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View Full Version : Samaritans..Help or Hindrance..



justine
23-Feb-08, 17:39
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/skynews/20080223/tuk-samaritans-take-to-streets-of-bridge-45dbed5.html

Do you feel that this kind of action helps or hinders...
My personal opinion is they dont make things better, but then i am not well up on the subject..

golach
23-Feb-08, 17:42
Do you feel that this kind of action helps or hinders...
My personal opinion is they dont make things better, but then i am not well up on the subject..


My opinion is that if the Samaritans save one teenager from killing themselves, then it is worth it.

percy toboggan
23-Feb-08, 17:44
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/skynews/20080223/tuk-samaritans-take-to-streets-of-bridge-45dbed5.html (http://forum.caithness.org/go.php?url=http://uk.news.yahoo.com/skynews/20080223/tuk-samaritans-take-to-streets-of-bridge-45dbed5.html)

Do you feel that this kind of action helps or hinders...
My personal opinion is they dont make things better, but then i am not well up on the subject..
I'm wondering how it may 'hinder'
If any more youngsters are contemplating suicide I don't think speaking to a samaritan would push them over the edge.

danc1ngwitch
23-Feb-08, 17:47
when real issues occur, family sometimes ain't there, they listen and never call you a liar. They dana judge you either.

ett23
23-Feb-08, 17:50
I'm wondering how it may 'hinder'
If any more youngsters are contemplating suicide I don't think speaking to a samaritan would push them over the edge.

Have to agree with you there! I could just imagine their reasoning: "Oh no, somebody cares about me.....I'm definitely going to kill myself now!!!" :lol:

trix
23-Feb-08, 18:06
i think 'e samaritans are brilliant, they're one o' ma favourite charities.

ma friend is a samaritan in glesgow, he works every seturday for nothin an a couple o' evenings a week, he gets lots o training on how til speak til people aboot their problems, what a lovely voice he hes....

also fail til see how they could be a hindrance :confused

KCI
23-Feb-08, 18:15
At some point, everyone needs to talk about their problems. Not everyone has family or friends who will listen to them, but the Samaritans are there for everyone.

I think they do a brilliant job, and it's great that they still have the volunteers to help out.

I don't see how they could ever be a hindrance. They spend their time helping people and saving lives. Good on them.

Highland Laddie
23-Feb-08, 18:45
I think you'll find there are lots of people that are probably alive today, thanks to the Samaritans.

As someone else said, if they even save one life, then yes, they are definitely a help and NOT a hindrance.

Alice in Blunderland
23-Feb-08, 20:13
If by taking to the streets and talking to the young people they manage to save even one life or make the kids think again then its worth it.

The samaritans are there 24/7 just to talk to and there are many people who are out there who have relied on that fact and are possibly here today because of it.

A friendly voice to help some people talk through their problems and fears or even just to listen can be a vital lifeline to those most desperate when they are at their lowest.

One of the charities I personally dont mind giving money to. :D

karia
23-Feb-08, 21:47
I reckon that Justine meant (and she will correct me if I am wrong) that any more attention to the suicide issue in Wales might keep it uppermost in people's minds and since no one has a clue what is happening there but that publicity does seem to feed it...there might be a danger of things escalating the more prominent the issue is.

justine
23-Feb-08, 22:08
I will tell you a little story that sums up my feelings..A friend of my husband phoned them one night ,desperate and feeling very suicidal..They talked for ages, about all they felt regarding kids and all.You know what advice they were given,

STOP BEING SO SELFISH AND GET ON WITH IT.....Now you imagine what that would be like for a lonely depressed teenager.phoning a group that profess to being there if you need them and to get a response like that....I find that kind of attitude against all they stand for..Now i am not saying that this will be the case in Bridgend but the samaritans have obviously been in bridgend before all the suicides. Now can you tell me these teens wanted to use the service, not in my opinion....

I dont doubt that their message is clear and but it has not worked so far. Having someone to talk to when you are feeling depressed is a good thing, as i well know, but i IMHO dont think the samaritans are then end of the line for many....I would not speak to them after that,knowing that some jerk on the phone could have that attitude.....

In a sense Karia you have what i meant, but it is down to the fact that they have gone into Bridgend only after so many suicides, what about after the first one, Where were they then....

percy toboggan
23-Feb-08, 22:08
The spate of suicides in and around Bridgend may well be outwith the Samaritans terms of reference. I'm tempted to open a thread exploring the possible causes...and the wider phenomenon of sites like facebook and myspace, perhaps developing theories as to why some of the comments about the dead seem so strange.
"Hope you're having a good time up there" was just one I read of....and it's typical I'm told of the 'memorial pages' which appear very quickly, almost a kind of fashion, and a way of kids finding some kind of fame?....a commodity many are apparently seeking.I wonder if the concept of a 'virtual death' has emerged within the psyche of a vulnerable group of teenagers.

I'm also puzzled by quotes from the parents of dead youngsters friends, who are quoted as saying say things like 'he's really upset and has been texting 'the victim' to say goodbye.

For some, it seems the internet has become a kind of parallel universe. I spend a fair bit of time here and online generallly but feel equipped with the emotional and intellectual resources to keep it 'in its place'.I have the nouse of forty five years spent without the net to be able to appreciate it for what it is, an addendum to life, a valuable accessory yet shallow, even at the deep end. No subsitute for real world relationships.I'm sure there was a thread here recently discussing the 'net' but it seemed to disappear. The internet must figure very prominently in the lives of young, heavy users, I just wonder if it is distorting their view of the ultimate reality.

Suicide is a majorly heavy subject, with personal and deep grief involved so any such thread could cause upset, which I do not want to do. However, I've not seen any comments about the Bridgend deaths from detached outsiders, apart from the plethora of 'experts' whose conclusions seem no more valuable than layman's conjecture.

justine
23-Feb-08, 22:25
The spate of suicides in and around Bridgend may well be outwith the Samaritans terms of reference. I'm tempted to open a thread exploring the possible causes...and the wider phenomenon of sites like facebook and myspace, perhaps developing theories as to why some of the comments about the dead seem so strange.
"Hope you're having a good time up there" was just one I read of....and it's typical I'm told of the 'memorial pages' which appear very quickly, almost a kind of fashion, and a way of kids finding some kind of fame?....a commodity many are apparently seeking.I wonder if the concept of a 'virtual death' has emerged within the psyche of a vulnerable group of teenagers.

I'm also puzzled by quotes from the parents of dead youngsters friends, who are quoted as saying say things like 'he's really upset and has been texting 'the victim' to say goodbye.

For some, it seems the internet has become a kind of parallel universe. I spend a fair bit of time here and online generallly but feel equipped with the emotional and intellectual resources to keep it 'in its place'.I have the nouse of forty five years spent without the net to be able to appreciate it for what it is, an addendum to life, a valuable accessory yet shallow, even at the deep end. No subsitute for real world relationships.I'm sure there was a thread here recently discussing the 'net' but it seemed to disappear. The internet must figure very prominently in the lives of young, heavy users, I just wonder if it is distorting their view of the ultimate reality.

Suicide is a majorly heavy subject, with personal and deep grief involved so any such thread could cause upset, which I do not want to do. However, I've not seen any comments about the Bridgend deaths from detached outsiders, apart from the plethora of 'experts' whose conclusions seem no more valuable than layman's conjecture.

This is it percy, things like this have to be figured out..Why are they killing themselves...What reasons are there for somany people in one are to do this..But i dont think the samaritans are of much help in this situation at all...

maybe starting a thread on suicides might make people more aware..


I know many moons ago i tried to end my days only to be helped through it...

I have had 2 uncles, 1 cousin and quite a few mates that have commited the ultimate sin in the eyes of our lord so to speak..I know the effects of it from both sides.....

Imagine what the families must feel..A friend of a friend, should i say, his father commited suicide, by hanging himself from his favourite tree...1 yr on his oldest son was found hanging from the same tree, by his younger son...Then 2 months after that he commited suicide in the same tree. I understand the pain and heart felt distruction it can bring so if i have a problem with the samaritans, i hope all reading this will understand why i started this thread..........

ett23
23-Feb-08, 22:38
[quote=justine;345136]I will tell you a little story that sums up my feelings..A friend of my husband phoned them one night ,desperate and feeling very suicidal..They talked for ages, about all they felt regarding kids and all.You know what advice they were given,

STOP BEING SO SELFISH AND GET ON WITH IT.....Now you imagine what that would be like for a lonely depressed teenager.phoning a group that profess to being there if you need them and to get a response like that....I find that kind of attitude against all they stand for..Now i am not saying that this will be the case in Bridgend but the samaritans have obviously been in bridgend before all the suicides. Now can you tell me these teens wanted to use the service, not in my opinion....

I dont doubt that their message is clear and but it has not worked so far. Having someone to talk to when you are feeling depressed is a good thing, as i well know, but i IMHO dont think the samaritans are then end of the line for many....I would not speak to them after that,knowing that some jerk on the phone could have that attitude.../quote]

Seems unfair to tar the whole organization with the same brush. Surely that was just a one-off, and as so many people on here seem to agree with me - most volunteers in The Samaritans genuinely want to help people. Why criticize people who are doing their best to help individuals when they are at their lowest and most vulnerable and most in need of support. At least they're trying to do something worthwhile instead of sitting back waiting for the next teen suicide to happen! :eek:

justine
23-Feb-08, 22:44
[quote=justine;345136]I will tell you a little story that sums up my feelings..A friend of my husband phoned them one night ,desperate and feeling very suicidal..They talked for ages, about all they felt regarding kids and all.You know what advice they were given,

STOP BEING SO SELFISH AND GET ON WITH IT.....Now you imagine what that would be like for a lonely depressed teenager.phoning a group that profess to being there if you need them and to get a response like that....I find that kind of attitude against all they stand for..Now i am not saying that this will be the case in Bridgend but the samaritans have obviously been in bridgend before all the suicides. Now can you tell me these teens wanted to use the service, not in my opinion....

I dont doubt that their message is clear and but it has not worked so far. Having someone to talk to when you are feeling depressed is a good thing, as i well know, but i IMHO dont think the samaritans are then end of the line for many....I would not speak to them after that,knowing that some jerk on the phone could have that attitude.../quote]

Seems unfair to tar the whole organization with the same brush. Surely that was just a one-off, and as so many people on here seem to agree with me - most volunteers in The Samaritans genuinely want to help people. Why criticize people who are doing their best to help individuals when they are at their lowest and most vulnerable and most in need of support. At least they're trying to do something worthwhile instead of sitting back waiting for the next teen suicide to happen! :eek:
But it has taken how many deaths now for them to take action....Now talk to me about being there to help....how many could have been stopped. The samaitans have become a joke, nation wide because of there own attitudes....They blast you with allsorts of nonsense and then come running when it suits them....

I m sorry if this offends anyone but i have had my fair share of them and i think they could have been there from the begining when bridgend relalised something was gong on.....How many have died to date 18 i believe, (correct me if i am wrong)..The numbers speak for them selves.The samaritans are now hoping to have a session once a month starting from April, what good is that now. please tell me....How many more will die between feb-mar and april.............

KCI
24-Feb-08, 00:06
Suicide is a very difficult and emotional topic, isn't it?

Sometimes, people are overwhelmed with the problems in their lives, and they just can't see any way out. If they have decided that suicide is the only way for them, they may not even give the Samaritans, or anyone else a chance to help them. Anyone who commits, or tries to commit suicide must be desperate, and feel that it is the only way out for them.

I still feel that the Samaritans do their best, and try to be there for people who need them. But if people don't contact them for help, there isn't much they can do.

Although, I can see Justine's point, about them not starting sessions until April. Hopefully this will be reviewed.

justine
24-Feb-08, 01:58
Yes it is, and it also a heart wrenching one...But my point of this thread was to state that they were not there at first..The tenns and most people know about them, but they chose not to use them, why, well we will never know...
But my question goes unanswered, Why do they feel the need to rush in now after 18 deaths and not after the first,
Reason:::IMHO
Sounds as if they are promoting there group after the 18 deaths have become public....No one from the organization was on board before these tragedies...trying to make people aware of what they do, far too late...
It a pity we had no-one from the area to tell us how it is working..I am not knocking the group for there world wide fame, but in this instence i think that it is too late to do any sort of condolences and "we are here to help you, all you need to do is call. I can imagine the families thinking much the same, but then i am somewhat against them ,but i do know that they have helped many many people, but not in bridgend....................................:(:~(

Kevin Milkins
24-Feb-08, 02:21
I understand they have been working flat out in Scotland after the rugby today.

justine
24-Feb-08, 02:33
I understand they have been working flat out in Scotland after the rugby today.
Not much else to be said..........what was the score, missed the game......[lol]

Kevin Milkins
24-Feb-08, 02:46
Not much else to be said..........what was the score, missed the game......[lol]

Ireland 34-Scotland 13
Wales 34 -Italy 8
France 13- England 24

Venture
24-Feb-08, 02:48
I dont think its the case that they are trying to promote themselves just because of what has happened more that they are trying to give additional help. The Samaritans have an office in Bridgend It offers a telephone, email, letter and face to face service. Its not simply a case of every person who feels suicidal heads direct to the samaritans. Many of them steer clear of them deliberately for fear of being persuaded not to take their own life. Sometimes they can show no evidence at all to the outside world that they have these thoughts. The service is there for those that need it or want it. Every phonecall is monitored and the people who answer are professionaly trained. The majority of people who want to take their own lives dont want help. I dont think anyone will ever find out why there are so many incidents in one place. Im sure each individual would have had their own story to tell. The Samaritans have helped save many lives worldwide and if by going out onto the streets of Bridgend they can help even only one person then it will have been worth it.

Moira
24-Feb-08, 02:52
Yes it is, and it also a heart wrenching one...But my point of this thread was to state that they were not there at first.......

I've always believed the Samaritans were doing a good job in a field that not too many people wish to touch on, let alone get involved with. Are you suggesting that each of these 18 people who chose to end their lives, for whatever reason, contacted the Samaritans beforehand and were let down by them?

I've not researched the whole story here, but my understanding is that whilst we may all hum & haw here, the Samaritans have grasped the public mantle by actually going out and about in the area concerned. I applaud them.

Kevin Milkins
24-Feb-08, 03:13
I worked for a funeral director for a number of years and had the unfortunate job of sorting out the aftermath of an individuals choice to end there life.
It used to leave me with very mixed emotions . To take your life is a bit final for you but the hurt that is causes to those people left behind can often not be mesured.When I arranged a funeral for a family that have had a close relative take there own life you get to know the circumstances of that person leading up to death. More often than not it tends to be somthing very trivial that tips a person over the edge. I often thought that when I was preparing a body in our chapel of rest ,If only I could have had a little time to talk this through with you, you would not be here in front of me now and proberbly gone on and had a happy life.However we will never know.

JAWS
24-Feb-08, 06:49
To clarify on the suicides in th Bridgend area. The suicides are no in one small community, which is what the National Press are indicating. Some of them have happened as far away as 15 miles form Bridgend.
The population is around 130,000 and apparently the numbers involved, although tragic for those involved, are about normal for that size of population over the same period of time.

Contrary to the wild speculation in the National Media it would seem that there is no connection between the suicides and any of the Social Networking sites, neither is there any "Suicide Cult". Most of those involved are not known to one another, although a smell number have been, some having been at the same schools. (Now there's a surprise)

The local Press, who you would think would be far more in touch with local matters than the National Media, are treating the whole thing in a far more realistic and calm manner.
Basically, the whole thing has been blown out of all proportion by sensational story-telling to increase newspaper circulation.

Where does all this information come from? The police who investigate the deaths and the Coroner who holds the official enquiries into them., both of which would be in a far better position to know of any links that the Media.
The Coroner is also of the opinion that the hysteria which the Media is stirring up is doing a great deal towards worsening the situation and certainly is not helping improve things.

Highland Laddie
24-Feb-08, 12:21
I always thought the Samaritans were a group of volunteers who freely gave up their time to man telephones, or e-mail or face to face chats with people that felt the need for a compasionate ear.

But now when they see a certain area in the country with what seems to be a teen group problem, they have decided to go into the street to have chats with people and highlight that they are there if anyone felt the need to chat, no problem there as far as i can see.

yet some replies on here seem to make them out as if they were ambulance chasers touting for trade !!!

pat
24-Feb-08, 13:33
I wrote this in the forum in November - perhaps we can all try that little bit harder so it does happen

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have been on a suidcide intervention course - very informative, useful and thought provoking, very worthwhile.
If everyone spent a little time if you notice someone down or having the worlds worries on their shoulders, talk to them instead of passing by.
You can lift someone just by that little bit of care and attention. Enough to show that someone does care and things are not as black as they appear, there is light at the end of the tunnel, things do get better, your few words may mean so much.
Please do not pass on the other side of the road, specially when you know someone has had a hiccough in life and may be finding it difficult.
We are all so busy with our own lives but please - think twice, be nice.

We never know when it may be us who feels at the end of our tether and need a gentle helping hand.



You can take a horse to the water trough, you cannot make it drink - the facilities were available for folk to use the Samaritans but for some reason they chose not to use them, why no one will ever know.

One of the highest rates for suicide is the Western Isles and Highlands - you do not have to look far to see a big problem here.