact you are concerned tells me all will be well.
Keep smiling
mums angels
27-Feb-08, 00:53
unless its an occasion or they've earnt it with excellent behaviour over a period of time they just don't get in my house ( not including when grandma visits :lol:) find it works very well i don't have them asking for things everytime we walk in a shop etc as it used to drive me mad when they were little as i did have a tendancy to spoil them back then but that soon stopped after the first tantrum .
they have almost everything they want but have to wait for occasions etc and if they don't appreciate the item and leave it lying around where it shouldn't be its confiscated and they earn it back .
its the hubby thats the spoilt one, he wants, he gets it i'm fed up with x-box, ps3, wii and helicopters etc cluttering up the place and he never uses any of them LOL
answer to the question though ..no they are never happy but then are any of us ?
well mine get what they need when they need it and what they want for special occasions.They are neither spoilt or wanting...Thats the only way to do it.......................................
oldmarine
27-Feb-08, 04:11
cheers. think its time for some tough love then.
Tough love sounds like a good alternative when nothing else works.
Why don't parents of young children get together and say, that's it, enough is enough? I'm sure in a place like Caithness it could be done. By the time they're teens it's too late but I'm sure most parents would be so relieved not to be keeping up with all this stuff kids think they must have. Form a Union - Parents United.
I have found my daughter has started to appreciate things far, far more since I have started to say if you want something you think of a way to get it, I will help but at the end of the day it's up to you and how bad you want it.
She wanted a WII just after her birthday I said no you should have asked for your birthday, she went through all hers toy's she didn't use any more and games and sold them, she had the WII in less than a fortnight.
It has certainly taught her some appreciation of money.
She has just done the same to get a DS.
Studmuffin, I'm sure you are loving and supportive parents, and your kids are secure enough to take you for granted, which in one way is a good sign.
However -you are the adults and you are -or should be -in control of the situation. All this keeping up with the Joneses is never ending and very stressful for parents. I'd suggest you limit the number of activities your children are allowed to take part in, encourage them to spend more time reading and inventing their own amusements, and also get them more involved in helping with chores around the house -that will keep them occupied! ;)
As a family it's good if you can work as a team, and your children can make their contribution -rather than always expecting to be on the receiving end. They will probably protest loudly to begin with, but I do think that would give them a sense of satisfaction and make them feel happier.:)
I've got it to come but my own mother is my greatest influence and teacher. I wanted that scalextric and the train set and this that etc, just because my friends had them but I didn't get a fraction of it. In the end, I don't love my parents any less for not giving me what I wanted.
I hope to put a lid on all the peer pressure wrt my own child somehow but time will tell...:roll:
been there done that!
I used to give the children whatever they wanted & like yours they always wanted more. then I thought enough was enough if they were ever going to appreciate it they would have to either wait or work for it!
thankfully they have learnt that they cant have everything they want & they dont always need everything they ask for.tough love is definately the way.
Margaret M.
27-Feb-08, 14:53
It is much harder to say no but parents need to do it. There is nothing sadder than a child who has everything -- nowadays, so many kids' bedrooms look like toy stores. Children who are given everything their hearts desire will never know the feeling of total joy when they finally get something for which they have longed. I have yet to see a child who has benefitted from having all the latest stuff.
yes i agree...i have learnt over the years that you give them what you think they need and not what they think they need.....my kids love it when they get something new.....They appreciate that becuase there are so many of them that money does not grow on trees and so it makes them more appreciative of what they do get...Although it gets trashed pretty quick..We dont replace if they break on purpose....
But when i egt old and they are earning i am gonna take all i can get of the little monsters....Pay back time.....
danc1ngwitch
27-Feb-08, 15:08
Talking to my 12 year old boy this morning, and i was on about sight seeing. He said " i dunno wot so great bout that" Hmmmm, i said lad when you get older you will know that everything around you looks beautiful. He looked at me as if to say ok call the Doc, and said " yep prolly".
I Have been blessed 6 times, My boys are happy to go climbing trees and beach roaming, My girls are gentle and loving.
Maybe its just the way i see them.
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