humbling respect

[rhino]

just the other day i observed a funeral procession. Was humbled to see two pensionable aged gentlemen who were walking towards it, stop and remove their hats as it passed.

although unfortunately,

the moment was soon spoiled when some youngsters with baseball caps larked about as it passed.

Its a shame to see such values slipping by, especially within the younger generation.

I agree that things change, but some values should be kept in tradition.

[Welcomefamily]

I totally agree, it costs nothing to show some respect, but I wonder if the kids even knew. Then could it be the parents to blame. Something I noticed when I first came up here was how long the poppys lasted in Thurso, it does say something for the Town, many places have to take them down the same night.

[Torvaig]

Yes, it is only the parents, teachers etc., who can suggest children pay their respects. I must admit, it was my teacher who taught us to bow our heads whenever a funeral passed and I still do so today; at least for the leading cars.

Nowadays, funerals are so big that it can take a long while for them to pass and unless police have been asked to manage the traffic, the procession gets broken up at traffic lights, roundabouts etc.

When I was young there were not many cars around and there was only the hearse and family car and then a bus to take the rest, and of course it was only the men who attended. They all walked behind the hearse for a long while before they got on the bus. This was in the country; probably different in town where they could possibly walk the whole way.

[paris]

I can remember my parents used to pull the front room curtains on the day of a funeral out of respect. Jan x

[percy toboggan]

If I'm wearing a hat - I remove it...even if I'm in the truck. Just the way I was brought up and indicative of how appreciated the gesture from others when I was following my own fathers cortege many years ago.

[karia]

Indeed!

Just like Torvaig, I stop and bow my head as I have always done.

I am often aware of being the only person doing so, but will continue to show my respect in this way.

karia

[Oddquine]

I can remember my parents used to pull the front room curtains on the day of a funeral out of respect. Jan x

So did mine...........and if it is from the street where I live, so do I.

[horseman]

It is indeed a comfort to the bereaved to see someone pull off their hat or bow the head,even if as has been said it is only one person.
I did'ent get that outlook at school,it came from my family.

[mareng]

Unfortunately - you see funerals and memorial services on TV where young females wear black crop-tops with their bare midriffs showing.

Call me old fashioned, but fashion should take a back seat to tradition where that is concerned.

(you get the same with waitresses in restaurants, and I feel the same way about that)

........... but - I once spoke at a memorial service onboard an offshore installation in memory of a friend and colleague and held the belief that you could still attend in working overalls because sincerity overcomes dress......

So - make of that what you will....................

[JimH]

I'm afraid the standards of respect you witnessed are from another time - we don't often visit there anymore.

[karia]

I'm afraid the standards of respect you witnessed are from another time - we don't often visit there anymore.

That doesn't mean that we cannot return to them if enough of us wish it and take the time to explain it to another generation.

I find that a lot of young folk are both interested in, and respectful of, such traditions when they are explained to them.

I am not exactly Methuselah myself!;)

Karia

[JimH]

That doesn't mean that we cannot return to them if enough of us wish it and take the time to explain it to another generation.

I find that a lot of young folk are both interested in, and respectful of, such traditions when they are explained to them.

I am not exactly Methuselah myself!;)

Karia

It will not be in my life time unfortunately.

[karia]

It will not be in my life time unfortunately.

I suspect you are right, hope you are wrong,

and.....

..will dance, (most respectfully!) at your 100th birthday.....hips allowing!;)

karia

[trix]

i agree wi ye karia an i da think we should be too hard on these youngsters, they'v maybe been lucky enough no til hev encountered a death in e faimly or a close friend - yet...

i always take a menid til masel when i pass a funeral, bow ma heid an mind msel how precious life is. i da think anyone taught me at, i just learned it masel. i guess at happens in life.

but i bet it wilna be too long afore one o at young guys turns an sees a leading car in a funeral procession an it'l make him bow his heid, maybe no take off his hat, but he'l ken e score.

it probly wilna be long afore ivry one o at young guys will feel some sort o emotion and a bit o respect when funeral cars pass them by.

[karia]

Hi trix,

You are part of that new generation and may I say, most respectful with it!

karia

[Lolabelle]

That doesn't mean that we cannot return to them if enough of us wish it and take the time to explain it to another generation.

I find that a lot of young folk are both interested in, and respectful of, such traditions when they are explained to them.

I am not exactly Methuselah myself!;)

Karia

I agree, we need to explain these things to the younger generation, and like trix said, they may have never had death or tragedy in their family to know how they should behave. Let's hope and pray they never have to find out. I have noticed that youths quite often carry on silly and skylark when they don't know how to behave. It can be selfconsciousness sometimes.

[Torvaig]

"........... but - I once spoke at a memorial service onboard an offshore installation in memory of a friend and colleague and held the belief that you could still attend in working overalls because sincerity overcomes dress......"

I agree; sincerity does overcome dress every time. Not everyone has the opportunity to go home and change and being there is the most important factor. I have several times gone straight to a funeral from work and it never crossed my mind that I couldn't go because I was not wearing black.

[DeHaviLand]

If I'm wearing a hat - I remove it...even if I'm in the truck. Just the way I was brought up and indicative of how appreciated the gesture from others when I was following my own fathers cortege many years ago.

Percy, I'm a driver too, and when I see a funeral cortege, if I can, I stop, leave my vehicle and bow my head. Today, when I got the phone call to tell me that my best friends wife had died suddenly, that seemed to create a whole load of problems for other drivers. Lets hope it doesnt happen to them.

[trix]

"........... I have several times gone straight to a funeral from work and it never crossed my mind that I couldn't go because I was not wearing black.

im goin til a funeral later this week straight fie work but i will be goin home til change...intil ma long red skirt an top...:Razz

its what she would o wanted. i ken iss because she telt me she wanted colour at her funeral...an she loved red...:D

[Hibeechick]

I always bow my head when a funeral passes. Learned this through parents etc doing it and because it's something I work with on a regular basis.

[bluelady]

Most of the funerals I've seen/ been to in the county, the youngsters have been booted and suited and looking very smart. They have not all been in black and as Trix pointed out, this should depend on e persons age/wishes. Many traditions have long gone, and it really depends on e family. When I lived South,the deceased's favourite songs are played on a cassette either on entering or leaving church, but I've not seen that done here as yet. I dinnae ken if it's done up here or not.

[Anne x]

we were taught as children to have respect for a funeral or death in a family curtains were drawn until after the funeral in some small villages as I was growing up they did not have a rest rooms so funerals took place from the deceaseds home all communties had there own traditions which varied
we were also taught to stand quietly as the cortege moved away if it was from the local church

[trix]

When I lived South,the deceased's favourite songs are played on a cassette either on entering or leaving church, but I've not seen that done here as yet. I dinnae ken if it's done up here or not.

believe me when i say, this dis happen in wiek. i went til a funeral a few years back, it was a pal o mine - he wisna even 30 :(

i da think iv ever been so upset in ma life.

when they played 'this is the sea,' by e water boys i broke ma little hearty an so did every single person in e church.

i could probly handle e auld rugged cross better than i handled 'take it easy' by the eagles...

oh look at me getin all upset...:~(

[windswept]

the day of my Dads funeral is all a bit of a blur but I do remember on the way to the cremetorium a Gentleman removing his hat and bowing his head. I was very touched by this simple gesture from a stranger and have never forgotten it.

[helenwyler]

Interesting thread!

I'm 53 but was never allowed to attend any of my grandparents' funerals...it was considered 'inappropriate'...young age, I suspect, but do not know.

I have a Spanish sister-in-law who has lived in Scotland for 30 years. Her father was very famous in Spain since the 1930s. He died when she was very young. Because of his fame, she was not even told of the date or time of the funeral.

One day after her father died, she she looked behind the blinds (in Spain), as there was an unaccountable noise in the street. She watched a very grand funeral procession going down the avenue. Thinking it was nothing to do with her, she turned away.

It had been her father's funeral procession. To this day, in Scotland, she dreams of searching for her father in her local Spanish park...she had never had chance to say goodbye to him.

I have always had an innate respect for the finality of death...but I wasn't brought up on TV deaths, which though occasionally harrowing, are often without gravitas...something owed to every death imo:eek:!

helen

[mccaugm]

I have to attend a funeral on Friday of a very dear and very young friend of mine. (37). I was lucky as I did have the chance to say my goodbyes to him. This thread shows that people do have manners, morals and respect...long may it continue.