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rich
05-Mar-03, 16:02
I have the world's best line for initiating conversation with beautiful women.
Seven magic words!
Guys, send lots of money to RICH-BETTER LIVING AND RUBBER VELCRO PALACE, LICHTENSTEIN. And the secret of success with women will be yours.
I should tell you that due to the overwhelming demand from my female fans in Caithness I could be persuaded to share the SEVEN MAGIC WORDS gratis to the male population of Caithness.
I am told you are a lumpen lot and need all the help you can get.
But first let's see if you have any chat-up lines...Ladies, what is the worst you've ever heard - I would imagine anything involving the use of the word Watten - and the best (such as it is).....

squidge
05-Mar-03, 17:33
Rich

The worst i ever heard i cannot possibly post here but pm me for the details folks. [lol]

The best?

Well as it is a long time since i was "chatted up" and it was in the North West of England - Coronation Street Country - they usually went something like...


"Eyyyyy lass thas reet bonnie - fancy a pint down t'waggon on satdy neet?"

although i did hear once

"I am a furnace salesman think i could turn your heat up?" - he came complete with a medallion and ford capri and stay pressed trousers. Cant remember his name but he was awful.

Spiny Mendoza
05-Mar-03, 18:15
was this guy who I caught looking up my skirt with a mirror who said he was looking for his cat. I think HIS name was RICH, too!

Anonymous
06-Mar-03, 12:47
The best chat-up line I've ever heard is....

"I used to watch you walking past my house on the way to school."

I really liked that one, as it was from a guy I really fancy! :D

The worst was....

"Mmmm....you look good enough to eat."

I can't remember who said it, so I obviously didn't fancy the guy at all! [lol]

rich
06-Mar-03, 20:05
My chatline works 98% of the time among women in Canada based on a survey I conducted of 13 employees at the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Ontario.
But where are the men who would avail themselves of this super piece of knowledge?
Think you're above this sort of thing? Happily married? Or just given up?
Lads, you are going to have to show some interest or I'll never be able to put your love life to rights

Anonymous
06-Mar-03, 21:15
Here's another chat-up line I rather liked....

"Do you have a sister who's single, and looks just like you?"

The guy wasn't trying to pick me up, as he said it right in front of my husband! But I felt flattered, just the same. Hubby wasn't upset, as the guy was a colleague of his, whom he knew wouldn't really try to make a move on me.

Partan
06-Mar-03, 22:24
Here's another chat-up line I rather liked....

"Do you have a sister who's single, and looks just like you?"

The guy wasn't trying to pick me up, as he said it right in front of my husband! But I felt flattered, just the same. Hubby wasn't upset, as the guy was a colleague of his, whom he knew wouldn't really try to make a move on me.

Wid at no gie ye e boak :D :D

Anonymous
06-Mar-03, 22:31
Rich, I am positively dying to know what your seven magic words are! Are they :

"You're the most beautiful woman I've seen."

OR

"You're the prettiest woman I've ever seen."

OR

"Where have you been all my life?"


Please enlighten me, Rich!

Nigella

MadPict
06-Mar-03, 22:54
"Shut up and buy me a drink!"


http://hometown.aol.co.uk/MadPict/images/borgsmile.gifMadPict
http://hometown.aol.co.uk/MadPict/images/gruff_ext.gif

golach
06-Mar-03, 23:05
My best one always works with the more mature female
"Your kindness is only exceeded by your personal beauty" Lads its work for me for over 45 years and still works
Golach

Anonymous
06-Mar-03, 23:20
"Shut up and buy me a drink!"


http://hometown.aol.co.uk/MadPict/images/borgsmile.gifMadPict
http://hometown.aol.co.uk/MadPict/images/gruff_ext.gif

Well that one certainly wouldn't work with me, MadPict! [lol]

Spiny Mendoza
07-Mar-03, 08:12
Do I know ya?

Anonymous
07-Mar-03, 13:42
my best chat up line.is can i be your underwear,always works for me :)

Anonymous
07-Mar-03, 13:43
Here's another chat-up line I rather liked....

"Do you have a sister who's single, and looks just like you?"

The guy wasn't trying to pick me up, as he said it right in front of my husband! But I felt flattered, just the same. Hubby wasn't upset, as the guy was a colleague of his, whom he knew wouldn't really try to make a move on me.

Wid at no gie ye e boak :D :D
Ach Partan, are ye feelin' a wee bitie crabbit, perchance? :p [lol]

An' fit wis yer best chat-up line, by the way? :cool:

Anonymous
07-Mar-03, 13:52
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk :lol:

Anonymous
07-Mar-03, 14:09
You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also? :evil
Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes? :p

Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns. ;)
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. :p


Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? :p

I bet you're tired of hearing chat up lines, when words can't be compared or express the true nature of your beauty! :D ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh lol

hotrod4
07-Mar-03, 15:29
The one i always swear by is "get your coat you've pulled"

Or try bursting into the tavares hit "heaven must be missing an angel"

Or "wanna go halfers on a baby?" :evil
Personally now i dont use chat ups as my beauty speaks what words cannot say!!! lol
(Well it works in ma dreams ,pulled Kylie last night!)thats not a petname for a part of the
anatomy by the way!!!! (i know howsome of your minds work! :evil )

rich
07-Mar-03, 17:22
OK Here it is.
You are in a bar, or a supermarket, or an airport, or wherever people mingle.
There she is! At last...The girl of your dreams. Youre very own femme fatale. This was meant to be. This was ordained in heaven. You are two halves of the same soul.
But how do you speak to her? Your heart is thumping, the palms of your hands are sweating, tou are light-headed.
Get a grip, you fool!!!!
OK Steady now.
Get closer to her.
Your eyes meet.
You shift your gaze downwards.
Then you raise your eyes.
You smile at her. It's now time for the line. You take a deep breath and say.......

rich
07-Mar-03, 17:23
"WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE FABULOUS SHOES!"

George Brims
07-Mar-03, 20:12
What? Shoes? She's gonna think you're gay, Rich!

A bloke once told me the best chatup line for British women was "Would you like a cup of tea and a chocolate hobnob?"

Never had much in the way of chatup lines myself. Though I did pull this fabulous chick once with the simple and straightforward "Would you like to dance?". We celebrate our silver wedding this summer. :D

Anonymous
07-Mar-03, 23:50
"WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE FABULOUS SHOES!"
Och Rich, I thought your chat-up line would be something much more exciting than that! [lol]

Mind you, I did wear some pretty fabulous shoes in my younger days! In my teens, I had a pair of tricolour platforms that I wouldn't be seen dead in now! They were bright red, yellow and blue! :lol:

Several years later, I was very proud of my bright pink stiletto heels -- those drew compliments from men and women alike! :D

But alas, these days my shoes are much more conservative, I'm afraid.........

sassylass
08-Mar-03, 05:35
OK Rich that line would work with me.....cos I am crrrrrrrrrrazy about shoes! [lol]

Partan
08-Mar-03, 08:24
Ach Partan, are ye feelin' a wee bitie crabbit, perchance? :p [lol]



Aye, Lady K, I suppose so - the hermit crab next door was playing his music till all hours - I believe his name is Heblix :D





An' fit wis yer best chat-up line, by the way? :cool:

Those are a fine pair of feelers - your rockpool or mine? :eek:

Anonymous
08-Mar-03, 10:07
Ooooh, great chat-up line, Partan -- I like that one! [lol] :lol: [lol]

An' shame on ye, Heblix the Hermit Crab fer keepin' poor Partan awake wi' yer music till all hoors! [disgust]

Nae winder he wis a wee bitie crabbit the ither day! :p

Spiny Mendoza
12-Mar-03, 14:07
WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE FABULOUS SHOES???????????

I was waiting for something, well, BETTER!! That wouldn't work on ME, pal.

How about, I was just noticing that we are wearing the EXACT same underwear!

My line is better, Rich. But don't sweat it. You can hire me as a consultant. You ALL can. I'll give you a volume discount.

Spiny Mendoza
12-Mar-03, 14:09
Golach, do I know ya?

Anonymous
12-Mar-03, 18:00
All this talk about shoes reminds me of the time I almost met Stephen King! :cool:

I was working in a medical centre in New England, and went to retrieve some medical records from the office of one of the physicians assistants (PA), who just happened to be from Maine. I was wearing my pink stilettos at the time, and the PA said to me "Great shoes! I wonder what Stephen King would have thought of them?" I asked him what he meant, and he told me that I'd just missed THE Stephen King, who was a friend of his from school and college days. Stephen had paid him a social visit, and apparently I'd missed him by only a few minutes! At first I thought the PA was teasing me, as he was a big kidder, and he was grinning at me. But it turned out he was telling me the truth, as some of the other staff confirmed that Stephen King, the author, had indeed been visiting the PA!

Hmmm....I wonder if Stephen would have liked my pretty pink shoes too, had he seen them ?????? :lol:

Spiny Mendoza
12-Mar-03, 21:57
I don't know if Stephen King would have almost liked those pink shoes, but one time I met someone who actually did meet someone else and guess what??????? It WASN'T Rich!! and he wasn't, EITHER!!!!!!

Small world, eh?

Eve M
14-Mar-03, 16:48
Never had much in the way of chatup lines myself. Though I did pull this fabulous chick once with the simple and straightforward "Would you like to dance?". We celebrate our silver wedding this summer. :D

Aaww George what a lovely thing to say :o)

dpw39
14-Mar-03, 20:05
PICKUP LINES WORTH A TRY

Man: Haven’t we met before?
Woman: Perhaps, I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Man: So, wanna go back to my place ?
Woman: Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.

Man: I’d like to call you. What’s your number?
Woman: It’s in the phone book.

Man: But I don’t know your name.
Woman: That’s in the phone book too.

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I’m a female impersonator.

Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: Do not Enter

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilised !

Man: Hey, come on, were both here at this bar for the same reason
Woman: Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!

Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone

Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.

Man: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy
Woman: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, Id probably die laughing.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I’d go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Lets start with your bank account.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?

Ciao, Dave the Rave :D :) :o) :lol:

fionarich
22-Mar-03, 18:25
The two funniest chat up lines that have been used on me were:

"Hey-your jumper would look GREAT on my bedroom floor"

and (as I was on my way to the ladies room, this person grabbed my arm):

"Oi, you're lovely! Can I have a cuddle?" (No!), "Well then, can I have dance?" (Hmmm, maybe later- like another lifetime!!)"

And no offense, but the shoe line, does sound a bit gay! Or as if someone has a shoe fetish! What if the girl is wearing wellies?

Cheers,

Fiona Rich

mike.mckenzie
25-Mar-03, 18:14
"WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE FABULOUS SHOES!"

What!!!??? Deary me...

George Brims
25-Mar-03, 23:47
fionarich wrote:
>And no offense, but the shoe line, does sound a bit gay! Or as if someone has a shoe
>fetish! What if the girl is wearing wellies?

No fiona this is a *Caithness* website. Wellies at a dance would mean you're in Sutherland.


:D

tommy turtle
25-Mar-03, 23:55
When i was a young octopus, many years before joining tommy turtle and co i would head out on a friday nite to bar swim. It was a grand little place occupied by some of the most gorgeous carp and squid youll ever see.

My favorite line was " fried, baked or crumbed" ....
Worked everytime, leading to the present wife, mrs octopi, who has provided us with littel squidy pies....hopefully they will join the company one day.

Regards,
Mr Oct To Pi
CEO
Tommy Turtle and Co.

Anonymous
07-Apr-03, 18:40
At one time, my seven magic words were :- "Does your foot fit this glass slipper?"

But these days, I find that six magic words will suffice :- "What a lovely smile you have!" :D

This always elicits a smile back from the lady in question, and paves the way for further conversation. :cool: