peedie man
04-Dec-07, 22:02
The little country store had sawdust on the floor and smelt of freshly ground coffee. The scrubbed pine counter contained jars of boiled lollies, boxes of beeswax candles and a shiny bacon slicer. It was the middle of World War II and there was a shortage of commodities. So you had to have your ration coupons.
A domineering local woman walked into the store and began placing an order with the shop assistant. “I would like three pounds of butter, a bottle of kerosene, four pound of potatoes and two pounds of brown Spanish onions – to be delivered by lunchtime.”
The assistant wrote the order in the book but, on reaching the last item, said, “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but we have no brown Spanish onions, for the time being.”
“Course, you have,” said the woman glaring indignantly. “I know you keep some under the counter for favoured customers. I insist on having some of those.”
The stand-off continued until the manager made an appearance. “Good morning, madam. What seems to be the trouble?”
“I have asked for brown Spanish onions and have been told there are none. But I know you keep some for special customers and would like some. If you please!”
“Madam,” said the manager, “You are an intelligent woman. May I ask you a few simple questions?”
“Certainly”
“Take the word PARSNIP, madam. Without the ‘p’ and the ‘nip’, what have we left?”
The lady replied, “ARS.”
“Yes,” said the manager. “Now, without the first four letters of the word BEETROOT, what remains?”
“ROOT, of course.”
“Very good,” said the manager. “Now, onto the final question. Take the FUGG out of ONIONS and what do we have?”
The woman frowned at him and said, “But there is no FUGG in ONIONS.”
“Quite right,” said the manager. “That’s what we’ve been trying to tell you for the last ten minutes.”
A domineering local woman walked into the store and began placing an order with the shop assistant. “I would like three pounds of butter, a bottle of kerosene, four pound of potatoes and two pounds of brown Spanish onions – to be delivered by lunchtime.”
The assistant wrote the order in the book but, on reaching the last item, said, “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but we have no brown Spanish onions, for the time being.”
“Course, you have,” said the woman glaring indignantly. “I know you keep some under the counter for favoured customers. I insist on having some of those.”
The stand-off continued until the manager made an appearance. “Good morning, madam. What seems to be the trouble?”
“I have asked for brown Spanish onions and have been told there are none. But I know you keep some for special customers and would like some. If you please!”
“Madam,” said the manager, “You are an intelligent woman. May I ask you a few simple questions?”
“Certainly”
“Take the word PARSNIP, madam. Without the ‘p’ and the ‘nip’, what have we left?”
The lady replied, “ARS.”
“Yes,” said the manager. “Now, without the first four letters of the word BEETROOT, what remains?”
“ROOT, of course.”
“Very good,” said the manager. “Now, onto the final question. Take the FUGG out of ONIONS and what do we have?”
The woman frowned at him and said, “But there is no FUGG in ONIONS.”
“Quite right,” said the manager. “That’s what we’ve been trying to tell you for the last ten minutes.”