View Full Version : The Greatest and Best Thread Ever!!
An Islamic terrorist who was campaigning against windfarms lost his cat this week, in a chapel....he put an advert in his local tesco and asda, but received no replies as everyone was a queue for the dentist.
I think that's a disgrace! What do you think?
This is the greatest and best thread ever......tribute.
northener
29-Jan-08, 22:13
All this started when Eastern European gypsies were allowed to park on yellow lines in Wick and Thurso.
Since then the weather has caused many of these door-to-door spiritualists to move into the John O'Groats Hotel, which they subsequently wrecked after being told that they were too decent and were dragging up the standard of the surrounding area.
Couple this with the evil English forcing gullible and ignorant locals into selling their properties for a stupidly high price, -thus forcing out gullible and ignorant locals- and you have a recipe for something possibly happening - but nobody knows what, or when.
Personally, I blame the .Org.
.
Beware of Polish women bearing pictorial views of the future!;)
Their moustaches may not be real.
Nothing to do with terrorists ,visitors,imiigrants,incomers it's a phenomina that occurs when there are too many wind turbines.
These have a collective effect that expotentially multiplied causes the air flow to twist and this in turn may effect on the earth's magnetic field.
This would result in time pieces going out of syncronisation thus making you think you had been queuing for an hour when it was only 10minutes, things that are there one minute would be gone the next and not knowing if south was in the same direction as north the ultimate outcome would be a complete lack of orientation.
I rest my case.
Totally agree with almost everything.....oh yeah and the price of petrol is ridiculous!
Totally agree with almost everything.....oh yeah and the price of petrol is ridiculous!
I did consider changing to bio-fuel but was afraid that if I parked my car up anywhere that it might take root on the spot and then I would be stuck there. I also didn't want my paint colour to change to green as the car started to photosynthesize. :eek:
This is the greatest and best thread ever......tribute.
This is not the greatest thread in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.
Couldn't remember the greatest thread in the World, no, no.
This is a tribute, oh, to the greatest thread in the World.
A tribute to light.
That is the greatest and best.
Blue lighter burns bright.
I lost the thread after the first posting!!
It passed the test
In innocence is burning
More gas remaining
It passed the test
In innocence is burning
More gas remaining
rob, you gave it back!!!
Perhaps my madrigal songs
Lost me the lightr war.
How strange that we never see any elephants these days.:)
Elephants became extinct about the same time as religion became the new physics.
Perhaps a helpful orger could recommend a good elephant supplier? Or at least photograph of our long nosed chums?
I am shocked,dazed,amazed,dithered,bothered,worried and no longer believe what I see.
If there are no elephants then what was that huge grey beast with a tail at each end and a set of fork lifts at one that was grazing in the zoo park today?
Have the walruses climbed out of the sea?
Elephants became extinct about the same time as religion became the new physics.
The Elephant Man was told to pack his trunk and return to deepest Africa. People danced naked in the Riverside fountain that very evening. I know not whether the events were related.
Anyone is welcome to join the Campaign for Inane.
Bring your own elephant.
Nothing to do with terrorists ,visitors,imiigrants,incomers it's a phenomina that occurs when there are too many wind turbines.
These have a collective effect that expotentially multiplied causes the air flow to twist and this in turn may effect on the earth's magnetic field.
This would result in time pieces going out of syncronisation thus making you think you had been queuing for an hour when it was only 10minutes, things that are there one minute would be gone the next and not knowing if south was in the same direction as north the ultimate outcome would be a complete lack of orientation.
I rest my case.
It must have something to do with Don Quixote i think, did'nt he battle windmills and things like that? Perhaps he has changed his horse for an elephant and yes i'm sure i saw a walrus basking in the sun at the trinkie yesterday when i went for a dip.[lol]:lol:
roblovesplastic
30-Jan-08, 17:52
....light?
(cringe)
[lol]
Pachyderms became extinct on this here ORG and we have never recovered from the loss. As the only holder of genuine DNA samples I decided to reintroduce them into our ecology because we need more compost to boost humour and intelligence. Elephants are better than bulls for this purpose.
Excellent.....now all this thread needs now to complete the tribute is a good ole heated argument! Now where is Rheghead when you need him?
Oh yeah and some bad spealing....
Rheghead was busy using a Biblical analogy to prove Science was wrong, whilst Jesus came back and told us all the global warming was indeed the result of buring fossil fuels........or maybe not, he couldn't make up his mind............whilst fred was exposed as a CIA agent and senior member of the Illuminati.
The Elephants died out after the support from the 99p Shop dried up. The 99p Shop had pulled off the biggest coup in British history by acquiring Tesco with an aggressive bid. Problems started when the 99p Shop was struggling to obtain stock of 40" Plasma TVs for less than 60p, and got into deeper trouble trying to write the item off as a loss-leader. The final nail in the coffin was a world-wide shortage of 1p coins, which resulted in a price hike to £1 per item. It was the last straw for the thrifty Caithnessians, who voted with their feet (Jamie Stone, criss-cross, cheesy biro, sweaty ballot paper). Help Elephants In Distress, who had merged with CASE to become HEIDCASE, could not cope with the loss of funding and folded after an Eleventh Hour call for help to Northern Rock.
It Worked, It Really Worked.....Georgw Dubya Caused It All To Happen, And None Of You Realised It!!!!!harharharharharharharharhar..........
The Elephants died out after the support from the 99p Shop dried up. The 99p Shop had pulled off the biggest coup in British history by acquiring Tesco with an aggressive bid. Problems started when the 99p Shop was struggling to obtain stock of 40" Plasma TVs for less than 60p, and got into deeper trouble trying to write the item off as a loss-leader. The final nail in the coffin was a world-wide shortage of 1p coins, which resulted in a price hike to £1 per item. It was the last straw for the thrifty Caithnessians, who voted with their feet (Jamie Stone, criss-cross, cheesy biro, sweaty ballot paper). Help Elephants In Distress, who had merged with CASE to become HEIDCASE, could not cope with the loss of funding and folded after an Eleventh Hour call for help to Northern Rock.
Nonsense!!!! It was all down to homosexual cowboys who were into drugs and suffered elephant phobia.
This is the best thread ever(or at least a tribute).
But where are my bananas????
read the below link and you will understand what I mean :)
http://forum.caithness.org/go.php?url=http://www.simfly.eu/viewtopic.php?t=181
If you read the post by "j1nxd" (thats me) you can see i got 2 kilos of premium bananas!
Whenever I am down i read that forum and it lifts me up way above the Elephants ;)
northener
30-Jan-08, 19:40
Pachyderms became extinct on this here ORG and we have never recovered from the loss. As the only holder of genuine DNA samples I decided to reintroduce them into our ecology because we need more compost to boost humour and intelligence. Elephants are better than bulls for this purpose.
They became extinct in Caithness after eating all the trees.
So your plans of re-introduction are scunnered, unless you cross them with Glaswegian DNA- that way they will survive on Tunnocks tea cakes and gallons of 'heavy' (don't stand behind them).
They became extinct in Caithness after eating all the trees.
So your plans of re-introduction are scunnered, unless you cross them with Glaswegian DNA- that way they will survive on Tunnocks tea cakes and gallons of 'heavy' (don't stand behind them).
We, on the Org of old, inventeds a form of miniature pachyderms who could live in window box's and they survived in secret box's where there were plenty of bonzai(sp) trees. These elephants were indigenous to the Org and were not affected by the deforestation of Caithness.
Do these tiny pachyderms need any special type of nuturing?
Having grown haggis from seed.no mean task as they have to have a continous drip feed of single malt 1 part in 100,along with the correct tempo pipe band music, nothing too fast nothing to slow.
"Will you walk a little faster ," said The Walrus to the snail, "There's a lobster right behind me and he's treading on my tail."
We, on the Org of old, inventeds a form of miniature pachyderms who could live in window box's and they survived in secret box's where there were plenty of bonzai(sp) trees. These elephants were indigenous to the Org and were not affected by the deforestation of Caithness.
Were not some of them taught Gaelic and Chinese by reading street signs?
Were not some of them taught Gaelic and Chinese by reading street signs?
Ahhh...mini, Gaelic-speaking elephants! It cant possibly ever become an extinct language, then, because elephants will never forget... ;)
Were not some of them taught Gaelic and Chinese by reading street signs?
Some of them learned Latin from the pigeons.
Was that "Vene. vicchi?"
Amo amas I love an elephant.
Some of them learned Latin from the pigeons.
Others have tried to grasp some Gaelic from Weeboyagee.......
definitely th best thread ever.
northener
31-Jan-08, 10:31
Was that "Vene. vicchi?"
Well, if they learned Latin from the pigeons it would be
" I came, I saw, I crapped on"
Wot's that in Latinese then? - is it "Vene, Vicchi, Excreti"?
.
Amo,amas,amat,amamus,amatus AMANT
Just the later rhyms with elephant,
Expanding on the versatility of speech of these animals, if the pigeons taught them latin and possibly the gaelic, WHO taught the pigeons?
Weather permitting I will attempt a conversation with my feathered friends and report back later.
helenwyler
31-Jan-08, 11:33
Revenite barrus antiqui!
Quamquam arbores evanisciverunt, etiam bananas abundantes sunt:).
Banana skins?
We're on a slippery slope here!
"I talk to the trees but they don't answer me."
Banana skins?
We're on a slippery slope here!
"I talk to the trees but they don't answer me."
I talk to the trees, that's why they put me away.
northener
31-Jan-08, 14:58
Amo,amas,amat,amamus,amatus AMANT
Just the later rhyms with elephant,
Expanding on the versatility of speech of these animals, if the pigeons taught them latin and possibly the gaelic, WHO taught the pigeons?
Weather permitting I will attempt a conversation with my feathered friends and report back later.
I decided to ask the pigeons as well.
Unfortunately, it was raining hard. So I took refuge in a bus shelter and drank a couple of cans of super strength lager whilst waiting.
The only pigeons I saw were flying past - so I shouted at them at the top of my voice and attempted to draw attention to myself by gesticulating wildly with a lager can in each hand.
I am writing this from the holding cells at Wick Police Station.
I am writing this from the holding cells at Wick Police Station.
Wick police Station gives it's prisoners internet access?
That could sustain a thread in itself!;)
Awaiting responses from the man on the Watten omnibus!:lol:
northener
31-Jan-08, 20:15
Wick police Station gives it's prisoners internet access?
Of course, doesn't every nick have an E-cafe and fast food outlet?
Sheesh, some people.........
.
Hang on if you're going to have an E cafe for all those horrible synthetic additives that we are not supposed to have in our food why not a
B cafe for health freaks
C cafe for fruity types
D cafe for sun worshippers
Personaly I prefer my Cafe fresh perked, no sugar and a dash of milk.
Of course, doesn't every nick have an E-cafe and fast food outlet?
Sheesh, some people.........
.
battering the wee tin cup off the bars shouting..
'modems..modems!.. wi fi wi fi!'
we will not be s..il.enc..ed ..data error!:eek:
We have encountered a problem and are shutting down..sorry..what is this 'Red Dwarf' ?
fingalmacool
01-Feb-08, 01:46
Too many elephants in this thread and I'm confused, but seemingly not as confused as the elephants,there is elephants in their native land that are so horny that they are trying to screw rhino's,and when the rhino try's to say HEY! NOT ON YOUR NELLIE, the elephant kills the rhino, so all in all the story of the elephant that never forgets is totall bollicks, seems to me that because of their age, they seem to be like us in a way, they go through a period of looking for Miss right now instead of Miss right,but of course we dont kill, well at least some of us dont.
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