is this the worst joke ever!!!!!

[Billy Boy]

Late last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from the pub. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the street lights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin. Then suddenly he heard a strange noise.......

BUMP........


BUMP........


BUMP........




Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into
his road.




BUMP........



BUMP........




BUMP........




He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box
approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape
more clearly....It was a coffin. Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started walking briskly home.





BUMP........





BUMP........





BUMP........





He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking faster.........




BUMP........BUMP.......





BUMP........BUMP.......




BUMP........BUMP........




The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but he heard the coffin speed up after him......




BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...




BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...





BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...




He started to sprint, but so did the coffin.......




BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....





BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....





BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....




Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, His hand trembling, he managed to open the
lock, he dived inside slamming the front door behind him. He
shot into his front room, and slumped into his comfy chair. Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way
through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock
off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued its chase.....





BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...




BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...




BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...





BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...




In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door........




BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...




BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...




BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...





The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the bathroom door flew off its hinges..... The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young terrified lad.




BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...




BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...




BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...




In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom cabinet......




He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the
coffin.......still it came ........




BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...





He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it
........still it came......






BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...





He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it
......still it came......





BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...




He grabbed some Benelyn cough mixture and threw it........



The coffin stopped. :eek:............................[lol]

[angela5]

I couldn't wait to get to the end, the suspense was killing me!
10 out of 10 for that one billyboy. :roll:

[johno]

yep liked that billyboy. heh heh:cool:

[Bobinovich]

Tha's a cracker!

[nanoo]

loved that one billy boy, keep em coming.:lol:

[Billy Boy]

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat minor. :lol:


Did you hear about the farmer who won an award?
He was out standing in his field.



Why don't blondes play frisbee?


it Hurts their teeth

[Billy Boy]

What do you call a woman who can balance a pint of lager on her head while making a 147 break in snooker?

Beertricks Potter....[lol]

[Billy Boy]

Three strings walk into a bar. The first string says confidently, "I've got the first round, boys," and strides up to the bar. Bartender says, "Are you a string?" String says, "Yeah." Bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve strings here." String returns to his buddies, red-faced. "Looks like we aren't getting drinks after all, boys."

String #2 steps up and says, "Don't worry, I'll take care of this." He glides up, drops a twenty on the bar and shouts, "Three whiskeys for me and my buddies, friend!" Bartender looks him up and down, takes his twenty, and says, "Are you a string?" String #2 stands there dumbstruck, unable to even form even the simplest of replies. Bartender says, "Listen, pal, like I told your friend over there, we don't serve strings. Now, beat it."

"Well," says String #2 to his buddies, "That's that. It's over. Let's just go."

But just then, String #3 has an idea. He ties himself up in a big knot, frays the ends of himself with his pocketknife, and sidles up to the bar. "I'd like three whiskeys, please." Bartender looks at him and says, "Are you a string?"

"No" he says to the bartender, "I'm a frayed knot."