View Full Version : holding back
danc1ngwitch
02-Dec-07, 12:47
do you think we hold back to much and never really say what we want to?
Should we be straight to the point,only holding back when we know that there is no need for it.
Do you beleive in an eye for an eye?
I prefer people to be straight wea me.
I do however hold back and listen to the most awful dribble at times.
I can also be straight forward when need be.
i prefer people that say what they think and not hold back especially with a boss so then u always no were u stand.I wish i could be like that but im not i dont like confrontation.
I think u are who u are and u cant change peoples personalitys.
I think its ok to be straight to the point as long as your not embarrising someone or being nasty about it.
Be frank...but remember to be kind at the same time!
karia
NickInTheNorth
02-Dec-07, 14:20
I say what I honestly think, especially when asked for an opinion. People that know me know that if they ask me a question I can be brutally honest. However in return I like people to be honest in return.
Tell it as it is, but tactfully ! i call a spade a spade no point beating about the bush.
I find on here that some(albeit a small amount) of people just seem to disagree purely for the point of causing an argument.They light the touchpaper and sit well back.
I love a good debate but i try and do it tastefully and with a bit of humour.
As you cannot see the person face to face i find you have to make your own picture of them,which at times can be rather frightening as i have a "mental picture" of a few on here and its not very nice!!! ;)
Though others have a lovely warm glow round them :)
he he
lol
I always appreciate honesty; if said with compassion is doesn't need to hurt. I have very good friends who I can be honest with (and them to me) and it is good to know you can trust their opinion. May not always agree but it is their truth and I can't ask more than that.
However, I know I have upset people by being honest (maybe you have noticed!) but it is never my intention to hurt; that would be too easy......
I was brought up in an era with a lot of hypocrisy (had to look that one up) about lifestyle etc., but now folks are more honest about who they are and what they do. I feel I know where I am with people who are honest with me and with themselves; makes for an easier life I think.
I'm probably a lot more assertive in real life than I am on this forum. :lol:
I do think honesty is best all round, but it's not always easy to be completely direct and honest in the virtual world without coming across as unkind or insensitive.
People can't hear your voice or see your face, after all.
I don't much appreciate folk -here or in real life -who derive a smug satisfaction from the kind of "honesty" that's just plain rudeness, sneering at other folks' beliefs and trampling on their feelings to make themselves feel important. :(
northener
02-Dec-07, 16:34
As you cannot see the person face to face i find you have to make your own picture of them,which at times can be rather frightening as i have a "mental picture" of a few on here and its not very nice!!! ;)
Though others have a lovely warm glow round them :)
he he
lol
Come on, Hotrod. You can't leave that one hanging!
People like me who have an ego the size of a solar system need to know how we are perceived by our peers.
Spill the beans!
Camel Spider
02-Dec-07, 17:01
I am pretty straight forward but that comes from a Forces background.
Which is why I didnt fit in when I lived in Wick as I would take any issues up with the person concerned. I wouldnt talk behind their backs or spread rumours. What I do find amusing are people who are quite happy to snap and snarl at you but when you snap back start playing the victim. Interestingly these are often the people who are talking and spreading the rumours.
i never hold back ,if a thing needs to be said then i say it.
dont believe in bottling thing,s up, get it out in the open, deal with it & get it over with.
Say what you think..embrace other points of view by ACTUALLY trying them on for size....argue your point while it is worth arguing..but most of all..
..wake up tomorrow with a fresh sheet, no grudges and an OPEN MIND!:)
Karia
Come on, Hotrod. You can't leave that one hanging!
People like me who have an ego the size of a solar system need to know how we are perceived by our peers.
Spill the beans!
There is a small bit of a glow around you at the moment BUT that can change ;)
So be careful!!
Sometimes things have to be said other times it is best to let things wash over you and at times it is better to seeth quietly and not let the other person know you are angry/upset because you cannot deal with the confrontation at that precise moment or cannot really be bothered with a row tact is good ..but is also good to have a row and clear the air too! I find it is good to know when and what to pick my fights about and let the little stuff go..
Jeemag_USA
02-Dec-07, 23:52
Sorry that is a bit of a no-brainer of a question. You should always say what needs to be said, to hold back on the truth or something that needs to be said makes you a liar to yourself and to all around you. Not meaning to be harsh but its true. Truth, Love and Honesty are the only way forward for all people. Holding back something that needs to be said eats away at yourself and you will rue the day you did not open your mouth. Over and out ;)
Margaret M.
02-Dec-07, 23:57
I am straight (and hopefully in a constructive way) with those close to me and I want them to be the same with me. If someone asks my opinion, I will be honest and tactful.
alanatkie
03-Dec-07, 00:02
I usually speak my mind unless i think it is best to say nothing as the person never listens to my advise anyway .
Margaret M.
03-Dec-07, 00:06
[B]I do however hold back and listen to the most awful dribble at times.
If someone is simply yapping on and I am so not enjoying the conversation, I try to be nice and just escape at the soonest possible moment. If they are speaking about others and I disagree with what they are saying, then I would speak up. If I agree, then I would join in -- if you have nothing nice to say, come sit beside me. Just kidding. :) I would still dart away as soon as I could. I don't have much patience for whiners and moaners.
Say what you think..embrace other points of view by ACTUALLY trying them on for size....argue your point while it is worth arguing..but most of all..
..wake up tomorrow with a fresh sheet, no grudges and an OPEN MIND!:)
Karia
Karia
I agree with you and dont be dominated by people who love to dominate and not just in age but people who take over all the time and believe it is there right to be there and shut other people out or have a faster response time to the argument and cannot embrace the other point of view
Powered by vBulletin® Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.