Shopping

[karia]

A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the
most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second.
In the third everything had just been reduced to a fiver when her mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.
The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible.

As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the shops. She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the hospital.
She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful coffee slice which was complimentary from the last shop.

She was jubilant. Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital.
She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's
condition.
The female doctor glared at her and shouted,

"You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will be more than likely the last shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round the clock care. And you'll now be his carer!"

The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed.

The doctor then chuckled and said

"I'm just pulling your leg, he died,.....What did you buy?":)

[angela5]

A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"

The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.

The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?" Again, the clerk doesn`t answer him.

The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"

And the clerk just seems to ignore him. Finally, the guy is angry and storms off.

The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, "why wouldn`t you answer that guy's question?"

The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!":lol:

[angela5]

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech.

"And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does." :eek:

[johno]

you girls are worse than me. Ps,. look at the trouble i get myself in. he he he [lol]

[angela5]

This woman and her husband came out of the supermarket. She said, 'I'll put the shopping in the car and you get the baby.' The husband said, 'Alright.' And off he went. A few minutes later he was back at the car.
The woman said, 'Hey, that's not our baby.' The man said, 'Shut up, it's a better pram.':lol:

[Welcomefamily]

you girls are worse than me. Ps,. look at the trouble i get myself in. he he he [lol]
Like it, the blue looks good on you, makes me feel like a pill of old bones.

[johno]

Like it, the blue looks good on you, makes me feel like a pill of old bones.
and its hopping mad. lol ,[lol]heh heh heh cool.:cool: