Lolabelle
12-Nov-07, 03:46
A Queensland cow cockie was grazing his herd on the long acre of a remote pasture in outback Queensland when suddenly a brand-new and shining 4WD emerges from a dust cloud.
The driver, a bloke in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Bolle sunglasses and Yves St Laurent silk tie, slides down the window and asks the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The farmer looks from the man to the peacefully grazing herd and murmurs, "Why not?"
The well-dressed bloke whips out his notebook, connects it to his mobile phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get a fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. Then he opens the digital photo in Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. Now he accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC-connected Excel spreadsheet on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturised LaserJet printer, turns to the drover and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right." says the farmer. "Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," And he watches the man select an animal and stuff it into the boot of his car.
"Hey," muses the grazier. "If I can tell you exactly what you do for a living, will you give me back the animal?"
The man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Parliamentarian from Canberra,” says the drover.
"Wow! That's correct! But how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the farmer. "You showed up here even though nobody invited you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cattle. Now, give me back my bloody dog."
The driver, a bloke in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Bolle sunglasses and Yves St Laurent silk tie, slides down the window and asks the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The farmer looks from the man to the peacefully grazing herd and murmurs, "Why not?"
The well-dressed bloke whips out his notebook, connects it to his mobile phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get a fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. Then he opens the digital photo in Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. Now he accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC-connected Excel spreadsheet on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturised LaserJet printer, turns to the drover and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right." says the farmer. "Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," And he watches the man select an animal and stuff it into the boot of his car.
"Hey," muses the grazier. "If I can tell you exactly what you do for a living, will you give me back the animal?"
The man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Parliamentarian from Canberra,” says the drover.
"Wow! That's correct! But how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the farmer. "You showed up here even though nobody invited you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cattle. Now, give me back my bloody dog."